What Truth Sounds Like Will Make You Gag!!

As I confused Michael Eric Dyson, Sociologist, with Neil deGrasse Tyson, Astrophysicist, today, Wednesday, December 19, 2018 I thought I would say a word about the subject that Michael Eric Dyson rebukes, as he was on Real Time with Bill Mayer too.

Racism in America is awful.  I was born and raised in San Francisco, California and was unaware of racism and/or bigotry in our country.  My mother made me watch 'Roots' when it first came out, she never told me that people still felt like that or mentioned anything other than I had to sit down and watch the movie.  The movie itself still did not connect that day to my day (it was a series) as each day it seemed to be not related to me and or my life and or relative to anything going on in the city.  My mother never said anything and I went on happily with my life as I thought the whole 'Roots' thing and all that that would have come from such a horror was healed and all was well in our country.  I thought that any relevance was my mother's, mother's, mother's generation speaking on account to not forget the horrors, and out of politeness I did not say anything as my mother was always being sure to remind me of things just like that, it was very important to her that I never forget anything and this was another thing on the long list of things I had to remember.

I ended-up moving to Sacramento, California, before that, the facts.  I had driven across the United States, I went as far as the State of Kentucky before turning back to live in the State of Texas for a year or so.  I couldn't take it.  The racism was so bad that it gave my life death.   I had never known such words or behaviors, I had never seen plots of land that went on for hours that were just blocks of the same giant neighborhoods that made the evident state of money so loud that I could not license the scenario as it was all real.  I returned home to the State of California, I moved to San Luis Obispo County living a long way from any town, this is not a long story.  In San Luis Obispo County I am not sure I ever even saw a black person, I couldn't take that either, I felt like I was living on the moon, or on some lost colony that forgot there were other races on the face of the planet however coming from Texas and on the drive back home I noted the blocks, what blocks?  I noted that outside of certain States there were not even blocks, it was just white with a token Chinese Restaurant, and I came to balance by looking for that token Chinese Restaurant, it was the only thing that gave my legs any steadiness and made me know that all the black people were not dead.

I ended-up not being able to take the weirdness and returned home to San Francisco where I never said much to my mother as the shock and horror was obvious as it showed all over my face.  That being said, I ended it after going to Sacramento, California as I was working for PetSmart up there and the way people actually speak in the working environment topped my experience of just living and driving across our country.  I again had never experienced the separation and trending rudeness on both peoples part, both black and white people were at each others throats and the accusations of theft and job liberty (promotions) brought an entire new level to my eyes however I almost fell over when I saw a Confederate Flag hanging inside somebody's house.  I still can hardly blink while thinking of that giant flag on that bedroom wall.  In that midst of madness I witnessed by actual the working out of a plan to hang that flag at a local high school, Del Campo in Carmichael to be specific.  Those people did it, and they got caught and yet the seriousness was dismisses as it was said to be some type of joke however I did not think it was a joke as I know how those people felt about black people.  It was so confusing because in public they would say that they had black friends and somehow that was supposed to make up for something but people whom do such things behind closed doors follow different rules as their behavior seemed highly different to what I had ever known.  Fact, it is still uncomfortable to think about as I don't like that joke thing being scoffed or laughed as out of hand because it is not funny especially when I saw on the local News that that very thing had happened again at that very high school in Carmichael, California.

I ended-up getting very badly hurt on the job and was placed on worker's compensation.  After surviving all that weird racist behavior I thought I would move back home to San Francisco as I did not want to live in or near any town or towns or city or cities that had at all those racist views. I went to Marin County as that was a bit warmer than San Francisco and I had a ton of hardware in my back (it looks probably similar to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ53CtXfc3o), I thought it would be less painful during the winters, I really ask you to listen carefully as that was the only reason I went to Marin, I went for the warmth as it is very foggy in San Francisco.  While in Marin County I lived in Larkspur, Petaluma, Novato, Mill Valley and than for a good seven years in Tiburon, the fact that racism is more than what Michael Eric Dyson explained is explainable as I am able to say in a sentence what I saw and what I was told.  I was told while in Marin County that black people should be removed from the planet.  It was rougher than that and for the shock I still am in a reserve of my language to what is easily understood by just stating "removed".  

This was not said once or twice, this was a culture that I can say did not exist yesterday or today, it is a permanent way of action.  Every word that was breathed, every footstep taken employed that shoulder of horror.  All I could do was be blank as I still sort of feel that way and I feel as if I still am in shock, as if I have been in a car crash and was hit from every single side of my life.  I have only been home in San Francisco for six months and I am still in a bit of horror as it does not seem believable and yet I know exactly this, problem people will always be problem people.  No matter their problem it is their problem and their education to such is only my time explaining that their problem needs more than numbers to fix.  It would take intelligence.