I love that my mother took me to the movie, the movie 'Anastasia', "a 1997 American animated musical fantasy adventure film produced and directed by Don Bluth and Gary Goldman in association with Fox Animation Studios, distributed by 20th Century Fox, and starring the voices of Meg Ryan, John Cusack, Kelsey Grammer, Hank Azaria, Christopher Lloyd, Bernadette Peters, Kirsten Dunst, and Angela Lansbury. The film is a loose adaptation of the legend of Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia, which claims that she escaped the execution of her family." And, what pride she wore as we walked in that evening, across the entry to seat ourselves, my goodness, the day of lifted ankles. The smile she wore on that day now makes me smile, and oh for the music, that beautiful music, the score. That was the only movie that she and I would ever see in theater together. My mother loved that she named me Anastasia and now I love that too!!
My middle name, I real claim to fame. Forest right to make the gentle stop to tell of more than just a life, today is the day that I thought to say that I have lived a tale and not only a day.
Living on the cusp of my life as a 9 life path with an 11 soul is as wonderful as every story that I had ever known. The recognition of so much is as I see the ocean as it waves. The storms bring the cold weather into shore and the rain sheds the tears of so many lives lost. Wishing that my life had not been filled with so much would have been a dream however the harsh reality of the 1960s and this country's rash and insidious behavior delivered real when I was so young that today is as the new wind.
It is not the memories that sorrow my wound(s) of life itself, as I was born in the midst of war. The Vietnam War was at it's tilt and this country was on the throws, unfortunately on April 29th, 1965 everybody in the U.S.A. was at odds and to this I state with simplicity that I breathe.
Changing nothing I noted that people are horrific and employ pain as their rally. It happened to be the sorrow of the veteran of war that the people of the United States took arms up against. As such and as I was born in San Francisco, California I only new hatred and screams of people that pointed fingers and took drugs, tons and tons of drugs however in that I saw more, I saw pain, tons and tons of pain.
The streets of San Francisco never did find anchor in any resolution. The years between became rank with bitter people and the rallies have never ended, death became resident in horror here in November of 1978. With that the people around the country fell not to the tour buses and blame instead it became laughter, mockery and the "told you so(s)", sadly this is where I saw people become worse. Religion in the early 1970s banked on the 1960s and that made quite a bit of money for those that participated, the Christian Church went haywire and even more bad behavior suffered our streets.
The 1980s gave a bit more as all the adults of those era's gave way to cocaine and I believe that those adults are all still numb from November 1978. Several of or actually more than several adults from the City Hall of San Francisco that were present during that horrid November of 1978 went on in politics even going as far as Washington D.C. and hold very prominent and powerful seats in both the Senate and the House of Representatives and as of recently one of those people actually holds the seat as the Speaker of the United States in the House of Representatives first being elected to Congress in 1987 and is the only woman to have served as speaker and is the highest ranking elected woman in United States history. These people never turned to look and see the pain, the horror, the rifled life left behind, I have never witnessed one law changed or one law added that did not just take more in adding more as if the entire reach was one of a hammer that had already been thrown as the hinge slammed the door that had already been closed with crime scene tape, the suffering is obvious, the impact of those years is as written as the times themselves as the multiplied thesis has now buried our entire country and is fowl with the stench of bad behavior and the “don't care" people. This shows all over the television and, well, in person my experience leans exactly back to those first few years of my life in The Haight/Ashbury, yuck, Patchouli Oil to cover the smell may help those that still perfume and should the Patchouli Oil update than an App. will provide the same cover for those dirty feet and unkempt lives as the entire smell of Patuchouli Oil only reminded me of one thing, the obituaries. That ripe smell and those feet gave path to more conversation and it always led down the same trail, hackers!! This word now is more formidable a, “hackers” means appropriately not taking your horse on a trail ride as it once meant it means what showed up in and on the streets of San Francisco as the true meaning of another remodeled word and the taking that meaning to the 1960s today makes me say to whom may be reading that the people were indeed hacking the brains of people, weird science now defined. “A hacker is someone who explores methods for breaching defenses and exploiting weaknesses in a computer system or network” and should that fantastic computer that was built after the human brain be good for anything than it is the food for thought today to the reality of what happened, Hackers.
My mother at the time had a small flat on Hemway Terrace and so I lean towards the good times that she and I had on our wonderful walks to go back and forth to her places of employment, downtown is a favorite. Walking through the Stockton Tunnel and listening to her determined path of lecture, her fervent words to stay far away from particular people still rings with truth today.
To state with lecture would be only the freedom of speech and I will not share the privacy of those determined walks, instead I will state with implicit word to afford only the basic lease, bad is bad and not affordable, what tenderness spoke my mother’s cold and not one would have known of her lecture to state.
Knowing that those people from City Hall did nothing to change the bitterness in San Francisco, and knowing that the seats they hold in office in Washington D.C. has done nothing other than continued the bad behavior of ignorance I understand the basic lecture, bad is bad.
Towards the good I treasure the footsteps of those walks where downtown meant more than a shopping trip, where the deli was a grand dinner after a day of hard work and where the Candy Shop was the bright stop that made the Richmond a breadth. In reality the beatings that I took from her second husband were awful and my siblings candor of breath to my very existence was hurtful and I still feel the heat of their awful nature however it is their nature, their problem, their shoulders that must carry such loaded memories, for my mother and I it was an afternoon at Union Square, a stop at the Macy's candy counter, a walk up Stockton Street, for us it was the talk. In that it was never the gossip that I hear today, it was more the expulsion of all their bad behavior and a good lesson in how that behavior is unbecoming. These lessons are indeed the branch of life itself, those lessons made all the pain real, made all those hippies simple, it made all the veterans friends and it made the drum of this country the song as the drugs were endless and still plague this country today. It is odd to see such reach and yet it is odder to see each song removed and replaced when all the fighting continues to be the same, man against man, woman against woman, sex against sex, religion against religion, basic war against war.
The Free Tibet movement was big back when I was born, it was more like free everything and grub it all too. People made work a dirty word and days of the week became the mud that each person threw at each other. I do not believe that there were any days that did not involve a fight. With candor the event has not changed much at least on the television, the wars still go on with vigor and strength, people still kill and people still blame, bad is bad.
I know that today is just another day for most people and perhaps that is good as today is just wonderful for me. I see the product development in my life and that development has kept my mind on the job, putting one foot in front of the other, determined.
I don't miss the good old days because there were never any "good old days". That is sad as I have heard many speak of such and always wondered what life must have been like in the U.S.A. before all the wars and discontentment however I am glad that I do not have to suffer such a quote as those people that said such words now quotes have always seemed stuck in high school, may you rest in peace.
To fashion of my existence is simplify the war to rules of engagement, avoid it all together. Don't run, don't speak, don't be in anybody's home unless the address is of kindness and not woe or ploy, these rules having worked better. I miss my mother of course and I have not met a man to share the remainder of my life.
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