Title: Words The control[Control] equated word left[Left] word this[This] equated word is[political[Political] as word politics[Politics] equated words........

my name is.....first term words equated and that statement equated words common!!

so, word wealth

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Cantore Arithmetic is able to state word name Judge Wapner aka Joseph Wapner American judge equated word letter REM.

Words As Seen on TV equated words as seen on tv so, word television[Television[TELEVISION]]:  The concept of television is the work of many individuals in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. Constantin Perskyi had coined the word television in a paper read to the International Electricity Congress at the World's Fair in Paris on August 24, 1900.[1] The first practical transmissions of moving images over a radio system used mechanical rotating perforated disks to scan a scene into a time-varying signal that could be reconstructed at a receiver back into an approximation of the original image. Development of television was interrupted by the Second World War. After the end of the war, all-electronic methods of scanning and displaying images became standard. Several different standards for addition of color to transmitted images were developed with different regions using technically incompatible signal standards. Television broadcasting expanded rapidly after World War II, becoming an important mass medium.

I am not in need of this process as the Library is available and DVD are available.  Social Security and Workers Compensation are not a appeal.  I have emailed three Presidents of the United States of America:

1.  Mr. President aka Barack O'Bama

2.  Mr. President aka Donald Trump

3.  Mr. President aka Joseph Biden a Catholic.

The information is not following a letter and the response from the POTUS listed online has had equated word nothing.  I am starving, I am financially viable and yet because of what you as Nation did to Nikola Tesla, I, Karen Placek and suffering word mad.  I am not a Nomad.  Your history in this Country have advertised word abuse for genius, savant, and, prodigy.  This should have brought word term to word communication as word history[Study]. 

I have sent Fax, I have sent Fed-Ex, I have done the word chosen and completed word equated word life and yet you as the Public at-large are still in my blogs under word continual.  You are still equating and word doing word things in word eventual, you are equated words dirty people and for a Judge word Dirty Blonde Hair on the DMV license word calendar will eventual by your advertisement for word sow.  So, letter s[S] o[O] w[W] has numbers.  So, words this is a term thing, as word term[Term] equated word stow:

1.  The bell first cracked when rung after its arrival in Philadelphia, and was twice recast by local workmen John Pass and John Stow,

The amount of frustration running through my body equated words don’t ask why.

1.  don’t ask why:  

https://thesecretoftheuniversechoice.blogspot.com/search?q=don’t+ask+why

2.   query don’t ask why. Sort by date Show all posts:  Words Cantore Arithmetic is able to state the misgivings to word now.

Monday, May 13, 2024

This Is A Flesh Hoof

 

You searched for

"DONT ASK WHY" in the KJV Bible

Related words: 

Ask   Asked   Asketh   Asking   

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1 Kings 2:22chapter context similar meaning copy save

And king Solomon answered and said unto his mother, And why dost thou askAbishag the Shunammite for Adonijah? ask for him the kingdom also; for he is mine elder brother; even for him, and for Abiathar the priest, and for Joab the son of Zeruiah.

Luke 19:31chapter context similar meaning copy save

And if any man ask you, Why do ye loose him? thus shall ye say unto him, Because the Lord hath need of him.

James 4:3chapter context similar meaning copy save

Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.

John 18:21chapter context similar meaning copy save

Why askest thou me? ask them which heard me, what I have said unto them: behold, they know what I said.

Isaiah 7:11chapter context similar meaning copy save

Ask thee a sign of the LORD thy God; ask it either in the depth, or in the height above.

John 16:23chapter context similar meaning copy save

And in that day ye shall ask me nothing. Verily, verily, I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall ask the Father in my name, he will give it you.

1 Samuel 1:8chapter context similar meaning copy save

Then said Elkanah her husband to her, Hannah, why weepest thou? and why eatest thou not? and why is thy heart grieved? am not I better to thee than ten sons?

Luke 11:11chapter context similar meaning copy save

If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? or if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?

Psalms 74:1chapter context similar meaning copy save

(Maschil of Asaph.) O God, why hast thou cast us off for ever? why doth thine anger smoke against the sheep of thy pasture?

Luke 24:38chapter context similar meaning copy save

And he said unto them, Why are ye troubled? and why do thoughts arise in your hearts?

Psalms 88:14chapter context similar meaning copy save

LORD, why castest thou off my soul? why hidest thou thy face from me?

Psalms 10:1chapter context similar meaning copy save

Why standest thou afar off, O LORD? why hidest thou thyself in times of trouble?

Genesis 4:6chapter context similar meaning copy save

And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?

Job 3:12chapter context similar meaning copy save

Why did the knees prevent me? or why the breasts that I should suck?

Psalms 42:9chapter context similar meaning copy save

I will say unto God my rock, Why hast thou forgotten me? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

Acts 3:12chapter context similar meaning copy save

And when Peter saw it, he answered unto the people, Ye men of Israel, why marvel ye at this? or why look ye so earnestly on us, as though by our own power or holiness we had made this man to walk?

1 Corinthians 6:7chapter context similar meaning copy save

Now therefore there is utterly a fault among you, because ye go to law one with another. Why do ye not rather take wrong? why do ye not rather suffer yourselves to be defrauded?

Psalms 43:2chapter context similar meaning copy save

For thou art the God of my strength: why dost thou cast me off? why go I mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?

Job 3:11chapter context similar meaning copy save

Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly?

Judges 5:28chapter context similar meaning copy save

The mother of Sisera looked out at a window, and cried through the lattice, Why is his chariot so long in coming? why tarry the wheels of his chariots?

Deuteronomy 4:32chapter context similar meaning copy save

For ask now of the days that are past, which were before thee, since the day that God created man upon the earth, and ask from the one side of heaven unto the other, whether there hath been any such thing as this great thing is, or hath been heard like it?

Psalms 42:5chapter context similar meaning copy save

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.

Romans 14:10chapter context similar meaning copy save

But why dost thou judge thy brother? or why dost thou set at nought thy brother? for we shall all stand before the judgment seat of Christ.

Psalms 43:5chapter context similar meaning copy save

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

Psalms 22:1chapter context similar meaning copy save

(To the chief Musician upon Aijeleth Shahar, A Psalm of David.) My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?

Psalms 42:11chapter context similar meaning copy save

Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted within me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him, who is the health of my countenance, and my God.

1 Chronicles 21:3chapter context similar meaning copy save

And Joab answered, The LORD make his people an hundred times so many more as they be: but, my lord the king, are they not all my lord's servants? why then doth my lord require this thing? why will he be a cause of trespass to Israel?

1 Samuel 19:17chapter context similar meaning copy save

And Saul said unto Michal, Why hast thou deceived me so, and sent away mine enemy, that he is escaped? And Michal answered Saul, He said unto me, Let me go; why should I kill thee?

John 14:14chapter context similar meaning copy save

If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do it.

Matthew 7:10chapter context similar meaning copy save

Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?

 

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Related Bible Verses

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Those Who Dont Believe

Ask

Why Me

People Who Dont Like You

Ask Jesus

Why Go To Church

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Egyptians Ask Moses To Depart

Israelites Ask For A King

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You searched for

"SOW" in the KJV Bible

Related words: 

Sowed   Sowedst   Sower   Sowest   Soweth   Sowing   Sown  

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Psalms 126:5chapter context similar meaning copy save

They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.

Mark 4:3chapter context similar meaning copy save

Hearken; Behold, there went out a sower to sow:

Matthew 13:3chapter context similar meaning copy save

And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;

Job 4:8chapter context similar meaning copy save

Even as I have seen, they that plow iniquity, and sow wickedness, reap the same.

Psalms 107:37chapter context similar meaning copy save

And sow the fields, and plant vineyards, which may yield fruits of increase.

Job 31:8chapter context similar meaning copy save

Then let me sow, and let another eat; yea, let my offspring be rooted out.

Leviticus 25:20chapter context similar meaning copy save

And if ye shall say, What shall we eat the seventh year? behold, we shall not sow, nor gather in our increase:

Exodus 23:10chapter context similar meaning copy save

And six years thou shalt sow thy land, and shalt gather in the fruits thereof:

Isaiah 28:24chapter context similar meaning copy save

Doth the plowman plow all day to sow? doth he open and break the clods of his ground?

Hosea 10:12chapter context similar meaning copy save

Sow to yourselves in righteousness, reap in mercy; break up your fallow ground: for it is time to seek the LORD, till he come and rain righteousness upon you.

Matthew 13:27chapter context similar meaning copy save

So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sowgood seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?

Jeremiah 4:3chapter context similar meaning copy save

For thus saith the LORD to the men of Judah and Jerusalem, Break up your fallow ground, and sow not among thorns.

Isaiah 32:20chapter context similar meaning copy save

Blessed are ye that sow beside all waters, that send forth thither the feet of the ox and the ass.

Leviticus 25:11chapter context similar meaning copy save

A jubile shall that fiftieth year be unto you: ye shall not sow, neither reap that which groweth of itself in it, nor gather the grapes in it of thy vine undressed.

2 Peter 2:22chapter context similar meaning copy save

But it is happened unto them according to the true proverb, The dog is turned to his own vomit again; and the sow that was washed to her wallowing in the mire.

Luke 8:5chapter context similar meaning copy save

A sower went out to sow his seed: and as he sowed, some fell by the way side; and it was trodden down, and the fowls of the air devoured it.

Leviticus 25:4chapter context similar meaning copy save

But in the seventh year shall be a sabbath of rest unto the land, a sabbath for the LORD: thou shalt neither sow thy field, nor prune thy vineyard.

Luke 12:24chapter context similar meaning copy save

Consider the ravens: for they neither sow nor reap; which neither have storehouse nor barn; and God feedeth them: how much more are ye better than the fowls?

Luke 19:21chapter context similar meaning copy save

For I feared thee, because thou art an austere man: thou takest up that thou layedst not down, and reapest that thou didst not sow.

Zechariah 10:9chapter context similar meaning copy save

And I will sow them among the people: and they shall remember me in far countries; and they shall live with their children, and turn again.

Matthew 6:26chapter context similar meaning copy save

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?

Ecclesiastes 11:4chapter context similar meaning copy save

He that observeth the wind shall not sow; and he that regardeth the clouds shall not reap.

Jeremiah 35:7chapter context similar meaning copy save

Neither shall ye build house, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyard, nor have any: but all your days ye shall dwell in tents; that ye may live many days in the land where ye be strangers.

Ecclesiastes 11:6chapter context similar meaning copy save

In the morning sow thy seed, and in the evening withhold not thine hand: for thou knowest not whether shall prosper, either this or that, or whether they both shall be alike good.

Genesis 47:23chapter context similar meaning copy save

Then Joseph said unto the people, Behold, I have bought you this day and your land for Pharaoh: lo, here is seed for you, and ye shall sow the land.

Luke 19:22chapter context similar meaning copy save

And he saith unto him, Out of thine own mouth will I judge thee, thou wicked servant. Thou knewest that I was an austere man, taking up that I laid not down, and reaping that I did not sow:

Deuteronomy 22:9chapter context similar meaning copy save

Thou shalt not sow thy vineyard with divers seeds: lest the fruit of thy seed which thou hast sown, and the fruit of thy vineyard, be defiled.

Leviticus 25:3chapter context similar meaning copy save

Six years thou shalt sow thy field, and six years thou shalt prune thy vineyard, and gather in the fruit thereof;

Jeremiah 31:27chapter context similar meaning copy save

Behold, the days come, saith the LORD, that I will sow the house of Israel and the house of Judah with the seed of man, and with the seed of beast.

Leviticus 19:19chapter context similar meaning copy save

Ye shall keep my statutes. Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind: thou shalt not sow thy field with mingled seed: neither shall a garment mingled of linen and woollen come upon thee.

 

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You searched for

"STUDY" in the KJV Bible

Related words: 

Studieth   

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2 Timothy 2:15chapter context similar meaning copy save

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Ecclesiastes 12:12chapter context similar meaning copy save

And further, by these, my son, be admonished: of making many books there is no end; and much study is a weariness of the flesh.

1 Thessalonians 4:11chapter context similar meaning copy save

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you;

 

Monday, May 13, 2024

This Is A Flesh Hoof

 

Flesh Hoof

Cantore Arithmetic is able to state the misgivings to word now.  The applicable application is quote that man had his town crucified.  Word town began to equate the three parent system in England reported as:  A baby has been born using three people's DNA for the first time in the UK, the fertility regulator has confirmed. Most of their DNA comes from their two parents and around 0.1% from a third, donor woman. The pioneering technique is an attempt to prevent children being born with devastating mitochondrial diseases.  According to Google being able to report as the bar system to proper computer talend to typed and enter:  BBC.

Cantore Arithmetic is able to state without parameter and without explanation the three-parent system to method:  Who’s on first?  Word town equated words god entity.  Word man made in the image of god equated word cycle.  Word cycle equated word blood down.

1 Peter 1:19

“But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:” 

King James Version (KJV)

Genesis 3:22

“And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:” 

King James Version (KJV)

Proverbs 3:24

“When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.” 

King James Version (KJV)

You searched for

"TOWN" in the KJV Bible

Related words: 

Townclerk   Towns   

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Mark 8:26chapter context similar meaning copy save

And he sent him away to his house, saying, Neither go into the town, nor tell it to any in the town.

Habakkuk 2:12chapter context similar meaning copy save

Woe to him that buildeth a town with blood, and stablisheth a city by iniquity!

John 11:1chapter context similar meaning copy save

Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.

Matthew 10:11chapter context similar meaning copy save

And into whatsoever city or town ye shall enter, enquire who in it is worthy; and there abide till ye go thence.

John 11:30chapter context similar meaning copy save

Now Jesus was not yet come into the town, but was in that place where Martha met him.

John 7:42chapter context similar meaning copy save

Hath not the scripture said, That Christ cometh of the seed of David, and out of the town of Bethlehem, where David was?

1 Samuel 16:4chapter context similar meaning copy save

And Samuel did that which the LORD spake, and came to Bethlehem. And the elders of the town trembled at his coming, and said, Comest thou peaceably?

Joshua 2:15chapter context similar meaning copy save

Then she let them down by a cord through the window: for her house was upon the town wall, and she dwelt upon the wall.

1 Samuel 27:5chapter context similar meaning copy save

And David said unto Achish, If I have now found grace in thine eyes, let them give me a place in some town in the country, that I may dwell there: for why should thy servant dwell in the royal city with thee?

Mark 8:23chapter context similar meaning copy save

And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.

1 Samuel 23:7chapter context similar meaning copy save

And it was told Saul that David was come to Keilah. And Saul said, God hath delivered him into mine hand; for he is shut in, by entering into a town that hath gates and bars.

Luke 5:17chapter context similar meaning copy save

And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Pharisees and doctors of the law sitting by, which were come out of every town of Galilee, and Judaea, and Jerusalem: and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.

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What is Leigh syndrome?
SKETCH COMEDY“WHO'S ON FIRST?” The text of Abbott & Costello's classic routine.
Abbott: Well, Costello, I'm going to New York with you. Bucky Harris the Yankee's manager gave me a job as coach for as long as you're on the team.Costello: Look Abbott, if you're the coach, you must know all the players. Abbott: I certainly do.Costello: Well you know I've never met the guys. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's playing on the team.Abbott: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these ball players now-a-days very peculiar names.Costello: You mean funny names?Abbott: Strange names, pet names...like Dizzy Dean...Costello: His brother DaffyAbbott: Daffy Dean...Costello: And their French cousin.Abbott: French?Costello: Goofe'Abbott: Goofe' Dean. Well, let's see, we have on the bags, Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know is on third...Costello: That's what I want to find out.Abbott: I say Who's on first, What's on second, I Don't Know's on third. Costello: Are you the manager? Abbott: Yes.Costello: You gonna be the coach too? Abbott: Yes.Costello: And you don't know the fellows' names. Abbott: Well I should.Costello: Well then who's on first?Abbott: Yes.Costello: I mean the fellow's name. Abbott: Who.Costello: The guy on first.Abbott: Who.Costello: The first baseman.Abbott: Who.Costello: The guy playing...Abbott: Who is on first!Costello: I'm asking you who's on first. Abbott: That's the man's name. Costello: That's who's name?Abbott: Yes.Costello: Well go ahead and tell me. Abbott: That's it.Costello: That's who?Abbott: Yes. PAUSECostello: Look, you gotta first baseman? Abbott: Certainly.Costello: Who's playing first?Abbott: That's right.
Costello: When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Abbott: Every dollar of it.Costello: All I'm trying to find out is the fellow's name on first base.Abbott: Who.Costello: The guy that gets...Abbott: That's it.Costello: Who gets the money...Abbott: He does, every dollar of it. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Costello: Who's wife?Abbott: Yes. PAUSEAbbott: What's wrong with that?Costello: I wanna know is when you sign up the first baseman, how does he sign his name? Abbott: Who.Costello: The guy.Abbott: Who.Costello: How does he sign...Abbott: That's how he signs it.Costello: Who?Abbott: Yes. PAUSECostello: All I'm trying to find out is what's the guys name on first base.Abbott: No. What is on second base.Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.Abbott: Who's on first.Costello: One base at a time!Abbott: Well, don't change the players around.Costello: I'm not changing nobody!Abbott: Take it easy, buddy.Costello: I'm only asking you, who's the guy on first base?
Abbott: That's right.Costello: OK.Abbott: Alright. PAUSECostello: What's the guy's name on first base? Abbott: No. What is on second.Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second. Abbott: Who's on first.Costello: I don't know.Abbott: He's on third, we're not talking about him. Costello: Now how did I get on third base? Abbott: Why you mentioned his name.Costello: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third? Abbott: No. Who's playing first.Costello: What's on base?Abbott: What's on second.Costello: I don't know.Abbott: He's on third.Costello: There I go, back on third again! PAUSECostello: Would you just stay on third base and don't go off it. Abbott: Alright, what do you want to know?Costello: Now who's playing third base?Abbott: Why do you insist on putting Who on third base? Costello: What am I putting on third.Abbott: No. What is on second.Costello: You don't want who on second?Abbott: Who is on first.Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSE Costello: Look, you gotta outfield?
Abbott: Sure.Costello: The left fielder's name?Abbott: Why.Costello: I just thought I'd ask you.Abbott: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.Costello: Then tell me who's playing left field.Abbott: Who's playing first.Costello: I'm not...stay out of the infield!!! I want to know what's the guy's name in left field? Abbott: No, What is on second.Costello: I'm not asking you who's on second.Abbott: Who's on first!Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSECostello: The left fielder's name?Abbott: Why.Costello: Because!Abbott: Oh, he's center field. PAUSECostello: Look, You gotta pitcher on this team?Abbott: Sure.Costello: The pitcher's name?Abbott: Tomorrow.Costello: You don't want to tell me today?Abbott: I'm telling you now.Costello: Then go ahead.Abbott: Tomorrow!Costello: What time?Abbott: What time what?Costello: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's pitching?Abbott: Now listen. Who is not pitching.
Costello: I'll break you're arm if you say who's on first!!! I want to know what's the pitcher's name? Abbott: What's on second.Costello: I don't know. Together: Third base! PAUSECostello: Gotta a catcher?Abbott: Certainly.Costello: The catcher's name?Abbott: Today.Costello: Today, and tomorrow's pitching.Abbott: Now you've got it.Costello: All we got is a couple of days on the team. PAUSE Costello: You know I'm a catcher too.Abbott: So they tell me.Costello: I get behind the plate to do some fancy catching, Tomorrow's pitching on my team and a heavy hitter gets up. Now the heavy hitter bunts the ball. When he bunts the ball, me, being a good catcher, I'm gonna throw the guy out at first. So I pick up the ball and throw it to who?Abbott: Now that's the first thing you've said right.Costello: I don't even know what I'm talking about! PAUSEAbbott: That's all you have to do.Costello: Is to throw the ball to first base.Abbott: Yes!Costello: Now who's got it?Abbott: Naturally. PAUSECostello: Look, if I throw the ball to first base, somebody's gotta get it. Now who has it? Abbott: Naturally.Costello: Who?Abbott: Naturally.Costello: Naturally?Abbott: Naturally.Costello: So I pick up the ball and I throw it to Naturally.
Abbott: No you don't you throw the ball to Who. Costello: Naturally.Abbott: That's different.Costello: That's what I said.Abbott: you're not saying it... Costello: I throw the ball to Naturally. Abbott: You throw it to Who. Costello: Naturally.Abbott: That's it.Costello: That's what I said!Abbott: You ask me.Costello: I throw the ball to who? Abbott: Naturally.Costello: Now you ask me.Abbott: You throw the ball to Who? Costello: Naturally.Abbott: That's it.Costello: Same as you! Same as YOU!!! I throw the ball to who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!Abbott: What?Costello: I said I don't give a darn! Abbott: Oh, that's our shortstop. Costello: (makes screaming sound)

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Friday, June 3, 2011

So, My ...

 My  sister came out to California and we drove an R.V. back across the country to Louisiana, this was five years ago.  It was the strangest trip I have ever had been on. I heard so many times, "I feel so bad you never had a childhood."  I am not quite sure how many times I heard this from her, but enough I began to do a lot of wondering about it.  My sister is seven years older than I am. We had not spent any amount of time together since I was 12 or 13 years old when she had left for New York City to attend Julliard. She never returned from the school, she had a falling out with my mother and I never heard from her until I contacted her when I took off from home.  At 18 I contacted her and spent a couple weeks visiting her in New York.  I had a good time, it was rather intense and not really the person I had remembered.  So, pretty much since then, 1983 would have been the year I visited, I have not spent anytime with her. I was excited when she offered to have me come back and live with her and her family.  I thought it would be a great opportunity to know if the decision I had made when I was young was correct. I did not always see eye to eye with her, she seemed preoccupied as we all did but I disagreed with some of her tactics.

We lasted for two and a half weeks before she left me with her lover in an R.V. Park in Ft. Worth, Texas.  I still don't know why she left me.  I don't even know exactly how she was able to do it.  It seemed one moment was fine and the next she was packing her bag and walking towards the front gate of the R.V. park and hitching a ride back to LA. She took her belongings and some of mine, walked away without a word.  I wondered if it was the guilt of having a lover when she had a husband. I still don't know exactly why, but the guy she left me with was very cool.  I explained I had never driven and R.V. before, that my sister had done all of the driving across the country. She had failed to teach me how to drive this 32 foot monster.  I told him that I would get him back to the Dallas/Ft Worth airport and that other than saying that, I don't know what to say about what just happened with my sister.

He was an unusually calm man. He put his arms around me and gave me a big hug.  He told me it would be O.K. and oddly enough it was.  Together we ended up breaking camp, an adventure when you have never unhooked things by yourself.  We ended up driving to a Motel near the airport. I was to chicken to drive into the airport, as I had only about 45 miles of driving this beast under my belt.  We are still friends on facebook and he along with one other man that I met randomly on a mutual blogging site, have been real supporters of me when I am down.  Thank you for that day, you made a very strange time, a time that I could get through. I was so grateful that I was not alone when she decided to do this to me.

I don't know why I started to think about this today. I guess it's because it is raining and I don't feel well.  I was sitting here wondering what she meant by saying so many times, that she was sorry that I did not have a childhood.  I was thinking back on when she was talking to me as she drove this R.V.  down the highway. She looked sad, upset, guilty, mad, angry and mostly frustrated that somehow I didn't get it.  She would look at me as she was talking and I would say in response, don't worry about it, if you don't know what you are missing, then you really cannot miss it, she got so upset with me. She told me how I didn't understand how much I was missing. I told her, that was the point.  She told me that when Mom was married to Dad, before I was born that they did this and that, I said, "Yea, I know, you have told me several times." She got angry finally and just said that I didn't get it and never would.  It seemed like she was fighting back all these tears and guilt.  The mixed emotional signals were difficult to react to but I didn't know what to say or do.

We had traveled for quite some time. It takes a while to drive half way across the country.  The subject of my childhood had not come up in conversation for at least 300 miles.  But, then once again the subject was at hand.  I finally stopped her and said, "My childhood was had by me. It may not have been like yours or like anyone else's, but it was mine and I did have one." I thought for sure that this would work to stop her on this relentless battle over my lack of having any childhood at all.  It did not end there, it kept going, almost right up to the time she left me in that R.V. Park.  I wonder if guilt played a part in her leaving me. Almost since I did not chastise her for having a lover and a husband, somehow I was flawed and did not know the simple rules of life.  I wonder why she was so heated over my lack of childhood. Then I wondered why at no other time in my life, when money for her was available to do kind things for me, that she never did anything at all.  In fact, the only reason we were on this trip was that I had contacted her six previous to this lovely disaster in my life that I was currently going through. I was grateful for her offer to live with her. Of course, I had paid for her ticket to California and I was paying for everything up to the time that she left.  It was odd that she did not help me at all, I found it very expensive and had I known I would not have gone, it was far more than I had to spend.  She scolded me at the Grand Canyon because I said lets not by beverages here, they are really expensive. We can purchase them at the next town, it would better on my pocket book.  She was inflamed to say the least, she told me how if I did not spend money like I had money, then I would never get money.  I didn't really know what to say to her, so I bought her what she wanted to shut her up.

I am babbling a bit, but it causes me concern in my life, when I know that my life causes people to be uncomfortable with themselves.  I mean I did not ask for the life that I received.  It is as if my siblings look at me and my very existence causes them to be angry.  My younger sister told me that I should take a gun and blow my head off, that it would be the best thing for the family.  I wonder what it is that I am missing.  Seems ignorant I guess, but I believe I have been missing it my entire life.  Maybe that is what she was driving at when she said that I never had a childhood and was so bothered by this fact. It makes me sad to cause people to be so angry at me and I don't even know why.   

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Why Do We Survive?

I am about to go to bed and I thought that I would write what was on my mind.  I keep wondering why we survive.  I have had some very bad things happen to me in my life.  I suffered severe neglect and was a victim of terrible torture at the hands of my step-father.  I have always taken it with a grain of salt as an adult, just passing it off as,"what happens, happens. That which does not kill us makes us stronger."  I have always believed in that saying and have quoted it many times as an adult.  The problem is what really is the source or beginning of my C-PTSD really is about surviving being smothered.  I had it happen to me more than once, two people were responsible for it.  I know that I survived incest from these same two people also.  But why now? Why is it so bothersome to me today?  It is so on my mind that I have had to increase the medicine I usually take because I am having such a tough time getting through the afternoons. I cannot go to sleep without it and I am going to sleep before it gets dark because I am so afraid.  I am back to sleeping in the closet where it feels safe.

Do you think that just because I was one of those children that didn't die before the age of five, that I am meant to do something?  I know lots of children don't make it through to adulthood, for Christ's sake I am not sure how we make through childhood.  The funny thing is we do.  Why?  What could saying what I had suffered from now make a difference in today's society or world. And for whom?  

I am troubled by this because it seems I am not the only one that knows.  I think that this troubles me even more. I am bothered that we fight so to live to be treated so terribly by our family and friends.  I know that my mother talks to much but I really did not feel that this would be something that would end up being common knowledge. I feel strangely odd and I don't like knowing that the people that had been close to me in my life know that this happened to me because it has been extremely traumatizing my entire life.  I had to have survived for some reason, it can't just be happenstance, can it?

I cannot imagine that we come all of this way to be worried about our weight, worried about what other people think about us and all we are meant to be concentrating on is what makes us happy.  I know that the advice is to put things down and try to live your life.  The thing is I have been living my life, I just have never shared my darkest fears before.  So up to recently I have been rather silent on this accord.  But the more it is pushed upon me to put everything down, the more my mind relates back to these very awful incidents.  I walked with death and I never knew how to explain to anyone what happened to me.  I am still not sure how to explain an "out of body" experience that I has as a kid. I was afraid that if I did talk abou it that I would be beaten and worse.  Even though I never spoke on these accounts, at least that is my recollection, I was still called the spawn of Satan and told I was full of demons the entire time I grew-up and on into being an adult.  This in itself was very taxing on my own psyche, let alone it is not something that you ever share with anyone.

The uncomfortable feeling I am having these days is that I feel my family knows of these very disturbing times. Like they are privy to me being suffocated. The more I think about it, it would make sense because I was a very small girl.  I do remember lots of yelling and screaming.  I remember not wanting to talk anymore about anything and I remember my father leaving, then my brother leaving, then my older sister leaving, none of them ever returned.  I was left with my mother, the cult whore, my step-father, the nanny S&M bastard, my two younger "perfect" siblings and that was it.  Basically I knew no one anymore.  My entire life in a very short time was completely replaced by new human beings that hated me.  I felt a lot like Cinderella, in fact, I was made to do all of the things that you would do or would be expected of that sort of position in the family.  You are lower than the dogs and you are an embarrassment that they seem to have to explain.

I don't speak on my mother being anyone I readily knew because I really don't know her at all.  I, of course know of her in the family dynamics but as far as a relationship or close family bond, that never did happen for me.  At the same time they replaced old friends with no friends, changed my school and moved me to a new neighborhood in San Francisco.  I would say that this was all disorientating but truthfully it was not.  I was more disturbed by being suffocated by a plastic bag and my brothers hands and  I was really afraid that it would happen again. In fact when I was sixteen my brother moved home for a short amount of time.  During which he held a gun to my head and played Russian roulette with live ammunition. This was really terrifying stuff. I ended up with no friends that I knew and there were no children in the neighborhood that we moved too.  All I know is that now I think of my father and he puts more fear in my heart than my brother.  It seems that this wanting to kill someone runs in the family.  I must say I don't feel very related to that side of them family at all.  In fact I never really have felt like my Dad is meant to be my Dad.  It doesn't help that every time we visited my Grandparents that Nana would ask my mother, "Who does she belong to? She doesn't look like the other two."  

I would say to you in all earnest that my family thinks that I am an idiot and that I don't remember everything that has happened to me.  That is a lot like asking you if you remember or don't remember Nursery School, 1st grade, 2nd grade, your first tricycle, going to the Zoo, etc.  Of course you have early childhood memories, why wouldn't you?  The difference my mind has been on record for sometime and now through flashbacks and what seems to be held inside of my body, (Memories,) it is all coming back with greater clarity.  It is not as if I have ever forgotten being smothered, I just never knew what to say or how because I kept being beaten left and right by my now step- in, step-father who used to be some guy who took us out on excursions.  We went to Playland, the beach and other like places.  So if I can remember the slides at Playland that burned the crap out of you if you did not sit on the gunny sack, why would I not remember my home life?  That is impossible to have happened.  I remember laughing Sal, the other nightmare of my life, I hated her.  It was like somebody knowing my little life, rocking back and forth just laughing at me personally.  I am 46 years old, so you can do the time line yourself with Playland and its closing date of Labor Day Weekend, 1972.  I am not off in the ability to remember what is real and what is not.

I hate that this is real in my life. I hate my father and my brother for doing this to me. I hate my sister for poisoning me with stuff from under the kitchen sink. I hate that I have had to hold this inside for so long. I hate my mother for never attending to my well-being or even acknowledging I was alive, leaving me to the care of my older siblings.  I hate my step-father for lying all this time to my younger siblings about his entry into this sick family.  I hate that two and a half years ago, my step-father put his arm around my neck and tried to break it as he dragged me around the dining room landing on the floor.  I hate my younger sister for telling me to take a gun and blow my head off because it would be the best thing for the family.  I hate that nobody is even upset that she said to me and I hate that no one knows the power that words can have on you. To tell me to do such a thing should shock you.  But it doesn't and I hate that you do not think it is that bad to have said.  I hope for your sake you never meet a malignant narcissist that says something like that to you.  I hate that nobody has ever helped me get through anything.  I hate that my mother is still spreading lies about me being a drug addict and incapable of caring for my two youngest children.  I hate that people gossip about my life and they have not been privy to my life at all in the past two years and certainly were never privy to what I am writing on here today.  I have never named them like I have in today's blog.  I hate that they are believed off the cuff and I hate that when you discover they are as wicked as they are, that you turn and run for the hills.

I hate that people in general do not find out the story of a person before the spread mean and defaming rumors about their life.  I would love to have my children in my life today but I have run out money to go back and forth to court with my ex-husband who seems to be financed by my mother.  I would love to be able to tell them, I love you in person, but nobody ever answers the phone or returns my letters or emails.  So, when you are all alone and you finally give-up and begin telling these very dark secrets about your past, maybe a stranger will step up to the plate and help you to do the next right thing.  Press charges in court for defamation of character, the last legal reprisal that I have against my family.  

To still feel the sweat of my brothers hand or the clinging bag on my face is surreal.  The fact that I remember my father slapping plastic bags out of the air and saying, "Don't ever put this over your head you will suffocate and die," sickens me.  My family has tortured me my entire existence, its now becoming the time to switch the roles around.  The torture is not mine, the memories are mine and as they refuse to allow all of these things to go by the wayside, I refuse to step aside but rather continue the vigil of the exposure of real, live monsters that probably live next door you and yours.

I think that we may survive to tell our stories.  We might survive to do what others cannot because they have been taken so early in life.  We survive not to live our lives in peace, that is quite impossible until you tell your story. I feel better as I spill the truth but I fear it must also be heard by somebody. I think that is why we survive, we need somebody to know that we existed and fought so hard just to take another breath of air.  

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Don't Ask, Don't Tell

How young do you need?

Before you heed?

Stop yourself,

and take a knee?

Memories are not all mine.

Advertise and I find,

Men of old, Men of time.

Are you disgraced?

Or are you fine?

My mind goes where you have been.

Don't tell me that you are thin.

I don't care you are old.

I remember your dick,

it did not unfold.

All the moments of why I'm sold.

I listen to the ghosts,

echoing the voice of yours.

I had no choice.

Did you accidentally come across?

What is not an actual loss?

Is it not better to scream?

Maybe we both can find...

Redeem!!

I was a child of no noise.

You were men with money to pay.

Photographs complicate denial.

Don't you wish you knew for sure?

I do, don't ask, don't tell.

Remember that?

Friday, July 4, 2014

James Blunt: 'It's not a dirty word to be posh' ~ The Telegraph By Nigel Farndale12:01AM BST 28 Sep 2008

It could be the homes around the world; his military bearing; or that he's our biggest musical export since Elton. For whatever reason, being called annoying, a philanderer or - worse - middle class doesn't exactly keep James Hillier Blount awake at night. Nigel Farndale met him

It's not the sight of the groupies that haunts me, but the sound, or rather the absence of sound, as they ghost past us on their way up the stairs to the dressing-room. It takes me a moment to figure out that the reason they aren't talking to each other is that they don't know each other. One of the band members, the keyboard player, I think, has picked them from the audience on the basis of their looks. Half-a-dozen of them, all in their late teens and early twenties, and all, surprisingly, in pretty frocks, as if they were going to a Sunday school meeting. They have been separated from their friends like lambs weaned from their mothers. The silence of the lambs.

The 'us' they are filing past is James Blunt and me. He has a bottle of beer in one hand, a cigarette in the other, and not a hair in place - tousled just so, like a Renaissance painting of John the Baptist - but they don't realise it's him because he has changed out of the suit he was wearing on stage and is now in jeans, T-shirt and leather jacket, as well as a pink feather boa and star-shaped novelty sunglasses. But I'm getting ahead of myself. This is the end of the day; we need to go back to the start, well, to the middle, when the seats are empty and the Texan sun is at its most unforgiving.

A barefoot and unshaven Blunt is wearing normal sunglasses and shorts as he plays his piano, strums his guitar and sings his plaintive songs into the microphone for the sound check, all the while looking out with his soulful eyes over an empty, open-air arena in Houston. At 5ft 7in, he's not a tall man, but he has presence and an unaffected manner - a certain maturity, too, one that you wouldn't normally associate with a pop star in the ascendant.

But then he is 34 and this is his second career, his first being as an officer in the Household Cavalry. He joined after graduating from Bristol University with a degree in sociology. He became a champion skier for the Army and not only saw active service in Kosovo, but also guarded the Queen Mother's coffin when she was lying in state.

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Tonight he will be supporting Sheryl Crow, though, since his second album 'All the Lost Souls' and the single from it, '1973', went straight to number one in America, he is arguably the bigger act these days. Indeed, not since Elton John has there been a more successful British singer-songwriter in the States.

His first album, 'Back to Bedlam', also went to number one over here, as it did in 18 other countries, making it the biggest-selling album of the millennium. It even entered the Guinness Book of Records as the fastest-selling album in one year. But it was his first single that really put him on the map. You're Beautiful became the sound of that summer. It was everywhere, and still is - having become a favourite at weddings, funerals and bar mitzvahs. I even heard a brass band playing it at an agricultural show in the Yorkshire Dales this summer.

As well as millions of sales, James Blunt has won Brit awards, Ivor Novello awards, MTV awards and various Grammy nominations. In terms of credibility, he's headlined at Glastonbury and won the respect of the world-weary music press. Yet not everyone loves him, as he points out when we get something to eat in the canteen area back stage.

'After Back to Bedlam really started selling,' he says, 'there was this sudden aggression towards me in the UK, for whatever reason, and that focused my mind, made it clear to me what I was doing and why I wanted to do it. I write songs for myself. I don't write them for you, or for anyone else, I write them because I have experiences that I need to process. I don't have the answers all the time, but I do have lots of questions, and I express them in the songs I write.'

He is, I think, alluding to a poll last year of 'the most annoying things in life', which put him at number four, just behind cold-callers and queue-jumpers. 'I haven't met anyone who voted in the poll, have you?' he says when I mention this. 'That poll probably came from a website that was after some publicity. You and I could do the same poll very quickly right now and it would count as a poll. We could do one about annoying newspapers, for example. I promise the Sunday Telegraph wouldn't be in my list. My parents take it.'

His father, a retired colonel in the Army Air Corps, manages his son's finances. His mother arranged the purchase of his six-bedroom villa in Ibiza (he also has a chalet in Verbier and recently bought a place in Chelsea). 'I'm not married,' he says, 'and so the support structure in my life is my parents. I'm closer to them now than I have ever been.'

He certainly isn't married, as the photographs of him emerging from nightclubs with various high-profile women on his arm attest. Tara Palmer-Tomkinson was probably the best known socialite, Jessica Sutta, of the Pussycat Dolls, the most glamorous. He also seems to be photographed regularly cavorting on beaches with bikini-clad models such as Petra Nemcova, whom he dated and then dumped - unceremonious dumping being his way of ending relationships, according to the tabloids. He once said he found himself in a swimming pool in LA with nine naked women. 'I was the only bloke. It was the only time I wished my mates were there, purely to spectate. I had arrived. It was a moment.'

Now he says of the tabloid interest in his peripatetic love life: 'Last week I went to my home in Ibiza and was photographed by the paparazzi in my swimming trunks with girls. What is the point of that? I'm not that bothered, but maybe the media should be concentrating more on global warming or the Russian invasion of Georgia.

'Looking at me in my swimming trunks is not a great sight. It's a waste of time. There generally is a long lens pointing at me wherever I go, these days. I'm comfortable with it. I appreciate how things work. But my record label said something about my always being photographed coming out of nightclubs and I thought, "But this is what I do. I was doing it before the second album came out, so what is different now? You didn't tell me to stop then." I'm not going to change my life because of these people. I don't see why I should.'

His label also gets him to dye his grey hairs and be enigmatic about his love life, which is an old tactic dating back to the Beatles - they had to pretend they didn't have wives and girlfriends so that fans could fantasise they were in with a chance.

Actually, at the time of going to press, Blunt seems to be going out again with one of his old flames, Verity Evetts, an Oxford-educated barrister. He has also stayed friendly with some of his other exes, the socialites at least. He told one - an ex who got married not long ago - that he doesn't feel 'centred' at the moment and would like to get married as well. Then again, he also said that he never tires of singing You're Beautiful night after night because it gets him laid night after night.

Either way, he tells me he has grown used to the idea that his mother will probably find out from the papers what he has been up to, and with whom, before he has had a chance to tell her. 'And my [two] sisters are quick to email me about things in the papers, laughing their heads off. I get healthy, ritual abuse from them, and give it back myself.'

As we are talking, I can't decide whether the way Blunt smiles all the time is disarming or disturbing. He's like a victim of a religious cult, smiling at the beginning of the sentence and at the end. I guess he has a lot to smile about, but also I sense a great deal of insecurity to disguise.

Then, I'm distracted by the sight of Sheryl Crow playing table tennis across the room. She has been holding her adopted son in one arm as she bats with the other, and now, even more distractingly, she is heading straight for us. 'Are we going to have one of our little conversations on stage again tonight, James?' she says. 'That flirting thing. I think it worked well last night.'

They discuss the duet they will sing - a cover of Cat Stevens's The First Cut is the Deepest - then we both watch her shimmy away, her blonde curls bobbing. 'She's very down to earth,' he says. 'I'd met her a couple of times, which was why she asked me on this tour. We do end up playing a lot of table tennis on the road. We've done 117 shows so far this year, in 117 cities, and there are a lot of hours to fill in the day.'

As he sleeps on his tour bus with his band, one city tends to blur into another. When I joke that he is in Cincinnati now, he looks genuinely confused. 'No, this is?… Oh, right. Actually, I always get the tour manager to say where we are just as I'm going on stage. I still managed to get it wrong the other night, saying "Hello Dallas" when I meant Austin. I'm surprised I got out alive.'

He is funny on the subjects of things that go wrong. 'People are normally surprised by my show, which is more energetic than you might think. Jumping on the piano. Jumping out into the audience and running up and down the aisle high-fiving them. But going off the stage can be quite dangerous. I broke my finger once. My legs carried on when I jumped off, and I smacked down on the ground. The spotlight was on me, and when I got back to the piano I hit the wrong note and thought, "Why did I do that?" And I looked down and saw it was because my finger was broken, sticking out an angle. Look,' he says holding it up. 'It's still crooked.'

On another occasion, in Chicago, he jumped 8ft off the stage. 'When I began running to the audience, a security guard stuck his arm out and I thought, "Does he want a hug?" Then next thing I know he's rugby-tackled me. He wouldn't release me and I was screaming in his ear, "I'm the f---ing singer." I had to wait for the other guards to pull him off.'

I would have thought Blunt's training in unarmed combat would have helped. I presume he still works out. 'No, never. Couldn't handle it. Too boring. I am a hyperactive person though.' He likes an adrenaline rush, as well, having recently bought an 1100cc Moto Guzzi V11 Sport motorbike. There's also the skiing, which he still does, and the riding. Actually, he tells me, he never really liked horses before joining the Life Guards. So why did he join that particular regiment?

'Well, it is a reconnaissance regiment.' But they are all so tall in the Life Guards, did that not make him self-conscious? 'Some are. The Foot Guards tend to be taller regiments, though. The Life Guards take a few shrimps, as well. Besides, they are on horses, so height isn't so important. Also being in that regiment had the benefit of being in Knightsbridge. I got a chance to be in London and meet people in the music scene.' And groupies, as it happens.

As he paraded up and down the Mall in plumed helmet and shiny breastplate, girls would stick their phone numbers down his knee-length boots. But it was his time in Kosovo that really made girls swoon. He used to strap his guitar to the outside of his tank, because there wasn't room for it inside. He had learnt to play the violin at five, the piano at seven and the guitar at 14, while a pupil at Harrow.

He writes his songs on piano and guitar. 'But mainly guitar because it is easier to carry around. It's like a child messing around with a toy. If a tune comes to me I don't record it instantly. I think if I remember it, then it must be worth remembering, and if I forget it, then it was forgettable.'

Does he have any anxiety dreams about forgetting lines or chords? 'Not yet. Perhaps I will tonight. Perhaps you've jinxed me. But audiences aren't judgmental, and if things go wrong and you can look them in the eye, that is fine. The only people who are judgmental are the journalists. I will be conscious of you being there in the audience judging me.'

Blimey. Sorry about that. Is it true he signs breasts? 'Not that I remember. Not that I'm fussy what I sign. A lot of men started coming to the shows after I appeared on Top Gear last year. That was such fun. I spun the car five times. I thought I might as well make the most of it. I am competitive.'

He recorded one of the fastest laps, but I'm surprised blokes didn't think him manly before that, given his tour of duty in Kosovo. 'It's because I sing songs that are heart-on-your-sleeve and therefore I must be overly emotional. Nothing I can do about it. I could pose more, but I am comfortable with my masculinity.'

He has said that his lyrics are autobiographical, in which case, are we to assume that the lyric on his new album, 'I killed a man in a far away land', means he killed a man in a far away land? I only ask because in the past he has said that he would never try to exploit what he went through, what he saw. 'You should ask any soldier how many lives he has saved. How they do it is no one else's business. What I took from my experience in Kosovo is that you are told from one day to the next who your enemy is and it keeps changing. That's what is happening in Iraq, too. I believe in looking people in the eye, looking for the common humanity.'

He is a great believer in looking people in the eye. He will use the phrase again later and it seems to reveal a Christ complex, or a John the Baptist one. That direct and challenging stare of his. It would also explain the hair.

It is time for him do some photographs before he goes on stage and, endearingly, he says he is 'not fussed' about the grooming he is offered before they are taken.

On stage his features contort with passion when he sings. The big video screen goes in tight on his face. His voice is by turns soft and tremulous and forceful, but always high. Having seen him in concert once before, a couple of years ago, I notice the tone of his banter has changed.

'Wow it's hot tonight,' he says now. 'I'm surprised any of you are wearing any clothes. We could all take them off and get friendly.' It is suggestive, designed to get the teenage girls in the audience screaming. Before he used to joke about his 'girlie voice' and taking helium to get it that way, and being 'a bit wet' and the 'housewives' favourite'. I think now he has realised that, actually, he is a proper musician, a popular one, too, and that he doesn't need to apologise for it.

Afterwards, back in the dressing-room, he strips to the waist as he talks because he wants to take a shower before going back on to do his duet with Sheryl Crow. 'Things got a bit hairy out there when I jumped into the crowd,' he says. 'Did you see that? Some thought it was some kind of sport to grab me.'

I watch his duet from the side of the stage and notice he whispers something in Sheryl Crow's ear and then she starts running her hands over his trousers suggestively, patting them. Afterwards, I ask what he said. '"Is now a good time to ask for your phone number?" She was checking my pockets, pretending to look for a pen.'

He shows me round the gold-coloured tour bus where he will be sleeping tonight as they drive to their next gig in Dallas. It is full of hi-tech equipment and is nicely air-conditioned but there isn't much space in the bunks. 'We do live in close proximity,' he says. 'Some of us stay up late. This is the crew end, they have to get up early.'

Where do the groupies go? 'Never have groupies on here. Never. They'd only get in if we invited them in. But we'd only ever invite friends in.'

Does he sleep OK? I heard he has to take sleeping pills. 'It is a bit of a rough sleep, but better than a hotel and taking planes all the time because you have to get to the airport two hours early, which is miserable. Then your flight gets delayed.'

He is drinking champagne from a plastic cup. 'This is for your benefit,' he says. 'The tour management went out and bought a bottle of champagne because he thought I should be seen drinking it. Better for my image. Isn't that sweet? Normally, we drink vodka and beer. In fact, I think I'd rather have a beer, now. Want one?' He opens a well-stocked fridge then takes me to the back of the bus where there is some seating space. He has one small case which he pulls out from a cupboard. It continues a few pairs of socks, T-shirts and a spare pair of jeans. No photographs or mementos. 'This is all I have for 14 months on the road,' he says. 'I'm not known for style.'

Does he know how much he is worth? 'No I don't, not very interested in it to be honest. I travel with hand luggage only. That is why I always seem to be wearing the same clothes in photographs. If a tabloid says my clothes aren't fashionable or my hair looks stupid, I really don't worry about it. Don't have any hair gel.'

In London, he takes the Tube or the bus. He prefers pubs to restaurants. When he goes to Ibiza, he flies easyJet. Still, that's at home. Presumably on the road he can afford to be more self-indulgent.

Another lyric that we can only assume is autobiographical is 'I've taken a s---load of drugs'. It is. Though his only comment on the subject is that he has 'a comfortable relationship with drugs'. His relationship with fame is less comfortable. Oscar Wilde said there were two forms of tragedy: not getting what you want, and getting it. Is that how it felt for him when he went to number one? 'Actually, I don't think I had been dreaming about it. Certainly, I hadn't anticipated being so recognisable so quickly.

'I do remember getting a phone call from the record company, who said both the single and the album have gone to number one, and thinking, "S---, this is not what I expected." I hadn't prepared myself for it. Number two is great. Number two is nice. I sensed then it would mean having to change from being a musician to being a celebrity and that that would be a change for the worse. Fame doesn't affect me, but it does affect everyone else around me. As for celebrity, it is the worst invention of the modern world. Gossip columns treat your life as if it were a cartoon. Relationships reduced to cartoons.'

Although there are other public-school bands around at the moment - Radiohead, Coldplay - Blunt seems to have suffered more than most from a perception that he is too posh to be credible. His family name is Blount (and his middle name Hillier), but he changed it to Blunt to sound, well, blunter and more proletarian.

When he tells me he would nevertheless still send a son of his to Harrow - 'I think I would. I think I would. Public schools make individuals rather than sheep' - I ask what he makes of the mood change now that the old Etonian David Cameron has made it OK to be posh. 'Is it? I must come back to Britain immediately. Is it really safe to come back?

'It's not a dirty word to be posh, people come up to me and no one gives a damn if I'm posh. It's about having a normal conversation and looking people in the eye.'

We head back to the dressing-room where he puts on his feather boa and novelty sunglasses then we wander back downstairs to have a word with Sheryl Crow, who is signing autographs. This is the moment at which the keyboard player says: 'This way to the good-time room girls' and the silent groupies dutifully appear.

• James Blunt World Tour Moon Landing Flops in the United States of America ;www.jamesblunt.com

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Speaking of Death, don't go into the Light!!

I write from within the heat of my core,

it comes from beneath the need to know more.

I concentrate on, not how to be the best; 

But how to know what is the best thing to do?

I come from a place that you may have been,

 or heard of in,

 a percent of your brain,

 that causes you terror and ruins your where?

For it is in fear of the unknown you grasp,

 to the days that you will know last.

Of what life you have left, you cause such displeasure.

Your heritage lies,

 reducement of your mind, 

for 8 to 10 percent is all, that ain't mine.

We need not what you think that you can do in a blink. 

We need not you to even do.

The interruption of thought on this place called Earth, 

causes nothing but violence and death to occur.

The deeper you sink within your define, 

the more you resolve your account is not kind.

The Sin Board doth count, no rest will it take.

For in what you do, 

you have found a bill or two,

and what is due is so large and "You knew."

It is in your own death, 

that you find your not owed, 

but payment is taken from you it's your makin'.

There is not a place that is free without noise.

The work that you do is worse than you new.

Where sleep is not had,

 and food is not known,

 it is only your soul that could ever be owned!

Due you owe it to one of your kind, 

or has it been taken by cruelty or time.

I can't count the times that I have seen,

the words that are spoken are often so mean.

You speak with your mind, protected by skull,

but what if your thoughts were all known and you're bull?

The demons they speak, the spirits doth know,

Satan, said Lucifer is enjoying this show.

The waiting is anxious, the hour draws near,

for it is only the taking that is over do and we're here.

You humans don't need the horrors of Hell now,

you eat one another with words like a sow.

The threats and the voices that Christians do say,

if you do not donate, they will die on someday.

Watch it so carefully and tell me a show,

that doesn't ask for money or tell you to go,

deep within side of yourself they do claim, 

without your support the word must compel.

So, why do you fear what says nothing at all,

for all of these words pour on there feet,

 men up and they scream that they are still here.

It is strange that you fear what a Man has told you,

but you won't respect a Dark Lord when he's near.

For not my mistake and I will not take, 

from people who need to know what is rape.

Rape of the mind, from whom I do speak,

comes from the mouths of the manipulators and creeps.

They call Human Beings to give them your wealth,

give them your last coin and do it with stealth.

The lies that are told by people who come back,

from the dead and say "It's a miracle, today."

They spread just like locusts, it's a shame, it's so fast.

There words are like food and eaten so fast.

Go into the what? Why would I do that?

If it is so right to go into the light,

then why are you back?

I don't trust you, I don't trust that,

for your information, is mistaken, it's smack.

At least James Blunt doesn't do that.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Flip, Flopping

My step-father would tell me as I was growing-up that repressed memory syndrome would not hold up in court.  This went on until I cut off all contact with them a few years ago.  I never said anything at all during my life.   When he said this to me  I would take pause and think to myself, why?  Why does he insist on doing this to me?  Why must we have these dreaded encounters that only include the grilling questions of what I remember as a child?  What do they continue to cover up that has them this obsessed with my life?  In actuality when did I ever have the opportunity to forget and even get repressed memory whatever its called? Simultaneously as the grilling questions of the countless encounters I would be slammed to the ground for the sake of impact? And to be told repeatedly that with nothing that I  remember would hold up in a court of law and anything that I remember is a down right lie about my mother and him anyway.   Where do they think that this would eventually leave me?

I would love to tell you that this ended at 18 when I ran away, but no, from the advice of all the normal people in the world, I was told that I should not hold my parents accountable but should readily forgive them of any indiscretions that may have happened growing-up.  So I have stayed in touch with them never spilling the beans for years. In fact, I never said anything, I mean why bother, suppressed memory syndrome will not hold up in court and anything I do say would be just a lie anyway.  Did I say that already? I seemed to have been able to get that one down very well.  Do you know that I cannot tell you how many times he said that to me during my life.  Do you know how hard I have tried to let it all go because of how lopsided it all has been.  There are more of them then me.  All of society encourages you to "let it go," "get over it," "don't talk about it," "its depressing, I don't want to know," "nobody cares it was years ago, so what, you got raped, get a grip," these are the things that I have been told in the past two years.  Trust me on this one simple fact, I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER or DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS EITHER !  But nobody in my life will let it go, so here I am, telling you my story because I need to find peace of mind.  I no longer care about what anybody else thinks, believe me or don't believe me, it makes no difference to me because it never did cross my mind that I would not be believed.  All you have to do is meet these people and the proof is in the pudding.  I never did talk about it because I am horribly embarrassed by my family and there lack of sexual control.  Hiding your actions is so important, I mean God forbid someone found out that you married a woman 14 years older so you could rape her three children, that had already been raped by the deserting father, or so it seemed.  My step-father to this day is undoing all the things he has ever done to me.  He told me two and a half years ago over a civilized lunch, you know where we "let it all go and get over things," the advice you hear given to anyone who stands against incest, rape, molestation, suffocation, being snuffed, beatings, shall I go on?  Back to the civilized lunch, that my step-father still feels compelled to tell me that he never beat me, nor did he ever lay a hand on me, which that part was true, it was usually his arm around my neck choking me, not his hand around my throat.  I think that may have been my brother.  My step-father always used his belt, never his hand to hit me. I think they called it a spanking not a beating. Spare the rod, spoil the child, if I remember correctly.  I would venture to go out on a limb and say that 30-40 licks with a belt might qualify as a beating.  Welts that took weeks to go down seemed a little more like what one would refer to as a beating not a spanking.  Oh, and lets not forget where he lost control and the buckle drove itself into my skin.  

So what do you say when people just don't understand that you are compelled to bring justice into your life?  Do you say, "shut the fuck up, I am doing this for myself and my own peace of mind because I am sick of the bombardment on my life from these same people today."  Do you say, "Gosh, my kids are there and I cannot do anything about it because I was so stupid so long ago and took all the advice I was given about forgiveness and now my children are suffering at the hands of these monsters?"  Oh wait, they will come up with, "You could go to court and do something if its that bad and if its true?"  I would say to them they are so completely right but the problem is that I never dealt with the trauma myself and I ran out of money trying to uphold the visitation agreement with my ex-husband, it was then he started to take them to be with my mother.  The same mother that will tell you, confession by my second daughter, that she can say that her Grandmother my mother, still to this day or I guess it was a few years now, but just the same, that my says that I am full of demons, that I am possessed and that I am the spawn of Satan, all per my second daughters experience at my mothers home a few years back.  Do you think that that is a healthy environment?  Of course, since nobody would talk or tell you if they were put under scrutiny that this was happening, there is no way to prove it so there for its not happening and I made it up.  All accept for the fact that my two oldest daughters must be interviewed also and then you would find out that they have nothing to do with my mother or family for these reasons.  So now I have to deal with the horror, the fear, the fright, the flashbacks and the reality that I ran as fast as could to get away from what was causing me so much pain and agony at eighteen years old.  Its like playing catch-up, I can't wage a war unless I am fit to war.

I know what my life's calling is. I have been aware of it since I was young, yet nobody supports a life that calls you into the limelight to tell on others. For those of you that are unaware of the ramafications of such actions, you become a traitor to the family.  Not a good thing to do usually, especially when so much is at stake.  You see abuse runs in families, family's like mine. But my mother had a church, that was a cult, so does it not come to light that it would run in the congregation too?  You have incest, molestation, pedophilia, religious abuse, neglect of a severe nature and you have all that I have written up to now on this blog to guide your way through to here. It is a lot of stuff, to much for most to even bother themselves to acknowledge that there is a problem anywhere, let alone right here in front of them.  Most turn their backs because the reality of bringing to light such a case is embarrassing for everyone around, so its better to bury it. The burial has been going for as long as I can remember.  Some people that were directly involved have run off to different corners of the world and believe that if they live there life from there on forward differently, than they will  never get caught for there involvement in such horrific acts.  The upper class don't want to dirty there hands in it because they donated money to the non-profit that my family runs.  Such dismissal on there part is nothing more than killing the story before it can be told.  It is sad to think that all of this runs in the blood of the children that grow up to repeat the entire process of neglect and sexual abuse again.  This just runs from generation to generation, just like it did with my father and then my brother.  For some reason my step-father believes he cannot be held accountable for anything.  As long as he has plausible deniability than not a court in the land can prosecute him. He is correct.  For all of these years and for all the pain-staking hours that I have spent under their scrutiny to see if I remember and to say that they did nothing is all to there benefit.  Not a court in the land will find them guilty of anything, for they have done nothing wrong as far as they are concerned.  They never manipulated or fornicated with church members or with children, they are free and clear, because they said that they are not guilty and cannot ever be held accountable based on repressed memory syndrome.  Aren't you pleased?  Don't you now find that you can breathe easier knowing that they cannot be held accountable by any court of law?  I know that I find great relief in knowing that they were stupid enough to have said this to me so many times that I can now tell you, there is no way in Hell I could have forgotten anything.  I was never given the opportunity to have suppressed memories when all they did was remind me every day that nobody would ever believe me.

I have spent years trying to decide if I should follow my life and the direction of which it calls me.  I have puzzled through many times trying to decide if it would be worth it to stand independently and alone against these monsters.  I have spent hours in quiet solitude trying to rationalize my silence as I watched them continue there abuse on my life.  I agonized over telling anyone the truth of the horrors which I just happen to have survived.  I silenced myself when I decided that the world was not interested in child abuse, neglect, incest or molestation in the eighties when I came of age.  I decided if the world could not raise an eyebrow to this, then how on earth would I tell anyone of what was worse, trying to survive your own death?  Certainly nobody would believe me, let alone be interested as to why I had to fight so hard just to live.  It all makes sense when you put it all together.  You see they were trying to kill me because they had fucked me and I was a baby, the youngest in the household, I was a child, I had no defenses, oh yea, and I made them feel guilty when they looked at me, like I don't know that or I have never been aware.  They hate me, I don't know a different way to put it, other than to tell you that I don't remember my family not hating me. How then could I ever grow-up to inform anyone of such abuse without having to tell the horrors of my survival of having a plastic bag put over my head to have my life taken from me.  Who would believe me? Who could I tell?  I had tried to tell an Elementary School Principle once. They immediately called my parents and had a good laugh about me making things up and confusing real life with nightmares.  Of course, my wonderful and caring parents failed to mention to the principle at the time that I had been taken to a shrink at three years old because I stopped talking to anyone at all.  Do you think that would have made the difference for me?  Do you know how badly beaten I was by my step-father for talking?  So, badly that I never spoke again, until now and I still shake with fear of reprisal.  Have you ever feared anything that has caused you to silence yourself for forty some years?  Are you so out of touch with what I am saying that all you can do is to read and double click away, saying, "That can't have happened."  Or do you feel compelled to tell me to "Get over it?"  I am curious, because today my truth is your nightmare.

Abuse runs a course in a family. It is perpetuated by the silence of the abused and the abusers for obvious reasons.  Unless people begin to realize that it is a voice like mine with an incredible and unbelievable story that can be proved just by introducing yourself to my family members and coming to your own conclusions.  You need to go and say hello to my mother, to my step-father, to my siblings, to my father, ask the tough questions, watch there faces and listen to there reactions.  Know that it is in your court, not mine, I volley and say to you, I would not go to a court of law for justice in this matter if you payed me to attend.  Justice in my life comes from the truth that I write to you.  You see, you are in danger, not I .  I have survived the abuse, neglect and torture but the perpetrators are still active and remember this all runs its course by the abused becoming abusers.  Now you can be scared and wonder, "Do they live next door to me?"  That is the question you need to ask yourself today.  I cannot stop them, nobody will listen to me, but I bet today you will.  I am not on the line anymore.  I have no desire to sue these people for the rampage they have done to my life.  They believe that its all about money for me, its not, it is about the truth being told and holding accountable the liars that have stolen so much from so many people in my life. The only reason I am doing this is to finally tell the truth about my fears, my anxieties, my nightmares and to ensure that in my family, with my children that this ugliness of abusive neglect and sexual promiscuity does not perpetuate itself.  The buck stops here with this one.  I stand in defense of no one, but I stand in the honor of myself to say to you  and to the world that I am not an abuser but I come from abusers that nobody is interested in stopping, all because I have to prove it.   I don't need to prove that two people committed suicide, that trust funds have been lost, that wills have been changed, the proof is not needed by me, I experienced it all live.  I am telling you in all honesty and with fervor, I have to prove nothing because I wear the pain and agony of what they have done to my life everyday.  I live the nightmare, it is my life, regardless of how sad you may find to be, I know no other way.  I was born into this life, I fight for what I believe is right.  It is wrong to do what they have done to me but that is for me to deal with and live through each day, not you.

I do not need a scape-goat, nor do I need to find blame for any of this that has happened.  The blame lies in the laps of the people that have done these things to me.  No proof is needed, it is as easy to see as it is to see the hurt and devastation on me.  But this is not mine to carry anymore, I testify to my own life and my endeavor to follow my calling in continuing to hold a vigil for myself, my survival and my truth to help the fallen.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Back Too Basic Or Forward Writes ~ James Blunt Wares Tights ~ Mind Skirts Surfs Gropes ~ To the Crowds of Skype!!

High
Beautiful dawn - lights up the shore for me. There is nothing else in the world, I'd rather wake up and see (with you). Beautiful dawn - I'm just chasing time again. Thought I would die a lonely man, in endless night. But now I'm high; running wild among all the stars above. Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me. Beautiful dawn - melt with the stars again. Do you remember the day when my journey began? Will you remember the end (of time)? Beautiful dawn - You're just blowing my mind again. Thought I was born to endless night, until you shine. High; running wild among all the stars above. Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me. Will you be my shoulder when I'm grey and older? Promise me tomorrow starts with you, Getting high; running wild among all the stars above. Sometimes it's hard to believe you remember me

You're Beautiful
My life is brilliant. My life is brilliant, My love is pure. I saw an angel, Of that I'm sure. She smiled at me on the subway, She was with another man, But I won't lose no sleep on that, 'Cause I've got a plan. You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, It's true. I saw your face, In a crowded place. And I don't know what to do. 'Cause I'll never be with you. Yeah, she caught my eye, As we walked on by. She could see from my face that I was, Fucking high. And I don't think that I'll see her again, But we shared a moment that will last to the end. You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, It's true. I saw your face, In a crowded place. And I don't know what to do, 'Cause I'll never be with you. You're beautiful, You're beautiful, You're beautiful, It's true. There must be an angel, With a smile on her face. When she thought up that I should be with you. But it's time to face the truth, I will never be with you.

Wisemen
She said to me, "Go steady on me. Won't you tell me what the Wise Men said? When they came down from Heaven, Smoked nine 'til seven, All the shit that they could find, But they couldn't escape from you, Couldn't be free of you, And now they know there's no way out, And they're really sorry now for what they've done, They were three Wise Men just trying to have some fun." Look who's alone now, It's not me. It's not me. Those three Wise Men, They've got a semi by the sea. Got to ask yourself the question, Where are you now? Really sorry now, They weren't to know. They got caught up in your talent show, With you pernickety little bastards in your fancy dress, Who just judge each other and try to impress, But they couldn't escape from you, Couldn't be free of you, And now they know there's no way out, And they're really sorry now for what they've done, They were three Wise Men just trying to have some fun. Look who's alone now, It's not me. It's not me. Those three Wise Men, They've got a semi by the sea. Got to ask yourself the question, Where are you now?

Goodbye My Lover
Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won. So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care. You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, My heart was blinded by you. I've kissed your lips and held your head. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I am a dreamer but when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bear my soul in time, When I'm kneeling at your feet. Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me. I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Tears and Rain
How I wish I could surrender my soul; Shed the clothes that become my skin; See the liar that burns within my needing. How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold. How I wish I had screamed out loud, Instead I've found no meaning. I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain, All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble. Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray. I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble. It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain. How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind; Hold memory close at hand, Help me understand the years. How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell. How I wish I would save my soul. I'm so cold from fear. I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain, All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble. Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray. I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble. Far, far away; find comfort in pain. All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble. It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.

Out of My Mind
Judging by the look on the organ-grinder, He'll judge me by the fact that my face don't fit. It's touching that the monkey sits on my shoulder. He's waiting for the day when he gets me, But I don't need no alibi - I'm a puppet on a string. I just need this stage to be seen. We all need a pantomime to remind us what is real. Hold my eye and know what it means. I'm out of my mind. Judging by the look on the organ-grinder, He'll judge me by the fact that my face don't fit. It's touching that the monkey sits on my shoulder. He's waiting for the day when he gets me, But I won't be your concubine - I'm a puppet not a whore. I just need this stage to be seen. Won't you be a friend of mine to remind me what is real? Hold my heart and see that it bleeds. I'm out of my mind.

So Long Jimmy
I just can't believe that it's over. We were chilling out on the sofa, Digging how the guitar goes, In a song that no one knows. Did you lick that line yourself, Or did the voodoo magic help? Does everyone have a different take? Do you seem real but I seem fake? Does everyone get hypnotized by your fire? So long, Jimmy, so long. Though you only stayed a moment, We all know that you're the one. Singing, So long, Jimmy, so long. Sure we're glad for the experience, We miss you now you've gone. We're just swimming in your soul 'cause, We all wish we wrote this song. Life goes on. I'm just so relieved that it's over. We were hanging out going nowhere, Digging how the guitar goes, In a song that no one knows. Did you burn that bridge yourself, Or did the voodoo magic help? Does everyone have a different take? Are you just cool and I'm just baked? Does everyone get mesmerized by your fire? So long, Jimmy, so long. Though you only stayed a moment, We all know that you're the one. Singing, So long, Jimmy, so long. Sure we're glad for the experience, We miss you now you've gone. We're just swimming in your soul 'cause, We all wish we wrote this song. Life goes on.

Billy
's leaving today (don't know where he's going). Holds his head in disgrace (he can't escape the truth). He knows the price that he's paid. He admits that it's too late to admit that he's afraid. Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate. The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late. Old doors are closed but he's always open, To relive time in his mind. Oh Billy. Billy's leaving today (don't know where he's going). He's got lines on his face (they tell the story of his pain). He accepts it's his fate. He admits it took too long to admit that he was wrong. Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate. The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late. Old doors are closed but he's always open, To relive time in his mind. Oh Billy. Once he was a lover sleeping with another. Now he's just known as a cheat. And he wish he'd had a mirror; looked a little clearer. Seen into the eyes of the weak. Tomorrow comes. Sorrow becomes his soul mate. The damage is done. The prodigal son is too late. Old doors are closed but he's always open, To relive time in his mind. Oh Billy.

Cry
I have seen peace. I have seen pain, Resting on the shoulders of your name. Do you see the truth through all their lies? Do you see the world through troubled eyes? And if you want to talk about it anymore, Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend. I have seen birth. I have seen death. Lived to see a lover's final breath. Do you see my guilt? Should I feel fright? Is the fire of hesitation burning bright? And if you want to talk about it once again, On you I depend. I'll cry on your shoulder. You're a friend. You and I have been through many things. I'll hold on to your heart. I wouldn't cry for anything, But don't go tearing your life apart. I have seen fear. I have seen faith. Seen the look of anger on your face. And if you want to talk about what will be, Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend. And if you want to talk about it anymore, Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder, I'm a friend.

No Bravery
There are children standing here, Arms outstretched into the sky, Tears drying on their face. He has been here. Brothers lie in shallow graves. Fathers lost without a trace. A nation blind to their disgrace, Since he's been here. And I see no bravery, No bravery in your eyes anymore. Only sadness. Houses burnt beyond repair. The smell of death is in the air. A woman weeping in despair says, He has been here. Tracer lighting up the sky. It's another families‚ turn to die. A child afraid to even cry out says, He has been here. And I see no bravery, No bravery in your eyes anymore. Only sadness. There are children standing here, Arms outstretched into the sky, But no one asks the question why, He has been here. Old men kneel and accept their fate. Wives and daughters cut and raped. A generation drenched in hate. Yes, he has been here. And I see no bravery, No bravery in your eyes anymore. Only sadness.

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Some of us did not get a Choice but we fight to make one!

Stand proud!!
Allow your posture to be your Voice!!
Then your words can be your grace!!
Remember,
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