I am on my way home and I feel the sway of the old Cops as I know of older days. I have not been home since 1998 and so much has changed, I can feel it in my bones. I miss the know, the rise of laughter, the hugs and the love that those Cops would give me on my visits to the barn. I originally left when I was 18 to go to Texas and although the adventure was indeed a good one I missed them every mile of the way.
To the barn I love and the Men of those days, I love that you cared for me during a time in the city where nobody cared. You gave to me the ability to be myself and you made everyday and every moment since my leave truth. The fact that you raised me as your own, loved me as your kid, I say I miss you, I miss you so much. The tears shy my cheeks as there is the cycle of life as you told me however this is pain, this pain you also told me of and yet it is the fact that I know I was young and the belief that you would always be there did not sway with your rule of insistence to that truth. You said that life has a funny way of explaining as it goes, you were right, and, today it is comprehension as I feel the truth of your words weigh me to your fee. You always told me the truth and you always cared that I existed, thank you.
Life without you as my only shoulder will be hard and yet I know all that training will be as you said. Thank you for all those talks and thank you for being real about all the difficulties of explaining old age, death and more. Your belief in the more is what comforts me as I know that you are still with me but I know I am going to miss the hug, I going to miss your smiling eyes, I am going to miss the comfort of the hello, I am going to miss you.
To life.
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