*Word named word [Crisis]crisis equated word Film[Contagion]=Scene[scene: 1:03 / 2:39[seen[CDC[22 22nd Avenue[time and date ask the word person[by name[Louise Rodgers]]]]]]] equated word seen!! Word What I saw equated words I thought[Haight/Ashbury Hippie era] however the word tar with word adjustment from a word doctor word now[CDC] word falls under word equated words see something say something: Word Worm. I did not say anything at the word time as Louise Rodgers moved into our life after Word Dorchester at 815 and provided word name[Melba Maud] equated words horror as the Dr. gave words name Mrs.either Placek or Meakin a prescription and upon entry to 815 Balboa word she[Louise Rodgers] and or word her[Louise Rodgers] word gaggle of word saids made my mother[word either Tootsie or Melba as word they kept changing our names] flush the prescription down the upstairs bathroom. For questions of locations of word Wash Rooms a warrant would be needed to gain word access to 815 Balboa Street, anything less is the equated words same thing! Words For example title 1. word Wave!! Word number Too; words same type[thing.] word however that black word stuff spins really really fast busts a membrane and settles on the turned equated words blood mass, there is no worm however there is no lamb[Mint Jelly] so word equated word infection[infectious] and word disease equated word worm[earth[sum[summaries] as word virus equated word stern.
You searched for
"STERN" in the KJV Bible
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- Acts 27:29chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Then fearing lest we should have fallen upon rocks, they cast four anchors out of the stern, and wished for the day.
Now word yacht and I saw word boat equated on The History Channel word series equated words Captain Kangaroo as the glyph in Egypt remained equated words either hi or high or hi’er and that word equated is word sacred or sacrum[Star Trek series episode Harry Crumb.] or[oar] vessel or lord and then you get word cast iron and cast Iron so, word staff.
This equated words the titanic and I did the The Poseidon Adventure (1972) Trailer #1 | Movieclips Classic Trailers in word thinking equated word said to equated word films by listening to words “she won’t remember”, just to let you know today is the day that Dr. Bryon Kilgore, Dr. Louis Vuksinick, Dr. John Piel, Dr. Patton, Dr. Arccardi, Dr. Way[Number 10], Dr. Day[Number 10], Dr. Bohannon, Dr. Smoot, and doctors unclaimed as since the date of inception? No. Since died the United States of America is at word practice for words equated word their work. Feel-free to hyphen on word set and up[Up].
On the back of my head the word ??????[the full curved spinal word thing] folded itself in around the left hand side of the upper word member[membrane] of my word equated word hairline, and the picture of that word worm equated words[parameter word sets] looks just like this documented poster:
Picture 1 of 1
Have one to sell?
Cantore Arithmetic is able to state that in REM Sleep the overdrawing word worth to just actually sleeping through-it is word simple as word simple equated words that only in REM Sleep equated word experience. In word constant the augmented word worth[perverse] is in equation[equated] of words also wake as in terminology of language the Films as when I actually wake I words sat there. So, in one moment word these people of many genres are in word garble and in a word shutter the word depth rises or falls word into.
Words to wake equated word blinking as I do not know the condition of my eyeballs when I am sleeping other than words my eyes are closed[*Insert all word Physician here!!]. So, Dorchester word happened and equated word insanity. Words 815 word happened and equated word wurt as the ewe of the accent marks word developed curiosity while sleeping so, I would advise my word equated word glue to the horseshoe and would word staff the word watch as the Stables in Golden Gate Park afforded the opportunity. Words And, then equated word sound[ba boom.] as the horses on the ground at the barn to the stables to the Paddocks changed word sound to word equated word gravel.
1. word sound[Sound] equated word gravel[Gravel[GRAVEL.[gamel[dremel[pound[Pound[town[said]]]]]]]]
3.
sound1/sound/noun
5.
Now, for the Crazy horse doctor word physician[Physician] equated word word as the word is the word[physician]. Now, Jerry Dyer Mayor of Fresno was a word[Chief], equated word place[Place.[Fresno.[California]]] and word equated word vote to word achieve word postion[place obvious word here!!].
Word Alturas equated word artimeis[Artemis] equated word alturas equated word ........the word is the word however the word for word known aka prostate is not that word and Cantore Arithmetic is in word infinity as word finite to word equated as word wurt with the accent marks word word equated word wurt. The two accent marks equated word darkness from word DIAERESIS. Word named Tamara equated words a rose by any other name equated word thorn, the saying is The Rose Garden in Golden Gate Park at 19th and Fulton however the importance of the worth is in the word bah: What is the whole quote a rose by any other name? "A Rose, by any other name, would Smell as Sweet" A quote from Shakespeare “a rose by any other name would smell as sweet” has important meaning which applies to the everyday life of all humans. This quote suggest that a name is just a label to distinguish one thing from another. So, your word assholes equated word sore and this is word equated words graph. From Cantore Arithmetic you get word gland: 1. *Showing posts sorted by relevance for query gland. 2. Showing posts sorted by relevance for query gland.
For the Crazy Horse doctor[Doctor] people believe that there are UFO’, and, Spaceships!! So, Bob Ross, Inc. equate word health for word ewe[you.] as the word terms by the blood of the lamb covering word sheep and word wool as just words for word you[You] to word define[definitions is able to be[bee[Bee] word extinguished. Now, Robots are robots and word device is in the kjv[The Good[book.]. To engage program the word sensor equated words nerve cell.
This word avenue[Avenue[Ave.]] brings what word YOU need as the words skin graph opened the word nerve cell as word sensors so that word YOU are able to see the word brain misfunction as the word turmoil held my parameter and reality did not, people in word form want word things, as such I am starving, I am in horrible pain due to starvation?
Now, word question word if word person wanted to word see it to word believe it whatever that word it word might be, then word today would be[bee] word equated[extinguished] word Wed Apr 9. 7:04
AM. now this is a calculation and the thing is it word keeps.
Words I cannot be standing here[born] without numbers 2 and 4 so the avenue words two 7 fore bring the birth certificate to word Social Security, the number is of word avenue[Avenue] as Leonardo da vinci was of words and drawings and sculptures and word so, words from word Wikipedia worded named[Leonardo di ser Piero da Vinci[b] (15 April 1452 – 2 May 1519) was an Italian polymath of the High Renaissance] and Srinivasa Ramanujan only had word: Word equated words equated words worth[certain[Certain.]. Now, 2, 4, 9, 12 equated word increment[page[kept[lept[lesion[leper5. Word then equated[equations] word numbered[2, 4, 9, 12, 18,9].
1. Word tangible[Tangible[tangle[Tangled[bobble[Bo]]]]]
a. word bobble equated words CAMPHO PHENIQUE.[Campho-Phenique: held by trademark,
Campho-Phenique®as word hyphen equated word option in word named. So National income, drugs[Drugs in the headshops, and packages[Package.] at 13 equated word regards[formula[town.]]
2. Dr. Kilgore and I worked on word torque as a prescription[word Prescription] equate word pad[tablet[Tablet[table[stance[want]]]]] as word analogy equated word anagram!!
3. Word That[that] equated words so your killing people:
1.
Friday, August 12, 2011
The Cinderella Expense
I have always walked beside myself. I never was able to totally put myself back together after that experience of having a bag put over my head and was very nearly killed. Although I didn't die, I felt as if I did. After years and years of being silent I have chosen to speak up about certain and a very select few of events in my life . I will try and explain the devastating effects that such events can have on your life by sharing how it destroyed any sense of self I may have had at one point in my life. I was under the age of Five when the "Killing Karen" was the agenda of my sibling and then................Walking along side myself is far easier than walking inside myself due to the pain. Living this way also helps to distribute the pain out over a greater amount of space to be absorbed. The difficulty comes into play when you try to get others to accept the amount of pain you are in all of the time. In general people seem to believe that you can just put things down or get over what has happened to you. This is not possible when you have split off from yourself. This has been my greatest and most difficult hurdle to cross. Therefore I am going to try something new and tell you the story from a split point of view.I started this entire experience at a very young age. Ever since that particular time I have been split from myself and unable to get back into my body. I have never spoken about this due to the sensitivity of such a thought or concept and the disbelief that I know I will be met with. However before judgment is thrown out into the wind, three years ago I had a counselor speak to me in a therapy session about my meta self. I did not buy into her conversation because I felt it would counterproductive and held against me should I agree with her theory or go as far as to admit it. Contrary to what you would think, this is a truly exhausting form to be stuck in. It is an unending frustration that you suffer silently with for fear of repercussions by those that think its funny or it is not a possibility. You actually learn to halt your efforts or your attempts to correct what was happened to you by walking along side your human self.. It is as if you are constantly double checking with yourself to ensure that you are nearby. Laugh if you will but this is a proven and very complex problem. It's a protective mechanism called up by the nervous system when it reaches its maximum capacity to process stimulation (both internally and externally). Anger speaks today. My vice is myself and restraint is a burden I wish to carry no more.When I was sixteen years old I was watching the 3:30 Movie on Channel 7 in San Francisco, California at my mothers house in West Clay Park. My brother came into the room with two guns. One was an AK47 and the other was a pistol. He proceeded to load the pistol in front me, I froze in terror. ("We experience dissociative states when our nervous system is strained to the limit. We're "too full". In other words, we've inadvertently taken in more stimulation than the nervous system can handle. Life circumstances can overwhelm the nervous system at any time in our growth or later, for example through physical traumatic events. Unresolved issues and traumas can ignite the dissociative pathways. It's a matter of degree. Think of the operating system in a computer. When its' maximum capacity is reached it shuts down inessential software programs in order to save its resources for critical functions, while ensuring that important files are not lost. In effect, the brain does the same thing. When maximum nervous system processing capacity has been reached, the dissociative mechanism comes on line and shuts down less important systems such as our ability to concentrate. Dissociation is a type of freeze response. To the degree that you are dissociative, will be the degree of impairment in your ability to take appropriate fight or flight responses (e.g. being physically threatened). In other words, you are more likely to move into freeze whether you want or not (e.g. freezing at gun point during a bank robbery).") I could not speak, as the memories of him killing me as a young girl flooded my mind and caused me to become spatially challenged within my very being. I could not move to save myself from what was impending doom from him once again. The horror of my youth was happening. With anger and sarcasm my brother pointed the pistol at my head and said, "BANG." He pulled the trigger, my second self left instantly, never to return again (Hindsight of coarse being 20/20 in this matter.) Remaining calm in my actual self, I began to get up very slowly, heading towards the closed door. He came at me once again with that look in his eye. I recognized it from long ago as him saying to me, "I am going to kill you now." I sat back down, acting as if this was all no big deal. The commercial break was over and the movie came back on, "Bang" "Click, " another gasp of breath escaped me. I felt faint as my older brother continued his banter of hatred towards me. He finally got up off the couch turned away for a moment, I was gone, I disappeared into my mothers house. My brother took my life on that day. He smashed what I had become into pieces and I have never been able to recover any of it.As I stand in the place of myself and explain to you your short comings, I hope that you desire the wealth of mind, spirit and body I propose. This is oppose to what it seems that you require while subject to living your life on this planet. In a very limited way, I hope that you will open your imaginations to a different path that may deliver to you the enlightenment you are so badly in need of in your lives. To watch from a distance as people betray one another for self gain, I ponder the value of their existence. Death delivers the final blow to your perceived reality of yourself and your beliefs. No one speaks of such things in our Country due to the fear of death itself. Although splitting, dissociating and near-death experiences are on the rise, the belief in such an extension of life is frowned upon. These documented aspects of a different and challenging dimension to those that live such things has been greeted with doubt and disdain by the general public. Sadness for your appreciation of other forms of life, even be it death, should cause you to be troubled in your own minds, for in truth you lack belief. Not one person will escape the finality of the loss of your life. The reality and bitter truth of such a thing will eventually greet you as an individual. You will not have the support of anyone but yourself and your own belief structure to lean upon. For it is in death and in the separation of yourself from your mortal form that you find the truth about the after-life.I would believe in my limited knowledge of life itself, that a person would be more prone to investigate all avenues in regards to what will happen beyond your simplistic life on this Earth. Rather I have found that people shut out what they wish to turn from, condemning it as heresy if brought up in conversation or concern. And what people at large seemingly turn from in this country is all of the beliefs around the world that believe in reincarnation or as I would like to put it, "We all seem to go around again, somehow." Because in any reality, altered or not, I feel as if I have been here before.It is discouraging for those of us that would like to open our minds and our hearts to a different belief due to the horrid and rather severe neglect and abuse that we suffered as a child to be so readily shot down when the subject of difference to belief is broached. Instead we are told disparaging and negative things about ourselves and our ideas. In addition we are incapable of exploring new avenues with any of our own ready beliefs due to the fact that this one religion, one belief of only Heaven and Hell has seemingly swamped this country and its people. Therefore we remain silent and without opinion in order to survive this tragic, yet very real life of disastrous proportion.After being tortured by your family that has spiritually and religiously abused your mind and soul, you would think that there would be a greater acceptance of you as a singular person. You would lean towards believing that upon hearing your remarkable story, the christians would want to encourage you back into what it is they believe, as oppose to threaten you with the biblical wrath of your proposed sin towards god. I never have seen anything other than threats of "Burning in Hell," as my end all for my disbelief towards what destroyed me as a youth in the city of San Francisco. You would think that if the christian was so inclined to be absolutely revered that they would give support and be curious, not condemning, of your own personal revelations so that they may alter them in the end. Not so, as I am sure many can profess too.As I stand today and testify to my own accounts in my life, I point the finger of blame at the parties responsible for ensuring my demise as a human being in my youth and as an adult. In spite of the lack of belief in this regard, I know that one day soon their (My Family of Orgin) own testimony to the world at large in explanation of the things that I have written will be heard and frowned upon as sad and unnecessary to defend with such degree of malice. The beatings and the manipulations will only continue to progress towards further negativity and the destruction of who may be in my physical place to take it in my sted. Once a person has learned to feed off the tragedy of others they never break the habit. It is an addiction that has no cure because it is difficult to identify. Most layman would pass such behavior off as a person, "Being mean," or "Unkind" towards other people. In the reality that you do not seem to live in, people of this caliber (FOO) get worse with age due to the very simple fact that they have never been caught or outed publicly by name. Therefore evil perpetuates evil under the pretense of christianity in this case.Looking towards a revolution amongst the people that believe in evil will be paramount in the actual identification of such monstrous human beings. As long as you turn away from the adults that find the courage in themselves to speak of such abuse in their lives, then the problem will just continue to enhance itself, invading your life soon. Thanking the latest AT&T commercial for the division in myself once again, I propose nothing but the deliverance of difficulty into all of your lives as the avid readers of others pain and agony. This is not funny, nor is it a joke. People watch this National Advertisement along with many children in this country. By simple disregard for health and well-being this behavior is then replicated, introducing a callous and heinous way to treat young individual. To put the "Golden Child" and the "Scapegoat Child" out there for all of us to see how it actually works on t.v. is a great accomplishment for the people who would like to breed more Narcissistic Energy in this already selfish country. I know that for me personally this commercial makes me know that there is nothing that I could say to shock or cause dismay on here or in public. Here is an advertised Malignant Narcissist and her enabling husband, it is a "How to Video, create your own Scapegoat and Golden child in the privacy of your own home."Causing division amongst the siblings for life; this is the goal of the parents that play such cruel and real games with their children. The parents have now created the Narcissistic Energy they require to see them through all the way until their own demise or death. Wow!! I hope that you suffer at the hands of the Malignant Narcissistic Sociopath soon. It is so much fun, I can't wait till your the grown boy from this commercial and face the world as I had too, with no support from whom is meant to love you, your parents and FOO.I have never expected my writings to go much beyond my expression of horror on this blog. In the end I will be heard beyond the grave. Maybe someday a human being will take the time from their own selfishness to read and understand what is written about the people that are bringing an end to compassion and love, just as my family is doing daily in San Francisco to my children. For in the not to distant future because of ad's like this one, parents will only produce children that have been separated by their parents stupidity in their upbringing. By depraved indifference the human race will end and find that extinction is the final judgment of the behavior which it portrays towards one another. Even in the wild, animals turn to another for the support and encouragement to live free. In a collective they will run from captors as you see when the Discovery Channel films in Africa. There is not one animal that doesn't turn to run with the herds to save its life as men attempt to kill or trap them for study or Zoo's. Sadly, as in this depraved and gross commercial, children have no place to run to safety for love and the very much needed compassion of a fellow human being after you are told that all you have is a remote. You cannot tell me that this has not been played out across this country by the stupid people that believe it is so funny. It is all in the privacy of the homes and being touted as a joke or the infamous, "I'm just playing with you." This hurt does not leave your person as a child. And I doubt there are any efforts to undo the sick joke being played amongst the ignorant and cruel adults today.FOO - Family of OriginFriday, July 3, 2015
The Worlds Largest Water Life Re^Tailor ~ Bricks & Mortar Recognized The Big Box Ask Not The Flag For that would be Begging the Question`ds
The Meaning of July Fourth for the Negro
by Frederick DouglassA speech given at Rochester, New York, July 5, 1852
Mr. President, Friends and Fellow Citizens:
He who could address this audience without a quailing sensation, has stronger nerves than I have. I do not remember ever to have appeared as a speaker before any assembly more shrinkingly, nor with greater distrust of my ability, than I do this day. A feeling has crept over me quite unfavorable to the exercise of my limited powers of speech. The task before me is one which requires much previous thought and study for its proper performance. I know that apologies of this sort are generally considered flat and unmeaning. I trust, however, that mine will not be so considered. Should I seem at ease, my appearance would much misrepresent me. The little experience I have had in addressing public meetings, in country school houses, avails me nothing on the present occasion.
The papers and placards say that I am to deliver a Fourth of July Oration. This certainly sounds large, and out of the common way, for me. It is true that I have often had the privilege to speak in this beautiful Hall, and to address many who now honor me with their presence. But neither their familiar faces, nor the perfect gage I think I have of Corinthian Hall seems to free me from embarrassment.
The fact is, ladies and gentlemen, the distance between this platform and the slave plantation, from which I escaped, is considerable-and the difficulties to he overcome in getting from the latter to the former are by no means slight. That I am here to-day is, to me, a matter of astonishment as well as of gratitude. You will not, therefore, be surprised, if in what I have to say I evince no elaborate preparation, nor grace my speech with any high sounding exordium. With little experience and with less learning, I have been able to throw my thoughts hastily and imperfectly together; and trusting to your patient and generous indulgence I will proceed to lay them before you.
This, for the purpose of this celebration, is the Fourth of July. It is the birth day of your National Independence, and of your political freedom. This, to you, as what the Passover was to the emancipated people of God. It carries your minds back to the day, and to the act of your great deliverance; and to the signs, and to the wonders, associated with that act, and that day. This celebration also marks the beginning of another year of your national life; and reminds you that the Republic of America is now 76 years old. l am glad, fellow-citizens, that your nation is so young. Seventy-six years, though a good old age for a man, is but a mere speck in the life of a nation. Three score years and ten is the allotted time for individual men; but nations number their years by thousands. According to this fact, you are, even now, only in the beginning of your national career, still lingering in the period of childhood. I repeat, I am glad this is so. There is hope in the thought, and hope is much needed, under the dark clouds which lower above the horizon. The eye of the reformer is met with angry flashes, portending disastrous times; but his heart may well beat lighter at the thought that America is young, and that she is still in the impressible stage of her existence. May he not hope that high lessons of wisdom, of justice and of truth, will yet give direction to her destiny? Were the nation older, the patriot's heart might be sadder, and the reformer's brow heavier. Its future might be shrouded in gloom, and the hope of its prophets go out in sorrow. There is consolation in the thought that America is young.-Great streams are not easily turned from channels, worn deep in the course of ages. They may sometimes rise in quiet and stately majesty, and inundate the land, refreshing and fertilizing the earth with their mysterious properties. They may also rise in wrath and fury, and bear away, on their angry waves, the accumulated wealth of years of toil and hardship. They, however, gradually flow back to the same old channel, and flow on as serenely as ever. But, while the river may not be turned aside, it may dry up, and leave nothing behind but the withered branch, and the unsightly rock, to howl in the abyss-sweeping wind, the sad tale of departed glory. As with rivers so with nations.
Fellow-citizens, I shall not presume to dwell at length on the associations that cluster about this day. The simple story of it is, that, 76 years ago, the people of this country were British subjects. The style and title of your "sovereign people" (in which you now glory) was not then born. You were under the British Crown. Your fathers esteemed the English Government as the home government; and England as the fatherland. This home government, you know, although a considerable distance from your home, did, in the exercise of its parental prerogatives, impose upon its colonial children, such restraints, burdens and limitations, as, in its mature judgment, it deemed wise, right and proper.
But your fathers, who had not adopted the fashionable idea of this day, of the infallibility of government, and the absolute character of its acts, presumed to differ from the home government in respect to the wisdom and the justice of some of those burdens and restraints. They went so far in their excitement as to pronounce the measures of government unjust, unreasonable, and oppressive, and altogether such as ought not to be quietly submitted to. I scarcely need say, fellow-citizens, that my opinion of those measures fully accords with that of your fathers. Such a declaration of agreement on my part would not be worth much to anybody. It would certainly prove nothing as to what part I might have taken had I lived during the great controversy of 1776. To say now that America was right, and England wrong, is exceedingly easy. Everybody can say it; the dastard, not less than the noble brave, can flippantly discant on the tyranny of England towards the American Colonies. It is fashionable to do so; but there was a time when, to pronounce against England, and in favor of the cause of the colonies, tried men's souls. They who did so were accounted in their day plotters of mischief, agitators and rebels, dangerous men. To side with the right against the wrong, with the weak against the strong, and with the oppressed against the oppressor! here lies the merit, and the one which, of all others, seems unfashionable in our day. The cause of liberty may be stabbed by the men who glory in the deeds of your fathers. But, to proceed.
Feeling themselves harshly and unjustly treated, by the home government, your fathers, like men of honesty, and men of spirit, earnestly sought redress. They petitioned and remonstrated; they did so in a decorous, respectful, and loyal manner. Their conduct was wholly unexceptionable. This, however, did not answer the purpose. They saw themselves treated with sovereign indifference, coldness and scorn. Yet they persevered. They were not the men to look back.
As the sheet anchor takes a firmer hold, when the ship is tossed by the storm, so did the cause of your fathers grow stronger as it breasted the chilling blasts of kingly displeasure. The greatest and best of British statesmen admitted its justice, and the loftiest eloquence of the British Senate came to its support. But, with that blindness which seems to be the unvarying characteristic of tyrants, since Pharaoh and his hosts were drowned in the Red Sea, the British Government persisted in the exactions complained of.
The madness of this course, we believe, is admitted now, even by England; but we fear the lesson is wholly lost on our present rulers.
Oppression makes a wise man mad. Your fathers were wise men, and if they did not go mad, they became restive under this treatment. They felt themselves the victims of grievous wrongs, wholly incurable in their colonial capacity. With brave men there is always a remedy for oppression. Just here, the idea of a total separation of the colonies from the crown was born! It was a startling idea, much more so than we, at this distance of time, regard it. The timid and the prudent (as has been intimated) of that day were, of course, shocked and alarmed by it.
Such people lived then, had lived before, and will, probably, ever have a place on this planet; and their course, in respect to any great change (no matter how great the good to be attained, or the wrong to be redressed by it), may be calculated with as much precision as can be the course of the stars. They hate all changes, but silver, gold and copper change! Of this sort of change they are always strongly in favor.
These people were called Tories in the days of your fathers; and the appellation, probably, conveyed the same idea that is meant by a more modern, though a somewhat less euphonious term, which we often find in our papers, applied to some of our old politicians.
Their opposition to the then dangerous thought was earnest and powerful; but, amid all their terror and affrighted vociferations against it, the alarming and revolutionary idea moved on, and the country with it.
On the 2nd of July, 1776, the old Continental Congress, to the dismay of the lovers of ease, and the worshipers of property, clothed that dreadful idea with all the authority of national sanction. They did so in the form of a resolution; and as we seldom hit upon resolutions, drawn up in our day, whose transparency is at all equal to this, it may refresh your minds and help my story if I read it."Resolved, That these united colonies are, and of right, ought to be free and Independent States; that they are absolved from all allegiance to the British Crown; and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain is, and ought to be, dissolved."
Citizens, your fathers made good that resolution. They succeeded; and to-day you reap the fruits of their success. The freedom gained is yours; and you, there fore, may properly celebrate this anniversary. The 4th of July is the first great fact in your nation's history-the very ringbolt in the chain of your yet undeveloped destiny.
Pride and patriotism, not less than gratitude, prompt you to celebrate and to hold it in perpetual remembrance. I have said that the Declaration of Independence is the ringbolt to the chain of your nation's destiny; so, indeed, I regard it. The principles contained in that instrument are saving principles. Stand by those principles, be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost.
From the round top of your ship of state, dark and threatening clouds may be seen. Heavy billows, like mountains in the distance, disclose to the leeward huge forms of flinty rocks! That bolt drawn, that chain broken, and all is lost. Cling to this day-cling to it, and to its principles, with the grasp of a storm-tossed mariner to a spar at midnight.
The coming into being of a nation, in any circumstances, is an interesting event. But, besides general considerations, there were peculiar circumstances which make the advent of this republic an event of special attractiveness. The whole scene, as I look back to it, was simple, dignified and sublime. The population of the country, at the time, stood at the insignificant number of three millions. The country was poor in the munitions of war. The population was weak and scattered, and the country a wilderness unsubdued. There were then no means of concert and combination, such as exist now. Neither steam nor lightning had then been reduced to order and discipline. From the Potomac to the Delaware was a journey of many days. Under these, and innumerable other disadvantages, your fathers declared for liberty and independence and triumphed.
Fellow Citizens, I am not wanting in respect for the fathers of this republic. The signers of the Declaration of Independence were brave men. They were great men, too-great enough to give frame to a great age. It does not often happen to a nation to raise, at one time, such a number of truly great men. The point from which I am compelled to view them is not, certainly, the most favorable; and yet I cannot contemplate their great deeds with less than admiration. They were statesmen, patriots and heroes, and for the good they did, and the principles they contended for, I will unite with you to honor their memory.
They loved their country better than their own private interests; and, though this is not the highest form of human excellence, all will concede that it is a rare virtue, and that when it is exhibited it ought to command respect. He who will, intelligently, lay down his life for his country is a man whom it is not in human nature to despise. Your fathers staked their lives, their fortunes, and their sacred honor, on the cause of their country. In their admiration of liberty, they lost sight of all other interests.
They were peace men; but they preferred revolution to peaceful submission to bondage. They were quiet men; but they did not shrink from agitating against oppression. They showed forbearance; but that they knew its limits. They believed in order; but not in the order of tyranny. With them, nothing was "settIed" that was not right. With them, justice, liberty and humanity were "final"; not slavery and oppression. You may well cherish the memory of such men. They were great in their day and generation. Their solid manhood stands out the more as we contrast it with these degenerate times.
How circumspect, exact and proportionate were all their movements! How unlike the politicians of an hour! Their statesmanship looked beyond the passing moment, and stretched away in strength into the distant future. They seized upon eternal principles, and set a glorious example in their defence. Mark them! Fully appreciating the hardships to be encountered, firmly believing in the right of their cause, honorably inviting the scrutiny of an on-looking world, reverently appealing to heaven to attest their sincerity, soundly comprehending the solemn responsibility they were about to assume, wisely measuring the terrible odds against them, your fathers, the fathers of this republic, did, most deliberately, under the inspiration of a glorious patriotism, and with a sublime faith in the great principles of justice and freedom, lay deep, the corner-stone of the national super-structure, which has risen and still rises in grandeur around you.
Of this fundamental work, this day is the anniversary. Our eyes are met with demonstrations of joyous enthusiasm. Banners and pennants wave exultingly on the breeze. The din of business, too, is hushed. Even mammon seems to have quitted his grasp on this day. The ear-piercing fife and the stirring drum unite their accents with the ascending peal of a thousand church bells. Prayers are made, hymns are sung, and sermons are preached in honor of this day; while the quick martial tramp of a great and multitudinous nation, echoed back by all the hills, valleys and mountains of a vast continent, bespeak the occasion one of thrilling and universal interest-nation's jubilee.
Friends and citizens, I need not enter further into the causes which led to this anniversary. Many of you understand them better than I do. You could instruct me in regard to them. That is a branch of knowledge in which you feel, perhaps, a much deeper interest than your speaker. The causes which led to the separation of the colonies from the British crown have never lacked for a tongue. They have all been taught in your common schools, narrated at your firesides, un folded from your pulpits, and thundered from your legislative halls, and are as familiar to you as household words. They form the staple of your national po etry and eloquence.
I remember, also, that, as a people, Americans are remarkably familiar with all facts which make in their own favor. This is esteemed by some as a national trait-perhaps a national weakness. It is a fact, that whatever makes for the wealth or for the reputation of Americans and can be had cheap! will be found by Americans. I shall not be charged with slandering Americans if I say I think the American side of any question may be safely left in American hands.
I leave, therefore, the great deeds of your fathers to other gentlemen whose claim to have been regularly descended will be less likely to be disputed than mine!
My business, if I have any here to-day, is with the present. The accepted time with God and His cause is the ever-living now.Trust no future, however pleasant,We have to do with the past only as we can make it useful to the present and to the future. To all inspiring motives, to noble deeds which can be gained from the past, we are welcome. But now is the time, the important time. Your fathers have lived, died, and have done their work, and have done much of it well. You live and must die, and you must do your work. You have no right to enjoy a child's share in the labor of your fathers, unless your children are to be blest by your labors. You have no right to wear out and waste the hard-earned fame of your fathers to cover your indolence. Sydney Smith tells us that men seldom eulogize the wisdom and virtues of their fathers, but to excuse some folly or wickedness of their own. This truth is not a doubtful one. There are illustrations of it near and remote, ancient and modern. It was fashionable, hundreds of years ago, for the children of Jacob to boast, we have "Abraham to our father," when they had long lost Abraham's faith and spirit. That people contented themselves under the shadow of Abraham's great name, while they repudiated the deeds which made his name great. Need I remind you that a similar thing is being done all over this country to-day? Need I tell you that the Jews are not the only people who built the tombs of the prophets, and garnished the sepulchers of the righteous? Washington could not die till he had broken the chains of his slaves. Yet his monument is built up by the price of human blood, and the traders in the bodies and souls of men shout-"We have Washington to our father."-Alas! that it should be so; yet it is.
Let the dead past bury its dead;
Act, act in the living present,
Heart within, and God overhead.The evil, that men do, lives after them,Fellow-citizens, pardon me, allow me to ask, why am I called upon to speak here to-day? What have I, or those I represent, to do with your national independence? Are the great principles of political freedom and of natural justice, embodied in that Declaration of Independence, extended to us? and am I, therefore, called upon to bring our humble offering to the national altar, and to confess the benefits and express devout gratitude for the blessings resulting from your independence to us?
The good is oft interred with their bones.
Would to God, both for your sakes and ours, that an affirmative answer could be truthfully returned to these questions! Then would my task be light, and my burden easy and delightful. For who is there so cold, that a nation's sympathy could not warm him? Who so obdurate and dead to the claims of gratitude, that would not thankfully acknowledge such priceless benefits? Who so stolid and selfish, that would not give his voice to swell the hallelujahs of a nation's jubilee, when the chains of servitude had been torn from his limbs? I am not that man. In a case like that, the dumb might eloquently speak, and the "lame man leap as an hart."
But such is not the state of the case. I say it with a sad sense of the disparity between us. I am not included within the pale of this glorious anniversary! Your high independence only reveals the immeasurable distance between us. The blessings in which you, this day, rejoice, are not enjoyed in common.-The rich inheritance of justice, liberty, prosperity and independence, bequeathed by your fa thers, is shared by you, not by me. The sunlight that brought light and healing to you, has brought stripes and death to me. This Fourth July is yours, not mine. You may rejoice, I must mourn. To drag a man in fetters into the grand illuminated temple of liberty, and call upon him to join you in joyous anthems, were inhuman mockery and sacrilegious irony. Do you mean, citizens, to mock me, by asking me to speak to-day? If so, there is a parallel to your conduct. And let me warn you that it is dangerous to copy the example of a nation whose crimes, towering up to heaven, were thrown down by the breath of the Almighty, burying that nation in irrevocable ruin! I can to-day take up the plaintive lament of a peeled and woe-smitten people!
"By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down. Yea! we wept when we remembered Zion. We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof. For there, they that carried us away captive, required of us a song; and they who wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion. How can we sing the Lord's song in a strange land? If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning. If I do not remember thee, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth."
Fellow-citizens, above your national, tumultuous joy, I hear the mournful wail of millions! whose chains, heavy and grievous yesterday, are, to-day, rendered more intolerable by the jubilee shouts that reach them. If I do forget, if I do not faithfully remember those bleeding children of sorrow this day, "may my right hand forget her cunning, and may my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth!" To forget them, to pass lightly over their wrongs, and to chime in with the popular theme, would be treason most scandalous and shocking, and would make me a reproach before God and the world. My subject, then, fellow-citizens, is American slavery. I shall see this day and its popular characteristics from the slave's point of view. Standing there identified with the American bondman, making his wrongs mine, I do not hesitate to declare, with all my soul, that the character and conduct of this nation never looked blacker to me than on this 4th of July! Whether we turn to the declarations of the past, or to the professions of the present, the conduct of the nation seems equally hideous and revolting. America is false to the past, false to the present, and solemnly binds herself to be false to the future. Standing with God and the crushed and bleeding slave on this occasion, I will, in the name of humanity which is outraged, in the name of liberty which is fettered, in the name of the constitution and the Bible which are disregarded and trampled upon, dare to call in question and to denounce, with all the emphasis I can command, everything that serves to perpetuate slavery-the great sin and shame of America! "I will not equivocate; I will not excuse"; I will use the severest language I can command; and yet not one word shall escape me that any man, whose judgment is not blinded by prejudice, or who is not at heart a slaveholder, shall not confess to be right and just.
But I fancy I hear some one of my audience say, "It is just in this circumstance that you and your brother abolitionists fail to make a favorable impression on the public mind. Would you argue more, and denounce less; would you persuade more, and rebuke less; your cause would be much more likely to succeed." But, I submit, where all is plain there is nothing to be argued. What point in the anti slavery creed would you have me argue? On what branch of the subject do the people of this country need light? Must I undertake to prove that the slave is a man? That point is conceded already. Nobody doubts it. The slaveholders themselves acknowledge it in the enactment of laws for their government. They ac knowledge it when they punish disobedience on the part of the slave. There are seventy-two crimes in the State of Virginia which, if committed by a black man (no matter how ignorant he be), subject him to the punishment of death; while only two of the same crimes will subject a white man to the like punishment. What is this but the acknowledgment that the slave is a moral, intellectual, and responsible being? The manhood of the slave is conceded. It is admitted in the fact that Southern statute books are covered with enactments forbidding, under severe fines and penalties, the teaching of the slave to read or to write. When you can point to any such laws in reference to the beasts of the field, then I may con sent to argue the manhood of the slave. When the dogs in your streets, when the fowls of the air, when the cattle on your hills, when the fish of the sea, and the reptiles that crawl, shall be unable to distinguish the slave from a brute, then will I argue with you that the slave is a man!
For the present, it is enough to affirm the equal manhood of the Negro race. Is it not astonishing that, while we are ploughing, planting, and reaping, using all kinds of mechanical tools, erecting houses, constructing bridges, building ships, working in metals of brass, iron, copper, silver and gold; that, while we are reading, writing and ciphering, acting as clerks, merchants and secretaries, having among us lawyers, doctors, ministers, poets, authors, editors, orators and teachers; that, while we are engaged in all manner of enterprises common to other men, digging gold in California, capturing the whale in the Pacific, feeding sheep and cattle on the hill-side, living, moving, acting, thinking, planning, living in families as husbands, wives and children, and, above all, confessing and worshipping the Christian's God, and looking hopefully for life and immortality beyond the grave, we are called upon to prove that we are men!
Would you have me argue that man is entitled to liberty? that he is the rightful owner of his own body? You have already declared it. Must I argue the wrongfulness of slavery? Is that a question for Republicans? Is it to be settled by the rules of logic and argumentation, as a matter beset with great difficulty, involving a doubtful application of the principle of justice, hard to be understood? How should I look to-day, in the presence of Americans, dividing, and subdividing a discourse, to show that men have a natural right to freedom? speaking of it relatively and positively, negatively and affirmatively. To do so, would be to make myself ridiculous, and to offer an insult to your understanding.-There is not a man beneath the canopy of heaven that does not know that slavery is wrong for him.
What, am I to argue that it is wrong to make men brutes, to rob them of their liberty, to work them without wages, to keep them ignorant of their relations to their fellow men, to beat them with sticks, to flay their flesh with the lash, to load their limbs with irons, to hunt them with dogs, to sell them at auction, to sunder their families, to knock out their teeth, to burn their flesh, to starve them into obedience and submission to their masters? Must I argue that a system thus marked with blood, and stained with pollution, is wrong? No! I will not. I have better employment for my time and strength than such arguments would imply.
What, then, remains to be argued? Is it that slavery is not divine; that God did not establish it; that our doctors of divinity are mistaken? There is blasphemy in the thought. That which is inhuman, cannot be divine! Who can reason on such a proposition? They that can, may; I cannot. The time for such argument is passed.
At a time like this, scorching irony, not convincing argument, is needed. O! had I the ability, and could reach the nation's ear, I would, to-day, pour out a fiery stream of biting ridicule, blasting reproach, withering sarcasm, and stern rebuke. For it is not light that is needed, but fire; it is not the gentle shower, but thunder. We need the storm, the whirlwind, and the earthquake. The feeling of the nation must be quickened; the conscience of the nation must be roused; the propriety of the nation must be startled; the hypocrisy of the nation must be exposed; and its crimes against God and man must be proclaimed and denounced.
What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to Him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy-a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour.
Go where you may, search where you will, roam through all the monarchies and despotisms of the Old World, travel through South America, search out every abuse, and when you have found the last, lay your facts by the side of the everyday practices of this nation, and you will say with me, that, for revolting barbarity and shameless hypocrisy, America reigns without a rival.
Take the American slave-trade, which we are told by the papers, is especially prosperous just now. Ex-Senator Benton tells us that the price of men was never higher than now. He mentions the fact to show that slavery is in no danger. This trade is one of the peculiarities of American institutions. It is carried on in all the large towns and cities in one-half of this confederacy; and millions are pocketed every year by dealers in this horrid traffic. In several states this trade is a chief source of wealth. It is called (in contradistinction to the foreign slave-trade) "the internal slave-trade." It is, probably, called so, too, in order to divert from it the horror with which the foreign slave-trade is contemplated. That trade has long since been denounced by this government as piracy. It has been denounced with burning words from the high places of the nation as an execrable traffic. To arrest it, to put an end to it, this nation keeps a squadron, at immense cost, on the coast of Africa. Everywhere, in this country, it is safe to speak of this foreign slave-trade as a most inhuman traffic, opposed alike to the Jaws of God and of man. The duty to extirpate and destroy it, is admitted even by our doctors of divinity. In order to put an end to it, some of these last have consented that their colored brethren (nominally free) should leave this country, and establish them selves on the western coast of Africa! It is, however, a notable fact that, while so much execration is poured out by Americans upon all those engaged in the foreign slave-trade, the men engaged in the slave-trade between the states pass with out condemnation, and their business is deemed honorable.
Behold the practical operation of this internal slave-trade, the American slave-trade, sustained by American politics and American religion. Here you will see men and women reared like swine for the market. You know what is a swine-drover? I will show you a man-drover. They inhabit all our Southern States. They perambulate the country, and crowd the highways of the nation, with droves of human stock. You will see one of these human flesh jobbers, armed with pistol, whip, and bowie-knife, driving a company of a hundred men, women, and children, from the Potomac to the slave market at New Orleans. These wretched people are to be sold singly, or in lots, to suit purchasers. They are food for the cotton-field and the deadly sugar-mill. Mark the sad procession, as it moves wearily along, and the inhuman wretch who drives them. Hear his savage yells and his blood-curdling oaths, as he hurries on his affrighted captives! There, see the old man with locks thinned and gray. Cast one glance, if you please, upon that young mother, whose shoulders are bare to the scorching sun, her briny tears falling on the brow of the babe in her arms. See, too, that girl of thirteen, weeping, yes! weeping, as she thinks of the mother from whom she has been torn! The drove moves tardily. Heat and sorrow have nearly consumed their strength; suddenly you hear a quick snap, like the discharge of a rifle; the fetters clank, and the chain rattles simultaneously; your ears are saluted with a scream, that seems to have torn its way to the centre of your soul The crack you heard was the sound of the slave-whip; the scream you heard was from the woman you saw with the babe. Her speed had faltered under the weight of her child and her chains! that gash on her shoulder tells her to move on. Follow this drove to New Orleans. Attend the auction; see men examined like horses; see the forms of women rudely and brutally exposed to the shock ing gaze of American slave-buyers. See this drove sold and separated forever; and never forget the deep, sad sobs that arose from that scattered multitude. Tell me, citizens, where, under the sun, you can witness a spectacle more fiendish and shocking. Yet this is but a glance at the American slave-trade, as it exists, at this moment, in the ruling part of the United States.
I was born amid such sights and scenes. To me the American slave-trade is a terrible reality. When a child, my soul was often pierced with a sense of its horrors. I lived on Philpot Street, Fell's Point, Baltimore, and have watched from the wharves the slave ships in the Basin, anchored from the shore, with their cargoes of human flesh, waiting for favorable winds to waft them down the Chesapeake. There was, at that time, a grand slave mart kept at the head of Pratt Street, by Austin Woldfolk. His agents were sent into every town and county in Maryland, announcing their arrival, through the papers, and on flaming "hand-bills," headed cash for Negroes. These men were generally well dressed men, and very captivating in their manners; ever ready to drink, to treat, and to gamble. The fate of many a slave has depended upon the turn of a single card; and many a child has been snatched from the arms of its mother by bargains arranged in a state of brutal drunkenness.
The flesh-mongers gather up their victims by dozens, and drive them, chained, to the general depot at Baltimore. When a sufficient number has been collected here, a ship is chartered for the purpose of conveying the forlorn crew to Mobile, or to New Orleans. From the slave prison to the ship, they are usually driven in the darkness of night; for since the antislavery agitation, a certain caution is observed.
In the deep, still darkness of midnight, I have been often aroused by the dead, heavy footsteps, and the piteous cries of the chained gangs that passed our door. The anguish of my boyish heart was intense; and I was often consoled, when speaking to my mistress in the morning, to hear her say that the custom was very wicked; that she hated to hear the rattle of the chains and the heart-rending cries. I was glad to find one who sympathized with me in my horror.
Fellow-citizens, this murderous traffic is, to-day, in active operation in this boasted republic. In the solitude of my spirit I see clouds of dust raised on the highways of the South; I see the bleeding footsteps; I hear the doleful wail of fettered humanity on the way to the slave-markets, where the victims are to be sold like horses, sheep, and swine, knocked off to the highest bidder. There I see the tenderest ties ruthlessly broken, to gratify the lust, caprice and rapacity of the buyers and sellers of men. My soul sickens at the sight.But a still more inhuman, disgraceful, and scandalous state of things remains to be presented. By an act of the American Congress, not yet two years old, slavery has been nationalized in its most horrible and revolting form. By that act, Mason and Dixon's line has been obliterated; New York has become as Virginia; and the power to hold, hunt, and sell men, women and children, as slaves, remains no longer a mere state institution, but is now an institution of the whole United States. The power is co-extensive with the star-spangled banner, and American Christianity. Where these go, may also go the merciless slave-hunter. Where these are, man is not sacred. He is a bird for the sportsman's gun. By that most foul and fiendish of all human decrees, the liberty and person of every man are put in peril. Your broad republican domain is hunting ground for men. Not for thieves and robbers, enemies of society, merely, but for men guilty of no crime. Your law-makers have commanded all good citizens to engage in this hellish sport. Your President, your Secretary of State, your lords, nobles, and ecclesiastics enforce, as a duty you owe to your free and glorious country, and to your God, that you do this accursed thing. Not fewer than forty Americans have, within the past two years, been hunted down and, without a moment's warning, hurried away in chains, and consigned to slavery and excruciating torture. Some of these have had wives and children, dependent on them for bread; but of this, no account was made. The right of the hunter to his prey stands superior to the right of marriage, and to all rights in this republic, the rights of God included! For black men there is neither law nor justice, humanity nor religion. The Fugitive Slave Law makes mercy to them a crime; and bribes the judge who tries them. An American judge gets ten dollars for every victim he consigns to slavery, and five, when he fails to do so. The oath of any two villains is sufficient, under this hell-black enactment, to send the most pious and exemplary black man into the remorseless jaws of slavery! His own testimony is nothing. He can bring no witnesses for himself. The minister of American justice is bound by the law to hear but one side; and that side is the side of the oppressor. Let this damning fact be perpetually told. Let it be thundered around the world that in tyrant-killing, king-hating, people-loving, democratic, Christian America the seats of justice are filled with judges who hold their offices under an open and palpable bribe, and are bound, in deciding the case of a man's liberty, to hear only his accusers! Is this the land your Fathers loved,
The freedom which they toiled to win?
Is this the earth whereon they moved?
Are these the graves they slumber in?
In glaring violation of justice, in shameless disregard of the forms of administering law, in cunning arrangement to entrap the defenceless, and in diabolical intent this Fugitive Slave Law stands alone in the annals of tyrannical legislation. I doubt if there be another nation on the globe having the brass and the baseness to put such a law on the statute-book. If any man in this assembly thinks differently from me in this matter, and feels able to disprove my statements, I will gladly confront him at any suitable time and place he may select.
I take this law to be one of the grossest infringements of Christian Liberty, and, if the churches and ministers of our country were nor stupidly blind, or most wickedly indifferent, they, too, would so regard it.
At the very moment that they are thanking God for the enjoyment of civil and religious liberty, and for the right to worship God according to the dictates of their own consciences, they are utterly silent in respect to a law which robs religion of its chief significance and makes it utterly worthless to a world lying in wickedness. Did this law concern the "mint, anise, and cummin"-abridge the right to sing psalms, to partake of the sacrament, or to engage in any of the ceremonies of religion, it would be smitten by the thunder of a thousand pulpits. A general shout would go up from the church demanding repeal, repeal, instant repeal!-And it would go hard with that politician who presumed to so licit the votes of the people without inscribing this motto on his banner. Further, if this demand were not complied with, another Scotland would be added to the history of religious liberty, and the stern old covenanters would be thrown into the shade. A John Knox would be seen at every church door and heard from every pulpit, and Fillmore would have no more quarter than was shown by Knox to the beautiful, but treacherous, Queen Mary of Scotland. The fact that the church of our country (with fractional exceptions) does not esteem "the Fugitive Slave Law" as a declaration of war against religious liberty, im plies that that church regards religion simply as a form of worship, an empty ceremony, and not a vital principle, requiring active benevolence, justice, love, and good will towards man. It esteems sacrifice above mercy; psalm-singing above right doing; solemn meetings above practical righteousness. A worship that can be conducted by persons who refuse to give shelter to the houseless, to give bread to the hungry, clothing to the naked, and who enjoin obedience to a law forbidding these acts of mercy is a curse, not a blessing to mankind. The Bible addresses all such persons as "scribes, pharisees, hypocrites, who pay tithe ofÝ mint, anise, and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith."
But the church of this country is not only indifferent to the wrongs of the slave, it actually takes sides with the oppressors. It has made itself the bulwark of American slavery, and the shield of American slave-hunters. Many of its most eloquent Divines, who stand as the very lights of the church, have shamelessly given the sanction of religion and the Bible to the whole slave system. They have taught that man may, properly, be a slave; that the relation of master and slave is ordained of God; that to send back an escaped bondman to his master is clearly the duty of all the followers of the Lord Jesus Christ; and this horrible blasphemy is palmed off upon the world for Christianity.
For my part, I would say, welcome infidelity! welcome atheism! welcome anything! in preference to the gospel, as preached by those Divines! They convert the very name of religion into an engine of tyranny and barbarous cruelty, and serve to confirm more infidels, in this age, than all the infidel writings of Thomas Paine, Voltaire, and Bolingbroke put together have done! These ministers make religion a cold and flinty-hearted thing, having neither principles of right action nor bowels of compassion. They strip the love of God of its beauty and leave the throne of religion a huge, horrible, repulsive form. It is a religion for oppressors, tyrants, man-stealers, and thugs. It is not that "pure and undefiled religion" which is from above, and which is "first pure, then peaceable, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and with out hypocrisy." But a religion which favors the rich against the poor; which exalts the proud above the humble; which divides mankind into two classes, tyrants and slaves; which says to the man in chains, stay there; and to the oppressor, oppress on; it is a religion which may be professed and enjoyed by all the robbers and enslavers of mankind; it makes God a respecter of persons, denies his fatherhood of the race, and tramples in the dust the great truth of the brotherhood of man. All this we affirm to be true of the popular church, and the popular worship of our land and nation-a religion, a church, and a worship which, on the authority of inspired wisdom, we pronounce to be an abomination in the sight of God. In the language of Isaiah, the American church might be well addressed, "Bring no more vain oblations; incense is an abomination unto me: the new moons and Sabbaths, the calling of assemblies, I cannot away with; it is iniquity, even the solemn meeting. Your new moons, and your appointed feasts my soul hateth. They are a trouble to me; I am weary to bear them; and when ye spread forth your hands I will hide mine eyes from you. Yea' when ye make many prayers, I will not hear. Your hands are full of blood; cease to do evil, learn to do well; seek judgment; relieve the oppressed; judge for the fatherless; plead for the widow."
The American church is guilty, when viewed in connection with what it is doing to uphold slavery; but it is superlatively guilty when viewed in its connection with its ability to abolish slavery.
The sin of which it is guilty is one of omission as well as of commission. Albert Barnes but uttered what the common sense of every man at all observant of the actual state of the case will receive as truth, when he declared that "There is no power out of the church that could sustain slavery an hour, if it were not sustained in it."
Let the religious press, the pulpit, the Sunday School, the conference meeting, the great ecclesiastical, missionary, Bible and tract associations of the land array their immense powers against slavery, and slave-holding; and the whole system of crime and blood would be scattered to the winds, and that they do not do this involves them in the most awful responsibility of which the mind can conceive.
In prosecuting the anti-slavery enterprise, we have been asked to spare the church, to spare the ministry; but how, we ask, could such a thing be done? We are met on the threshold of our efforts for the redemption of the slave, by the church and ministry of the country, in battle arrayed against us; and we are compelled to fight or flee. From what quarter, I beg to know, has proceeded a fire so deadly upon our ranks, during the last two years, as from the Northern pulpit? As the champions of oppressors, the chosen men of American theology have appeared-men honored for their so-called piety, and their real learning. The Lords of Buffalo, the Springs of New York, the Lathrops of Auburn, the Coxes and Spencers of Brooklyn, the Gannets and Sharps of Boston, the Deweys of Washington, and other great religious lights of the land have, in utter denial of the authority of Him by whom they professed to be called to the ministry, deliberately taught us, against the example of the Hebrews, and against the remonstrance of the Apostles, that we ought to obey man's law before the law of God.2
My spirit wearies of such blasphemy; and how such men can be supported, as the "standing types and representatives of Jesus Christ," is a mystery which I leave others to penetrate. In speaking of the American church, however, let it be distinctly understood that I mean the great mass of the religious organizations of our land. There are exceptions, and I thank God that there are. Noble men may be found, scattered all over these Northern States, of whom Henry Ward Beecher, of Brooklyn; Samuel J. May, of Syracuse; and my esteemed friend (Rev. R. R. Raymond) on the platform, are shining examples; and let me say further, that, upon these men lies the duty to inspire our ranks with high religious faith and zeal, and to cheer us on in the great mission of the slave's redemption from his chains.
One is struck with the difference between the attitude of the American church towards the anti-slavery movement, and that occupied by the churches in Eng land towards a similar movement in that country. There, the church, true to its mission of ameliorating, elevating and improving the condition of mankind, came forward promptly, bound up the wounds of the West Indian slave, and re stored him to his liberty. There, the question of emancipation was a high religious question. It was demanded in the name of humanity, and according to the law of the living God. The Sharps, the Clarksons, the Wilberforces, the Buxtons, the Burchells, and the Knibbs were alike famous for their piety and for their philanthropy. The anti-slavery movement there was not an anti-church movement, for the reason that the church took its full share in prosecuting that movement: and the anti-slavery movement in this country will cease to be an anti-church movement, when the church of this country shall assume a favorable instead of a hostile position towards that movement.
Americans! your republican politics, not less than your republican religion, are flagrantly inconsistent. You boast of your love of liberty, your superior civilization, and your pure Christianity, while the whole political power of the nation (as embodied in the two great political parties) is solemnly pledged to support and perpetuate the enslavement of three millions of your countrymen. You hurl your anathemas at the crowned headed tyrants of Russia and Austria and pride yourselves on your Democratic institutions, while you yourselves consent to be the mere tools and body-guards of the tyrants of Virginia and Carolina. You invite to your shores fugitives of oppression from abroad, honor them with banquets, greet them with ovations, cheer them, toast them, salute them, protect them, and pour out your money to them like water; but the fugitives from oppression in your own land you advertise, hunt, arrest, shoot, and kill. You glory in your refinement and your universal education; yet you maintain a system as barbarous and dreadful as ever stained the character of a nation-a system begun in avarice, supported in pride, and perpetuated in cruelty. You shed tears over fallen Hungary, and make the sad story of her wrongs the theme of your poets, statesmen, and orators, till your gallant sons are ready to fly to arms to vindicate her cause against the oppressor; but, in regard to the ten thousand wrongs of the American slave, you would enforce the strictest silence, and would hail him as an enemy of the nation who dares to make those wrongs the subject of public discourse! You are all on fire at the mention of liberty for France or for Ireland; but are as cold as an iceberg at the thought of liberty for the enslaved of America. You discourse eloquently on the dignity of labor; yet, you sustain a system which, in its very essence, casts a stigma upon labor. You can bare your bosom to the storm of British artillery to throw off a three-penny tax on tea; and yet wring the last hard earned farthing from the grasp of the black laborers of your country. You profess to believe "that, of one blood, God made all nations of men to dwell on the face of all the earth," and hath commanded all men, everywhere, to love one another; yet you notoriously hate (and glory in your hatred) all men whose skins are not colored like your own. You declare before the world, and are understood by the world to declare that you "hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal; and are endowed by their Creator with certain in alienable rights; and that among these are, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness; and yet, you hold securely, in a bondage which, according to your own Thomas Jefferson, "is worse than ages of that which your fathers rose in rebellion to oppose," a seventh part of the inhabitants of your country.
Fellow-citizens, I will not enlarge further on your national inconsistencies. The existence of slavery in this country brands your republicanism as a sham, your humanity as a base pretense, and your Christianity as a lie. It destroys your moral power abroad: it corrupts your politicians at home. It saps the foundation of religion; it makes your name a hissing and a bye-word to a mocking earth. It is the antagonistic force in your government, the only thing that seriously disturbs and endangers your Union. it fetters your progress; it is the enemy of improvement; the deadly foe of education; it fosters pride; it breeds insolence; it promotes vice; it shelters crime; it is a curse to the earth that supports it; and yet you cling to it as if it were the sheet anchor of all your hopes. Oh! be warned! be warned! a horrible reptile is coiled up in your nation's bosom; the venomous creature is nursing at the tender breast of your youthful republic; for the love of God, tear away, and fling from you the hideous monster, and let the weight of twenty millions crush and destroy it forever!
But it is answered in reply to all this, that precisely what I have now denounced is, in fact, guaranteed and sanctioned by the Constitution of the United States; that, the right to hold, and to hunt slaves is a part of that Constitution framed by the illustrious Fathers of this Republic.
Then, I dare to affirm, notwithstanding all I have said before, your fathers stooped, basely stoopedTo palter with us in a double sense:And instead of being the honest men I have before declared them to be, they were the veriest impostors that ever practised on mankind. This is the inevitable conclusion, and from it there is no escape; but I differ from those who charge this baseness on the framers of the Constitution of the United States. It is a slander upon their memory, at least, so I believe. There is not time now to argue the constitutional question at length; nor have I the ability to discuss it as it ought to be discussed. The subject has been handled with masterly power by Lysander Spooner, Esq. by William Goodell, by Samuel E. Sewall, Esq., and last, though not least, by Gerrit Smith, Esq. These gentlemen have, as I think, fully and clearly vindicated the Constitution from any design to support slavery for an hour.
And keep the word of promise to the ear,
But break it to the heart.
Fellow-citizens! there is no matter in respect to which the people of the North have allowed themselves to be so ruinously imposed upon as that of the pro-slavery character of the Constitution. In that instrument I hold there is neither warrant, license, nor sanction of the hateful thing; but interpreted, as it ought to be interpreted, the Constitution is a glorious liberty document. Read its preamble, consider its purposes. Is slavery among them? Is it at the gate way? or is it in the temple? it is neither. While I do not intend to argue this question on the present occasion, let me ask, if it be not somewhat singular that, if the Constitution were intended to be, by its framers and adopters, a slaveholding instrument, why neither slavery, slaveholding, nor slave can any where be found in it. What would be thought of an instrument, drawn up, legally drawn up, for the purpose of entitling the city of Rochester to a tract of land, in which no mention of land was made? Now, there are certain rules of interpretation for the proper understanding of all legal instruments. These rules are well established. They are plain, commonsense rules, such as you and I, and all of us, can understand and apply, without having passed years in the study of law. I scout the idea that the question of the constitutionality, or unconstitutionality of slavery, is not a question for the people. I hold that every American citizen has a right to form an opinion of the constitution, and to propagate that opinion, and to use all honorable means to make his opinion the prevailing one. Without this right, the liberty of an American citizen would be as insecure as that of a Frenchman. Ex-Vice-President Dallas tells us that the constitution is an object to which no American mind can be too attentive, and no American heart too devoted. He further says, the Constitution, in its words, is plain and intelligible, and is meant for the home-bred, unsophisticated understandings of our fellow-citizens. Senator Berrien tells us that the Constitution is the fundamental law, that which controls all others. The charter of our liberties, which every citizen has a personal interest in understanding thoroughly. The testimony of Senator Breese, Lewis Cass, and many others that might be named, who are everywhere esteemed as sound lawyers, so regard the constitution. I take it, therefore, that it is not presumption in a private citizen to form an opinion of that instrument.
Now, take the Constitution according to its plain reading, and I defy the presentation of a single pro-slavery clause in it. On the other hand, it will be found to contain principles and purposes, entirely hostile to the existence of slavery.
I have detained my audience entirely too long already. At some future period I will gladly avail myself of an opportunity to give this subject a full and fair discussion.
Allow me to say, in conclusion, notwithstanding the dark picture I have this day presented, of the state of the nation, I do not despair of this country. There are forces in operation which must inevitably work the downfall of slavery.
"The arm of the Lord is not shortened," and the doom of slavery is certain. I, therefore, leave off where I began, with hope. While drawing encouragement from "the Declaration of Independence," the great principles it contains, and the genius of American Institutions, my spirit is also cheered by the obvious tendencies of the age. Nations do not now stand in the same relation to each other that they did ages ago. No nation can now shut itself up from the surrounding world and trot round in the same old path of its fathers without interference. The time was when such could be done. Long established customs of hurtful character could formerly fence themselves in, and do their evil work with social impunity. Knowledge was then confined and enjoyed by the privileged few, and the multitude walked on in mental darkness. But a change has now come over the affairs of mankind. Walled cities and empires have become unfashionable. The arm of commerce has borne away the gates of the strong city. Intelligence is penetrating the darkest corners of the globe. It makes its pathway over and under the sea, as well as on the earth. Wind, steam, and lightning are its chartered agents. Oceans no longer divide, but link nations together. From Boston to London is now a holiday excursion. Space is comparatively annihilated.-Thoughts expressed on one side of the Atlantic are distinctly heard on the other.
The far off and almost fabulous Pacific rolls in grandeur at our feet. The Celestial Empire, the mystery of ages, is being solved. The fiat of the Almighty, "Let there be Light," has not yet spent its force. No abuse, no outrage whether in taste, sport or avarice, can now hide itself from the all-pervading light. The iron shoe, and crippled foot of China must be seen in contrast with nature. Africa must rise and put on her yet unwoven garment. "Ethiopia shall stretch out her hand unto God." In the fervent aspirations of William Lloyd Garrison, I say, and let every heart join in saying it:God speed the year of jubilee
The wide world o'er!
When from their galling chains set free,
Th' oppress'd shall vilely bend the knee,
And wear the yoke of tyranny
Like brutes no more.
That year will come, and freedom's reign.
To man his plundered rights again
Restore.
God speed the day when human blood
Shall cease to flow!
In every clime be understood,
The claims of human brotherhood,
And each return for evil, good,
Not blow for blow;
That day will come all feuds to end,
And change into a faithful friend
Each foe.
Back To History Is A Weapon's Front PageThursday, June 30, 2011
Flip, Flopping
My step-father would tell me as I was growing-up that repressed memory syndrome would not hold up in court. This went on until I cut off all contact with them a few years ago. I never said anything at all during my life. When he said this to me I would take pause and think to myself, why? Why does he insist on doing this to me? Why must we have these dreaded encounters that only include the grilling questions of what I remember as a child? What do they continue to cover up that has them this obsessed with my life? In actuality when did I ever have the opportunity to forget and even get repressed memory whatever its called? Simultaneously as the grilling questions of the countless encounters I would be slammed to the ground for the sake of impact? And to be told repeatedly that with nothing that I remember would hold up in a court of law and anything that I remember is a down right lie about my mother and him anyway. Where do they think that this would eventually leave me?
I would love to tell you that this ended at 18 when I ran away, but no, from the advice of all the normal people in the world, I was told that I should not hold my parents accountable but should readily forgive them of any indiscretions that may have happened growing-up. So I have stayed in touch with them never spilling the beans for years. In fact, I never said anything, I mean why bother, suppressed memory syndrome will not hold up in court and anything I do say would be just a lie anyway. Did I say that already? I seemed to have been able to get that one down very well. Do you know that I cannot tell you how many times he said that to me during my life. Do you know how hard I have tried to let it all go because of how lopsided it all has been. There are more of them then me. All of society encourages you to "let it go," "get over it," "don't talk about it," "its depressing, I don't want to know," "nobody cares it was years ago, so what, you got raped, get a grip," these are the things that I have been told in the past two years. Trust me on this one simple fact, I DON'T WANT TO REMEMBER or DEAL WITH ANY OF THIS EITHER ! But nobody in my life will let it go, so here I am, telling you my story because I need to find peace of mind. I no longer care about what anybody else thinks, believe me or don't believe me, it makes no difference to me because it never did cross my mind that I would not be believed. All you have to do is meet these people and the proof is in the pudding. I never did talk about it because I am horribly embarrassed by my family and there lack of sexual control. Hiding your actions is so important, I mean God forbid someone found out that you married a woman 14 years older so you could rape her three children, that had already been raped by the deserting father, or so it seemed. My step-father to this day is undoing all the things he has ever done to me. He told me two and a half years ago over a civilized lunch, you know where we "let it all go and get over things," the advice you hear given to anyone who stands against incest, rape, molestation, suffocation, being snuffed, beatings, shall I go on? Back to the civilized lunch, that my step-father still feels compelled to tell me that he never beat me, nor did he ever lay a hand on me, which that part was true, it was usually his arm around my neck choking me, not his hand around my throat. I think that may have been my brother. My step-father always used his belt, never his hand to hit me. I think they called it a spanking not a beating. Spare the rod, spoil the child, if I remember correctly. I would venture to go out on a limb and say that 30-40 licks with a belt might qualify as a beating. Welts that took weeks to go down seemed a little more like what one would refer to as a beating not a spanking. Oh, and lets not forget where he lost control and the buckle drove itself into my skin.
So what do you say when people just don't understand that you are compelled to bring justice into your life? Do you say, "shut the fuck up, I am doing this for myself and my own peace of mind because I am sick of the bombardment on my life from these same people today." Do you say, "Gosh, my kids are there and I cannot do anything about it because I was so stupid so long ago and took all the advice I was given about forgiveness and now my children are suffering at the hands of these monsters?" Oh wait, they will come up with, "You could go to court and do something if its that bad and if its true?" I would say to them they are so completely right but the problem is that I never dealt with the trauma myself and I ran out of money trying to uphold the visitation agreement with my ex-husband, it was then he started to take them to be with my mother. The same mother that will tell you, confession by my second daughter, that she can say that her Grandmother my mother, still to this day or I guess it was a few years now, but just the same, that my says that I am full of demons, that I am possessed and that I am the spawn of Satan, all per my second daughters experience at my mothers home a few years back. Do you think that that is a healthy environment? Of course, since nobody would talk or tell you if they were put under scrutiny that this was happening, there is no way to prove it so there for its not happening and I made it up. All accept for the fact that my two oldest daughters must be interviewed also and then you would find out that they have nothing to do with my mother or family for these reasons. So now I have to deal with the horror, the fear, the fright, the flashbacks and the reality that I ran as fast as could to get away from what was causing me so much pain and agony at eighteen years old. Its like playing catch-up, I can't wage a war unless I am fit to war.
I know what my life's calling is. I have been aware of it since I was young, yet nobody supports a life that calls you into the limelight to tell on others. For those of you that are unaware of the ramafications of such actions, you become a traitor to the family. Not a good thing to do usually, especially when so much is at stake. You see abuse runs in families, family's like mine. But my mother had a church, that was a cult, so does it not come to light that it would run in the congregation too? You have incest, molestation, pedophilia, religious abuse, neglect of a severe nature and you have all that I have written up to now on this blog to guide your way through to here. It is a lot of stuff, to much for most to even bother themselves to acknowledge that there is a problem anywhere, let alone right here in front of them. Most turn their backs because the reality of bringing to light such a case is embarrassing for everyone around, so its better to bury it. The burial has been going for as long as I can remember. Some people that were directly involved have run off to different corners of the world and believe that if they live there life from there on forward differently, than they will never get caught for there involvement in such horrific acts. The upper class don't want to dirty there hands in it because they donated money to the non-profit that my family runs. Such dismissal on there part is nothing more than killing the story before it can be told. It is sad to think that all of this runs in the blood of the children that grow up to repeat the entire process of neglect and sexual abuse again. This just runs from generation to generation, just like it did with my father and then my brother. For some reason my step-father believes he cannot be held accountable for anything. As long as he has plausible deniability than not a court in the land can prosecute him. He is correct. For all of these years and for all the pain-staking hours that I have spent under their scrutiny to see if I remember and to say that they did nothing is all to there benefit. Not a court in the land will find them guilty of anything, for they have done nothing wrong as far as they are concerned. They never manipulated or fornicated with church members or with children, they are free and clear, because they said that they are not guilty and cannot ever be held accountable based on repressed memory syndrome. Aren't you pleased? Don't you now find that you can breathe easier knowing that they cannot be held accountable by any court of law? I know that I find great relief in knowing that they were stupid enough to have said this to me so many times that I can now tell you, there is no way in Hell I could have forgotten anything. I was never given the opportunity to have suppressed memories when all they did was remind me every day that nobody would ever believe me.
I have spent years trying to decide if I should follow my life and the direction of which it calls me. I have puzzled through many times trying to decide if it would be worth it to stand independently and alone against these monsters. I have spent hours in quiet solitude trying to rationalize my silence as I watched them continue there abuse on my life. I agonized over telling anyone the truth of the horrors which I just happen to have survived. I silenced myself when I decided that the world was not interested in child abuse, neglect, incest or molestation in the eighties when I came of age. I decided if the world could not raise an eyebrow to this, then how on earth would I tell anyone of what was worse, trying to survive your own death? Certainly nobody would believe me, let alone be interested as to why I had to fight so hard just to live. It all makes sense when you put it all together. You see they were trying to kill me because they had fucked me and I was a baby, the youngest in the household, I was a child, I had no defenses, oh yea, and I made them feel guilty when they looked at me, like I don't know that or I have never been aware. They hate me, I don't know a different way to put it, other than to tell you that I don't remember my family not hating me. How then could I ever grow-up to inform anyone of such abuse without having to tell the horrors of my survival of having a plastic bag put over my head to have my life taken from me. Who would believe me? Who could I tell? I had tried to tell an Elementary School Principle once. They immediately called my parents and had a good laugh about me making things up and confusing real life with nightmares. Of course, my wonderful and caring parents failed to mention to the principle at the time that I had been taken to a shrink at three years old because I stopped talking to anyone at all. Do you think that would have made the difference for me? Do you know how badly beaten I was by my step-father for talking? So, badly that I never spoke again, until now and I still shake with fear of reprisal. Have you ever feared anything that has caused you to silence yourself for forty some years? Are you so out of touch with what I am saying that all you can do is to read and double click away, saying, "That can't have happened." Or do you feel compelled to tell me to "Get over it?" I am curious, because today my truth is your nightmare.
Abuse runs a course in a family. It is perpetuated by the silence of the abused and the abusers for obvious reasons. Unless people begin to realize that it is a voice like mine with an incredible and unbelievable story that can be proved just by introducing yourself to my family members and coming to your own conclusions. You need to go and say hello to my mother, to my step-father, to my siblings, to my father, ask the tough questions, watch there faces and listen to there reactions. Know that it is in your court, not mine, I volley and say to you, I would not go to a court of law for justice in this matter if you payed me to attend. Justice in my life comes from the truth that I write to you. You see, you are in danger, not I . I have survived the abuse, neglect and torture but the perpetrators are still active and remember this all runs its course by the abused becoming abusers. Now you can be scared and wonder, "Do they live next door to me?" That is the question you need to ask yourself today. I cannot stop them, nobody will listen to me, but I bet today you will. I am not on the line anymore. I have no desire to sue these people for the rampage they have done to my life. They believe that its all about money for me, its not, it is about the truth being told and holding accountable the liars that have stolen so much from so many people in my life. The only reason I am doing this is to finally tell the truth about my fears, my anxieties, my nightmares and to ensure that in my family, with my children that this ugliness of abusive neglect and sexual promiscuity does not perpetuate itself. The buck stops here with this one. I stand in defense of no one, but I stand in the honor of myself to say to you and to the world that I am not an abuser but I come from abusers that nobody is interested in stopping, all because I have to prove it. I don't need to prove that two people committed suicide, that trust funds have been lost, that wills have been changed, the proof is not needed by me, I experienced it all live. I am telling you in all honesty and with fervor, I have to prove nothing because I wear the pain and agony of what they have done to my life everyday. I live the nightmare, it is my life, regardless of how sad you may find to be, I know no other way. I was born into this life, I fight for what I believe is right. It is wrong to do what they have done to me but that is for me to deal with and live through each day, not you.
I do not need a scape-goat, nor do I need to find blame for any of this that has happened. The blame lies in the laps of the people that have done these things to me. No proof is needed, it is as easy to see as it is to see the hurt and devastation on me. But this is not mine to carry anymore, I testify to my own life and my endeavor to follow my calling in continuing to hold a vigil for myself, my survival and my truth to help the fallen.Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
1.
Saturday, December 8, 2018
When I Cry I Choke!! Part III
Add.'1
I bet that since not one person has done anything to stop the molestation of children as we enter adulthood and our body memories whelp to every action of our shoulders that men have to use Viagra to make their wood work is a direct result of every thought of every child that has been sodomized. Tam, why don't you admit that you rolled-over in your bed while Ed sodomized me in my bed using the sheets to hide his crime? Why don't you admit to the local Police Station that you are a witness of such a horrific crime? Is that related to the horrible abuse that you have done too?
This is the direct relation to what is autism. Autism is the result of sexual molestation before words and in the wake it shows with only the stain. The yelling of disappointment all at the age of potty trained is the direct dial to that call of failure as the person whom is doing the training? No, it is direct communication that there is a perpetrator in the home.
Men can continue to call their lack of luster to the unknown however I know that I stopped my brother from fucking me between my bed-sheets by saying "I know where the knives are and now I know you sleep too" in a dead cold shout. The immediate jump of by older brother made his eyes memory and upon his return in October of this year 2018 he told me I would need a gun, I said "I don't need a gun I have canned goods". These responses at the time I admit did not immediately connect to the action of what would be done however making that stick unable to work was defining as that is where my brain connected.
To say that Viagra is a drug is to understand that should that in-addition go with the rise of Autism than the imagine shouts to Mankind in the United States of America that you have no residence. Enough thought and staved look to the balls of man than their stick would lop and those ears between their head may provide a good listen instead of the 'Wham Bam thank you mam' method of operation that has left all of us youngs to the abusive natures of siblings, step-parents and subsequently for others, babysitters from not only the U.S.A. but also from all over the world. Please compare kindly and not with hatred of simply the identification of what would happen when not one adult goes to the nines to stop the abuse. Tamara is my older sister and is witness, she also cannot sleep as an adult without the television going as the point of listen can be drowned out now, what would have taken thought to conviction? Consequence or reality that delivered Tamara the facts that she was so much older and could have done something as soon as she turned 18 years old. Instead she took-off to New York and then complained and dropped-out. Tam, why do you laugh with such a hideous criminal base as you brag of sticking diaper pins through my waist? What bravo's that illness in your adulthood? Could it as shown easily in physics be the fact that you in addition add the chopping response that I was your real-live-baby-doll? By the way, I have been told what girls do to their baby-dolls and it's bad.
Now increase the parameter. The world at-large, people from around the world hate Americans and the best way to destroy a country is to emasculate it by making all men eunuchs. What goes along with such inaction is fighting and the destruction of the family structure.
Physics the 'String theory' as two times the power-of equals sodomy at the level of molested at the floor-of a basement review to equal the bedroom between the sheets of type written!! All by the finish that parallel lines make a perpendicular angle to the right obtuse to box it as the very first Rubik's cube, as what is Alzheimer's Disease? The fact that the old forgets, or, is it the fact that the Old have not had the words as in revelations is it not all about the seed? Or, is Alzheimer's Disease adult Autism? As the autistic-spectrum again relies on the measurement, the measure of abuse does make ready the prison of silence as that is the Fiorinal (furanol) price(d).
2 x P(b,f,b) = S ><M + FB(r) = B.s x T.w > Sol.(solved.01)
For your measure, information is not just memory its pictured:
All these things begin to add up, it's called math.
December 7, 2018 is the date of today, I am caught in a dark stare, the white sheet, a type-written task as text has no-words, it is. At time of before I had words to say that sheets were even white I mind the horror as sodomy, this is the cause, the cause of autism is that time in mourning, stuck in the stare of your own mind as the brain is unable to computerize the shit, for what is defecation? The adults shift to another complex tire as the evening cleared the sheets to white and yet there it is, the poo, the worms, the words. A day passes and the school said note to microphone, the Principle makes the call, the parents say upon the visit to her office at Frank McCoppin, nightmares plague the child, words. Home straddles the Master Bedroom at 815, in each corner the adults stand-off with my older siblings, words.
My eyes now know 'dirty girl', 'Poo', 'bedding', nightmares. Words come to the basement storage of my mind as my brain begins to connect the synapse to dot, an etch a sketch makes more, lines. Each Spiral paper for the game of Warner Bros. draw, lines, geometry, pastel, papers. The crayons are not pastels it is the colored pen, painting, poo, drawn. Before the age of forget memory forms for the two feet and swallowing, breathing and needing. The glass of forget is reality, words. In the beginning the word is not for the frost of ice cream or the bowl of spoons that make eating more than poo, what is that white? The sheets blank nothing as the cold felt is that pressure, the suffocation, sodomy is a word that is not known, poo is.
Sodomy is not the easily found sexual abuse that is seen with anything other that you are not potty trained, you had a nightmare, you have a brain, toilets, flush. The words know worms, wriggling I state as today is December 7th, 2018, sodomy causes autism. A type-written paper that is blank as words are the film of my blinking mind braining for the first time since my birth on this subject of: We are not strong, resilient and creative survivors with unique needs that must be met with knowledgeable responses or specialized responses, or are we?
1.2.3.4.4.5.6.7.
8.9.
War or Battle is a card game typically played by two players. It uses a standard playing card deck in decreasing order is: A K Q J 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2. Due to its simplicity, it is played most often by children. WikipediaPlay: ClockwiseCard rank (highest first): A J K Q J 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2Players: 2Random chance: Complete13.Card: 5210.Go Fish or Fish is a card game usually played by two to five players, although it can be played with up to 10 players. It can be played in about 5 to 15 minutes. WikipediaCard: 52Deck: Anglo–American–FrenchPlay: Variable sequencePlayers: 2–10Age range: 4+12.Skills required: Decision making, memory11.Posted 1 day ago by Karen PlacekMonday, June 27, 2011
Wounded Mind, Fractured Brain
What did you say?
Don't take it personally.
Hhmm, I thought to myself for a moment in silence. I started to say something but I stopped myself. I felt like it would be a moot point because I had already taken in personally, I just did not want to explain any further.
I just cannot take all the yelling. I was yelled and screamed at as a kid, so its difficult for me.
Just scream back!
I stared for a longer amount of time. I am not comfortable yelling at anyone, let alone a complete stranger. I said that I had to go, got on my bike, turned my Sony music player on and road off. I just could not handle it a minute longer. My head was throbbing and my nerves were shot. Even being on my bike didn't seem to calm me down.
When I got back home I curled up in bed and closed my eyes. I had taken one of my pills because I could not take my brain, it was in so much pain. Flashbacks were not even flashbacks. It was ribbons of film ripping out of the reels and cutting itself on my brain matter. As I could here it go, "Click, click, click," like an old movie house when the film needs to be changed and it has run completely out of the projector.
I laid there until I fell asleep and dreamt of the nightmare of my life. I woke in a panic, gasping for air and thinking I was still where I had just been. Thank god I wasn't, I was at home again. I had made it back to the house without blacking out.
I have blacked out twice in the past two months. This is an experience that is not a pleasant one. I don't know if you are knowledgeable on what happens, but it is just miserable as an adult. You literally do not remember a thing. Both times I woke up throwing-up.
My mind has been so badly wounded but yesterday my brain fractured. It is like falling off a bicycle and re-breaking your leg. It broke in a weird way, pulled the brain tissue out and splat the memories poured out into the rest of my mind.
I began to think about the fact that people who have had knee replacement, hip replacement or just broke a bone in their arm or leg are treated so much more humanely than those of us with broken brains. I mean, if you are limping and somebody asks whats wrong and you reply,
Oh, I broke my leg last year and it is really bothering me today.
I'm sorry, that must have been so painful, how did you do it?
I was riding my bike and a car hit me when they ran a red light on Divisadero and O'Farrel Streets.
Oh my God! That is awful. Did you have to have surgery?
No, it was a compound fracture.
No wonder you are in so much pain, there is a storm coming in off, I heard it is going to rain.
Yea, it seems to get worse when the storms hit.
I read its the rain that really cause breaks to hurt.
Maybe your right, because after the rain finally comes it seem to get better, maybe its when the barometer drops.
Probably, I hope you feel better.
Thanks, I'm sure I will.
Whats your name?
James
My name is Annie.
It is nice to meet you.
I'm sure we will talk soon, especially since we seem to be in the same Chef's Class.
Yea, your right, talk to you soon.
A friendship begins all because somebody noticed someone limping in from outside into a classroom. Which is pretty cool, it was a conversation starter, a way to meet someone new that you did not know and in all reality might develop a friendship with or more. In our case, our minds have been fractured or at the very least, very badly wounded. Sometimes we look sad or despondent, we might look relatively normal, even be smiling but the pain inside is always there for us because we cannot seem to get through it. It just hurts, sometimes it hurts really bad and sometimes it just there but either way we have a fracture of the mind. It doesn't mean that we have split personality, we just are wounded people that nobody ever seems to see. We don't limp, we cry, we don't complain, we are silent, we don't look for sympathy, we would rather forget and even with all of that we still get accused of looking for pity or for someone just to say, "I'm sorry for your life."
The thing is our injury is no different than a broken bone. When the rain comes it usually has a different name, in my case, it is when the night comes. As the afternoon wanes and night approaches the same thing that happened to James with his broken leg happens to me, I am in pain. I limp differently, I get quiet and begin to stare off in the distance. My mind goes to places that are not in my control. I start night dreaming and I am not asleep yet. I begin to become anxious about the fact I will have to go to sleep soon, I start pacing and getting up and down. It is very obvious something is wrong, it seems to be written all over my face.
In the past people have asked me what is wrong,
Are you O.k.
Yes, I'm fine.
You don't look O.k. you are kind of white, do you need a drink of water? Whats going on?
Oh, its nothing really, I had a troublesome childhood and I get a little nervous as the sun goes down.
Hhmm, Oh, I better find a seat.
I am making this scenario up and just presenting a theory of why it is so difficult for us to get better. I am not sure what experience you have had with other people but mine has been the moment somebody finds out that I have had a troublesome youth I am told,
"Well there are people with worse lives, I'm sure."
And that happens before they even know what has happened to me. Or, my other favorite,
"Well you should think about today and the fact you are not a child anymore." "Where does your family live?"
Regardless we all know that nobody wants to know if you have had a problem with your childhood. But like a broken bone, we too need some healing and are healing should involve meeting strangers that can be sympathetic without being obnoxious with pity which most of us really don't want anyway. We don't want your pity it just makes us feel worse for even mentioning the reason that we have turned this lovely ashen color. Just like you pull muscles and ligaments with a break, we pull the same things in our brain when we are injured with your words.
Don't take it personally, its just the way he is.
I hate that saying because I do take it personally and why are we the ones that should be quiet and not the ones that others say, "Don't take it personally, they rage, its just the way they are." No, in our case we must be the perfect host and hostess for society, at all costs, which is always the toll that we pay for ourselves. We shouldn't have to pay for you too. I think that yesterday a person fractured and old break in my mind with his words, (Imagining it is like a break in your arm, a hairline fracture) the way he walked, all the screaming, with the yelling and with the lack of empathy towards a very badly hurt human being. He broke open what had healed shut so long ago. The memories are now the reality with all of the pieces back in place in my mind of a very particular time in my life. I have never been able to figure it out. It just broke and as my mind began to see what it was with such clarity, I began to realize that people don't want us to get better and get through the trauma, they just want us to get over it, forgetting what has happened to us. A big difference, don't you think? Why would people, strangers if you will want such a thing from us? Are we really that much work to be around? Normally we, as a collective are extremely hard workers and in general very quiet, so that can't be it. What is it? Are they afraid that they will have to get real in there life and hear a real story of abuse? Not just one on T.V. that you can donate to a foundation and make yourself feel better, almost as if you had done something for somebody?
Are we just a story or are we just material for the next horror movie or next weeks T.V. news brief on abuse and torture as a child? How do you survive the pain? Are we only an hour long Dr Phil or Oprah Show. Are we the movie "The Exorcism of Emily Rose." based on a real person that you never meet because she is dead? Are we the news caption on NBC next weeks morning show. Are we the mini-series that ABC is promoting for bigger ratings to sell more time share on the station. Are we just the example of what is never real and you only see on the television or the big screen? Are we nothing in comparison to you? Can we not be alive? Or are we only good enough to be gossiped about and feel sorry for if we happen to be dead at the point our story is told?
Wounded mind, fractured brain, that is me today. Keep saying the things that you are saying and my clarity will deepen within the confines of my mind, making the memories the reality that you will have to read.
The tragedy is that its all good for you if there is a screen between us. I make great dinner conversation, I make a great movie as long as I die in the end, I am fantastic gossip for those that love to spread the news of a troubled life, I make a great good-will story for somebody donating money to prevent suicide, I make Cocktail Parties more interesting when my mother attends, I make a great everything as long as I remain unseen or dead. But the reality of having to look at one us makes you feel uncomfortable because you are embarrassed about us in person, we evoke that reaction. So, the one thing that I really wanted in my life, which was to not be embarrassed all the time by what has happened to me, will never come to be. All because you cannot bare to see the tragic life of a person that is still alive and fighting like hell to get through this all with you. We bother you that much, but you bother me more, I'm not capable of being anyone but myself and I seem to bring you the horror of the reality that some kids live through the drownings, the beatings, the drugs given to them in their bottles, some kids make it, we survive to watch the trials of mothers like Casey Anthony, live on CNN. Just think, if her kid had made it, just like me, you wouldn't being having a trial with her mother, you would be turning your back and saying, "Some people have worse lives than you do, just get over it."
Some of us have those worse lives, some of us are me. I wrote this two years ago, when I first began to express on paper my pain, my wounded mind had begun to fracture. Breaking away the walls that kept this all so neat tidy for you, not for me. So that I could walk freely amongst you in society while never disturbing your mind, your brain or your life. How apropo this poem ends up to be today.
Prepare
Prepared for this since I was Five.
See not my face, my eyes don't lie.
In time, through grace, in space, in sine.
Know where, know place, I do not waste.
Don't help, don't stare, don't scream, don't share!
Despair of mine is no disgrace.
Just a time, in such thin space.
Hello, it's Me
I'm in my Head,
but I'm not dead.
What comes instead may cause you dread.
Move on, move out, don't run about.
The stream of words you bleed are out.
Not red, not green, not blue, know doubt,
It's not the money when I shout.
Hello, it's ME
It's ME,
You see?
The sky goes dark when you remark,
the hatred must! hit its mark.
No eyes you need, I bring you Heed!
Go blind, go hate, but don't be late.
For I am here and very near.
the fear that comes into my feet,
will carry me across, it's neat.
The cost is high,
so please, don't sigh.
Hello, It's me,
it's me,
do you see?
K.A.P.
4/28/2009
(Wouldn't it just be a funny kind of revenge if every poem I have written on this blog works into something I am writing presently and can be better understood than when the poem is standing alone. Just like the last three have shown to be. Strangely odd don't you think?)Know Noise, Silence Speaks with Volumes
Pictures Talk,play your own music.It's been seven years since my children and I were together, seven years ago..................................my Family of Origin or FOO. FOO is the more commonly known verbiage to Daughters of Malignant Narcissists. Anyway.............I couldn't believe my older sister just left me with her Lover in a R.V. Park in Dallas, TX!....................................................!"Ahhh..."(as I stumbled for my words) "I guess you can stay with me and I'll drive you back to the Airport?" (I was nervously spouting at her Lover)He said: ......................."Are you O.K.?"I said: "............................................"How do I tell my story? It keeps coming out in this stupid poetic verse. I wonder what would happen if I just did the same thing, don't think just write?Uhmm??????????I was brought up in a closed knit society. It was dark and filled with negativity. The adults were part of a church that was run out of the next door neighbor’s house at 811 Balboa Street. My family lived at 815 Balboa Street in San Francisco, California. The severe abuse and neglect began in this home.My mother is actually a cult leader not a minister, as she has had no formal training. My grandparents were pastors and attended the school of ministry for their official training. I want to say that it was for the 7th Day Adventists, but I may be wrong.Taking up where my grandparents never left off, my mother decided the demonization of her church would simple, inter-denominational. This allowed her to know no greater authority than herself. Although she would refer to her parents as the senior pastors in her church, they never knew the true facts on how the actual meetings went. When they visited from Oregon the church services had been so rehearsed it was almost ridiculous. To see so many people sober up so fast makes me know that they, being the congregation was aware and lucid of the fact the church was not normal. When my grandparents or strangers were not present in the church on O’Farrell and Divisadero, the sermons that my mother would give lasted six to seven hours long. Just like Jim Jones did (I met him once), they sounded a lot like that guy on cable t.v. that pays for his spots and just sits and talks forever about nothing. I am sure you all must know who I am talking about, he has been on t.v. for as long as I can remember. I used to think he must have been related to my mother, only difference was he is to lazy to stand and give his 1000 minute message. My mother would stand for hours, jumping around and preaching, about what I have no idea. I could not tell you anything, it was all not in any way understandable to anyone. Unless you were well versed in what was not being said, if that was the case then you would know that every message was and had only on intent, to brainwash the listener into giving everything he or she owned. Oh yea, I know more about sexual orgasms than I know any story in the bible. In fact I cannot even tell you the books of the bible, I know very little about anything biblical. Other than stories about Noah, Abraham and Sarah, Adam and Eve and what I know is, don’t be a kid to people like Abraham and Sarah because they will kill you so that god knows they listen, or something like that, needless to say death was made very real to me with that story, my mother made sure of it because I am meant to be the sacrificial lamb. Told to me every Easter of every year I can remember. The Adam and Eve taught me all about sex and an apple, to explain how when women eat a red apple they are thinking about making a man think about their vagina. I never did get that story quite right. But I am sure you get the point.It was odd when my Grandparents visited because the sermons were actually something I could follow. Oh course we are all going to die when the heavens rain down fire and brimstone on our heads and we translate back to Heaven. Basically you will die and that is that. But what really bugged when my grandparents visited was the entire congregation, a whopping 16 people in a place that could hold 175, was that my mother insisted they call them Papa and Nana. I would fume over this, I used to get so angry, I still am pissed-off that it happened. It’s bad enough growing up with people that demand your mother’s attention as if she is their mother, let alone, now they steal your grandparents too.Nobody ever thinks about the children of a cult leader, you go unnoticed, until there is a cry to arms by the leader to bring drama, excitement and pure unadulterated sin to the table. This is when you have the attention that you never wanted. You become the whipping child, and sure enough those new members whipped away on my brother and me. One particular painful moment happened when my brother tried to get up and leave the dining room table. My mother screamed, “Hold him down, and do not let him out.” Several of the parishioners’, conveniently on hand for dinner, not really they were standing like armed guards, jumped to her call and pinned him in his chair. I was across the table from my brother. Then my mother said, “Light a fire under his bottom.” My step-father leaps to the occasion with matches already in hand. He strikes the match and the flame burns hot, as he puts between the ladders on the ladder back chair he was sitting in. I had made it to that side of the table by then and blew it out. He shoved me out of the way so hard I was thrown into the wall. My step-father strikes another match and I made back up again to blow it out. By this time the order comes flying through the air, “grab her, stop her, light that fire or he will never learn to be obedient at this table.” A big man grabbed my arms from the back and held me off the ground. As the next match struck the back of the match case for the third time a match came to life with the flame burning bright. I watched in horror, struggling, screaming, yelling, kicking, spitting, and trying desperately to get back over to my brother so that his pants would not catch on fire. They did. That was that, I failed, they won, again. I can’t remember what happened after that, I just know he was on fire. We have never discussed these things, he and I, why bother, we were in Hell and still are living the existence we never asked to live from anyone. We were not recruits, we did not join, we were not manipulated into some stupid mind-set, and we were just the slave children of a Sociopath mother and a sadomasochistic step-father from England. All we did was survive that which is meant to be not survivable, so the professionals say.The next time that my brother tried to leave the house was the last time I remember living under the same roof as him. He made a mad dash for the back door; they had him between two sets of men, in the kitchen at 815 Balboa Street in San Francisco, California where police do nothing for the ones that are truly in trouble. On the stove there was a pot of boiling water. As he lunged for the door, my mother grabbed the pot and through it at him. All the parishioners at the time, again conveniently located at the house, were standing conveniently out of the way of the now pot of boiling water that is being thrown at my brother. I had been eating at the kitchen table on the very far side of it, near the back wall of the kitchen. Generally speaking this was a safer place to be. I was always faced to the room which prevented somebody walking up behind you and doing something you cannot see coming. As my brother was being corralled, I was trying to act relatively normally so I would not be caught up in the tangle of men. I sat calmly to try to figure out who was now the next target of entertainment for my mother. Picking the victim to excite her parishioners with that day, was always a big decision I guess. We were known as the defiant ones, my brother and I. We were not cooperative with our new step-father and our new found family members in this new found cult of my mothers. I felt like it was a prelude to how she was going to introduce the same type of behavior that those people would eventually practice on their children and or spouses. It proved to be correct. Regardless, for now it was my brother and I firing up the emotions of this cult that she was bringing together. Did you know that this is how they do it? You must have the supply or merchandise, ready to die, in order to plant the seed and have something over a stranger. We were the seed, that became the plant and nobody cared if we lived or died because we refused to pray to God. That was our collective sin. As I saw once again my brother being attacked I crawled down under the table to get out of the way. The now flying chairs and the table that was being shoved across the room and up against what stopped it, the wall where I had just been sitting.I looked up from the underneath of the table that I have now in the next room. I tried to see the next fist coming or set of hands getting ready to grab me, jerking me out into the open. I remember seeing my brothers eyes and watching as he shook his head vigorously at me. He was afraid I was coming out to fight his battle for him again. This time instead of moving I stayed still not realizing that all the adults in the room did not even know that I was present. The boiling water reached him, soaking his shirt and pants instantly. As soon as it did, the scurrying slowed as they seem to watch the reaction of such a horrid act. My mother whom I could see in plain sight had a look of delight on her face, I’ll never forget it. She was wearing a silky, long night gown, one that I could l use a match to light on fire and she would go up in flames. As my brother screamed and I stared, the moment stopped time for me. It is as if my brother new my thoughts about my mother, screaming, “don’t come out, don’t do it, stay down, stay safe, don’t fight.” He kept moving towards the back door, it was slow motion in strange time. Everyone had moved out of the way so that the boiling water did get them. This left an aisle straight out to the back yard. As he kept on, he looked at me one more time to see if I was looking at Mom or him. Out the door he went, so quick, crashing down the back stairs, you could hear him pounding the wall for balance. On his tail were all the men in the kitchen and dining room. I thought to myself, “go, run, don’t come back, never come back, I’ll remember, I’ll never forget, I will get them back, I will survive with the memories intact.” It was the last time I remember seeing my brother at all normally. He never returned to the house. I have seen him off and on through the years but he was never the same. Distant, broken, sad and just plain different, he never has looked at me the same. Almost like his mind cracked that day, split in two. Surviving was too much for him, yet he still is doing it, he lives on the streets of San Francisco. Now this is becoming to much for me. Forty-years later, I am tired and worn out with no place to go for safety, for peace, for happiness or for a roof over my head, but until now I have followed my brothers last request of me.You see when it is your mother and her partner, the sadomasochistic freak that perverts your life into madness, you have not reprieve, no home, so safety in case of danger from life’s afflictions. My parents are currently millionaires, living in the Sea Cliff area of San Francisco. The house was purchased after the building for the church was purchased. The house they currently now own, with only them on title, was originally bought as a place where the ministers live while preaching at the church. I forget what it’s called, but it is a common thing that happens to pastors or preachers. You don’t make that much money doing this type of service, so you often are furnished with a home to reside in as you are the leaders of the church.The man that bought the church building at O’Farrell and Divisadero in San Francisco, California, committed suicide in the early nineties. He had bought the building using funds from his family trust. There was a home in the Sea Cliff area that was purchased for my mother. Four people went in on this property. They also moved in with us to our new home. What a nightmare that became in my life. I did get my own room. I was better off than my older two siblings. They were pushed out of this home that was nearly 10,000 square feet, supposedly there was no room. This all took place in the early to mid- seventies. Over the years I watched as each person that had invested their personal trusts in the purchase of properties (there were a few more) was edged out and then removed from the titles of the property. One at time, quietly, behind the backs of the other. By the time it was your turn to be taken off the title you realized that it was my mother and step-father only against you. They used all that you did over the years to blackmail you into signing the property over to them. So now on the title of this very large home is my mother and step-father, it looks as normal as normal could be these days. No history, no evidence of anything, anymore, there is only one original investor left and she is living at my grandparents’ home in Roseburg, Oregon. They sold the building some years back, oh wait, that was exact to the time they came after me again, five years to date I think. My mother listed herself as president and my step-father listed himself as secretary. They turned right around and bought a duplex directly down the street from their home in the avenues. They purchased it with the money from the non-profit church that the building had supposedly housed for the past thirty-five years or so. They bought this new property with my younger half-sister and half-brother, and themselves listed as the purchasers. At this point I had had enough. My brother who had been through telling times such as I, lives on the street and has for a very long time. Never had a home since that day, I know for fact. So in my disgust that the two golden children of my stepfather were being bought a million dollar home so they could each have a private flat, busted me open.All they had to do was get a tri-plex and maybe I would have kept my mouth shut. But the blatant fuck-you was just too much after all the horrors that we both survived. Before this happened I never intended to write at all.Well it went too far, to have my step-fathers children gain from the people that had practiced on us before turning on their own families was over the top. Greed pushed the envelope and now they had to be very quick with me to shut me up in case I remembered anything of the past. So all they were doing is tying up all the loose ends, and I am the biggest loose end they had left. I had a good job, owned my own house and car, had great kids in spite of two nasty divorces, I had really moved on in life. You see they did not know if I remembered anything as a child and they had to know since one of the biggest wills was about to hit and they had just sold the building bought by Jim Mosley, the one who jumped off the bridge. Oh yea, about Jim, two weeks before he jumped off the bridge my mother told him, “your family would be better if you were dead.” I guess it put him over the edge, because he jumped and died. My brother and I confronted our mother saying pretty much the same thing. Why didn't you just take a gun and shoot him in the head. We both told her she was guilty of murder. Just because nobody can prove it doesn’t mean we don't know it to be true. I told you live or die, they do not care, and they just do not want to get caught for all the terrors and horrific acts of terror that they have committed together. Let alone all the money they have conned out of people.So now.............. I am headed to the street next week. I had a severe injury to my back at PetSmart, I was the Store Director at a 40 thousand square foot store in Sacramento, California. The workers compensation case has not settled but I do not receive any monies. I had my L4/L5 discs fused, 360 degrees; it was successful because I can walk again. However it has left me unable to work full-time. I was released to work 27 hours a week. The company let me go, due to the fact I could not do my job in that amount of time. So here I am, finally broke enough to file for Disability and with no way to support myself for the time it takes to be approved. You are meant to be able to have someone to stay with during the three to four month period of time it takes for the approval process. That is what they suggested to me. Well, I do not. I won’t break my will and get down on my knees and pray to my mother, step-father, half-sister and half-brother, so they said I deserve to be on the street with my brother. Since I will not abide by their demand they are celebrating the fact I will be homeless soon............Saturday, July 2, 2011
I go the game! You want to play? It will take your breath away if you loose.
I sometimes find it difficult to speak on certain subjects in my life. I have these haunting moments that happen in my life when I see particular people. As I am now all alone, I understand that some people are meant to walk a path that is without the company of others. I never really fought this idea in myself because it all started on a sunny day long ago.
The house was relatively quiet on this Saturday morning, but while I laid in bed I knew that it was just a matter of time before things would erupt. I laid in my little bed, I had the smallest room in the house. My headboard was up against the far wall from the door and it faced my tiny, little closet. I had a small window off to the right of me that I liked to leave open at night. I loved the cool air as it rushed in with the wind moving through my room at night, it made me feel alive. As I was laying there I thought to myself about how alone I always was in my life. Not lonely, just by myself. I had an older brother who's room was adjacent to mine and my older sisters room was on the other side of the stairs. They always seemed to be partnered together in everything. Even to this day they are solid in there togetherness when in person. I never remember them fighting about anything, just rushing about with their friends. For the most part they seemed very happy.
The odd moments always came eventually, one of those strange times came when my mother would tell my father that they needed to be spanked. This would happen when he came home from work. Everyone was immediately sent to there rooms while my mother confessed the dirty deeds of the day. It all seemed so pointless though, because he would go into each of their rooms and tell them to yell or scream as he would hit the bed. This was all so my mother would think that they had received their licking. In preparation of all of this, while being sent to our rooms they did put on layers upon layers of underwear, I guess that was a "Just in case plan."
On this morning, being it was Saturday again, I moved my feet under the covers as I was wondering if I should retreat to my closet. As I stared at the closet door I thought how cute it was, the half door, about a foot or so off the floor. I loved climbing inside of it. It often took the top choice for my days hiding place. I wondered why nobody ever bothered to look for me in there. The temperature of the day in the emotional outburst yet to come this morning, would determine whether or not hiding was prudent or not. I had not yet heard the Master Bedroom door handle jiggle, so I was still safe in my bed. I thought, "I wonder if getting under my bed today would be better than my little homemade house in the closet."
I could not stand the yelling and screaming from the people down the hall, while in the closet it seemed to help shut the noise out. And it did look better if it happened to be a day where we were going to spend it as a family, as oppose to what seemed more regular fare, at odds with one another. Everyone, being my brother, my sister and I would be grounded to our rooms for a day like that one. I never minded it much, it saved me from having to protect myself from my siblings latest hooray. They of course, would sneak in and out of there rooms all day, or at least until there friends came over. It would come to light later that they had been sneaking downstairs to use the phone to get there friends to have their parents call and come visit for the afternoon. That was the only way we would be released from the house arrest of our prison rooms. I never did like that much and most times would remain hiding inside of my room and hopefully remain undetected by all it I was lucky.
It is so odd to look back and think that I layed in bed pondering which would be a better place to spend my day. In the closet hidden away in the comfort of the darkness or under my bed where I could stretch all the way out with my pillow and blanket for friends. I opted for under my bed if I had time to scramble that fast on that day. I would draw pictures on the hard wood floor with my finger. I loved the breeze as it would blow through the window and I tended to enjoy the natural sunlight. My closet was getting a little small for me these days, I had to hold my knees up to fit properly, especially if anyone had taken up residence with me.
The sun was filtering into my room and I heard the morning voices warming up at the end of the hall to begin the dreaded weekend with everyone at home and ready for the next big fight. If I can just make it through the next two days, then I will have five days off from my siblings and the wrath of these two people that refer to themselves as the parents. I laughed to myself on that morning because my father had installed a pay phone in a closet under the stair well. Just like the Harry Potter closet actually. My mother had made so many long distance calls that the bill came in and it was for hundreds of dollars, that was a fight to remember. Anyhow you had to have money in hand to make any calls out of the house these days which proved to be an inconvenience for my siblings but a blessing in disguise for me. So my brother and sister on that particular Saturday were in a pickle, they tried to borrow some money from me, at this point I could still scream and be heard which would be devastating to their plan. So they did not come into my room, a small pleasure that I was able to experience. With them halted at my doorway, I sat in my bed and nodded my head no and they stormed away. Eventually they scrounged around and found some coins to complete their mission anyway.
Now all they had to do was successfully make it downstairs to the phone and back up to their room before they were reported missing in action by my mother. She would deflect the impending anger from my father onto them for not listening to their father and staying in there room when they had been told to do so. Of course this seems to take place before anyone has actually made downstairs for breakfast. All of this would happen while behind closed doors, first thing in the morning while they supposedly were planning our day. Half the time I thought my mother was in on it with my siblings. It seemed my father wanted no visitors for the day and she would argue that people were already planning to come by. It almost seemed like that was the part of the screaming argument that my brother and sister would use as the Que to call their friends. This is all because the success rate was always pretty high, at least it seemed that my mother got her way more than my father had his way in the matter.
I hated the weekends, it was always dangerous for me. I was the lone kid that seemed to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time, being tortured by my siblings. This morning I would come up with a better plan. I would wait through all of this running back and forth, leaving myself in plain site. Then right before everyone put on their happy faces for whomever was ringing the doorbell for a visit, I would roll over and out of my bed, grab my pillow and my blanket heading straight for the spot directly underneath where I was now laying. I would keep the window ajar for the day and I would make sure that I had the proper stuff (shoes, clothes, toys) that made adequate noise when moved about, it worked as an early alarm system for anyone searching under the bed to find me (I often fell asleep). As I had to plan, I had decide whether or not to climb over or move these objects out of the way for my hurried trip into hiding. Hhmm, maybe I should gain entry to my safety spot using the foot of the bed. Or should I pull all the stuff out and climb under pulling everything back as I shimmy over close to the wall. I sat up and leaned over to check my collection of things that I had put there the night before in preparation for my Saturday hide out. It all looked good, "That is what I'll do," I thought to myself. It looks less planned and more like I cleaned my room in a hurry, shoving everything under my bed to hide the mess. Then they will think that I am some where else, leaving me in peace. As I sat in my bed I looked at my closet one more time and thought, "I sure do miss sitting up during the day, but its getting scary and I don't want to be found today."
My timing had to be impeccable or my siblings would not think that I had taken off to hide someplace else in the house. So while I waited and watched as they ran back and forth, up and down the stairs periodically checking to see if I was still in my room, I thought to myself, "Somewhere out there, there is a boy that will be my knight in shining armor and someday I will meet him." The strength for caring on that day was had by me, all in that one stupid thought. I had seen Cinderella and I just knew that that was me in my little room. Someday I would go to the ball and there he'd be, to save me from this family that is not mine. I smiled, and laughed to myself. Just then I heard the door and I was gone. Out of sight, out of mind! I was safe to dream about a day that never came.
There are no soul mates, or twin souls in this world. I grew-up to find out that the Cinderella story that I had held so close, is a lie. I hate that I did to myself something that is so hard to undo today. I still cry because I thought that it was true, the pain of the hurt deep inside still festers. I thought that every person, had a person, that they would meet as an adult and then they could say, "I dreamed of you as a little girl, I stayed safe because I wanted to meet you someday, thanks for being here with me. You take the fear away of being killed today." I did grow-up to know not to say the second sentence to anyone should I have been lucky enough to meet him.
So on this Saturday, today, the 2nd of July, 2011, which is so far from then, I say to you that dreams of children are really just ways to get through the nightmare of the lives they are stuck in. I had someone tell me not to long ago that I must have been a terrible person in my before this life. That I am obviously paying a tremendous karmic debt. I said, "Yea, you're right, I am sure I deserved this life that I am living." It is what happens I guess or at least that is what the majority of the world believes to happen when you have been a monster in a life before this one. I believe that we are innocent when we are born and we come to learn lessons about past lives. I like this theory because it fits my life. It means that these people who claim to be my parents are not mine. For I belong to another time and I have been separated from that time so that I could come here to learn of evil. I like that about having a past life belief structure. The end all for me is I am not related to any of these people that call themselves family. So, I trade my Cinderella Story as a little girl in on today's wish, dream or belief, whichever you feel fits this story best.
As I sit typing away on my computer I hold the faith that I am here to learn of evil and to become solidly independent of other human beings, learning to walk alone, always. I laugh to myself as I get up to get a cup of coffee and I think, "I still like climbing in the closet, I have my little single bed that fits perfectly all set-up for this afternoons retreat to safety." Some habits die hard and some evolve with our intelligence to know we can have our cake and eat it too. A closet in an apartment that fits my bed perfectly. So I have a double bed for appearances that I love to sleep in, but as I sat up this morning, I looked across my room and into my closet where my safety net lies, I laugh at myself when I should probably cry. A dream come true from when I was a kid. The comfort of my bed and the safety of my closet, hidden from view, hidden from all of you, hidden from the uncertainty of every day that I have lived.
Good morning, its Saturday, I cannot play, I am busy hiding myself away in the dark yet again. I am 46 years old and I still hide from them. I do what makes me feel safe inside. I am still alive and I have not committed suicide so I guess what I am doing works to keep you alive, yet another day in this nightmare life. Life does go on, with or without you.
To all the people that laugh at human beings with PTSD, shame on you. It never goes away, hopefully one day it gets better, it seems the further you get from the incident the better your chances for recovery seem to be. But some of us were the incident and we are never safe. I don't think that I am a coward for hiding, I think that I am afraid inside of myself and I cannot get well when I know that nobody will understand my fears. They are real and the proof is certain for all to know, they just need to take the time to meet the players. There is only one thing you can count on in this life, Death. It comes for us all eventually, but mine came for me when I was very young and I am still afraid because a human being brought it. You live with that fear today and tomorrow maybe you can understand why it is so difficult for me to move sometimes and why I stay hidden away. I don't do it all the time, but the fact that I keep a closet set-up for me to climb into should be testimony enough for you to know that I need no proof of the abuse I suffered, its all right out in front of you for you to judge my life yet again.
I go the game, Play?
My half-sister, the daughter of my step-father, the second golden child, to the first golden child Tamara who is my eldest sister. She, Sarah, said to me the following two and a half three years ago now.
"You should take a gun and blow your head-off. It would be the best thing for the family." These words directly out of her mouth, as she came at me from across the dining table, with rage and eyes that spoke a familiar language to me.
I have told a few people, counselors and laymen alike since then, what she said to me because it impacted me so strongly. The people, who, I will give you, were few, all said the same thing, "Oh, she didn't mean it." Maybe now they can know that she did, it runs in families you see, family's like mine. I saw her eyes as she tore across the room at me. She had to be stopped physically because she was going to attack me. I looked up at her and our eyes met as I was moving to get out of her way. Its in there eyes Ladies and Gentleman. You never forget it once you have seen it. When a person comes to extinguish your life, they look the part, they are in a psychosis or a state of mind that is so troubling to me that I can barely breath as I write. To add insult to injury, since then, believe it or not, I think of what she said while I am and have been in a personal battle not to commit what has been on my mind since I was eight years old. It has taken this long to even begin to get what she said and the scenario she rattled off in such rage off of my mind as a potential relief from this life. Monsters are real in my life, its a shame that nobody takes what I say seriously when I say it. But maybe now, today you can realize the fear that I wake in and the horror that I go to sleep with each night. These are not just memories as a child. It is my life and it is mired with tragedy that nobody can even begin to comprehend, let alone understand, so I hide because I can't forget, how are you meant to "GET OVER IT," if they still want me dead.
Maybe now you know that you should feel the heat of shame on your face for telling me, a person that has been through Hell here on Earth, that I don't know when somebody wants you dead. She meant it, and its wrong to say to anyone at anytime regardless. My best friend committed suicide, death is real in my life and my family is aware of the two suicides out of the church my mother ran, so my sister is very well-aware of how suggestive words or statements can be. For Christs sake, my mother told the man that jumped off the bridge two weeks before he did it, "Your family would be better off if you were dead." A quote from an ex-church member today.
Death come to everyone differently, but in my life it comes at the hands of real live people who call themselves my family.Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
A Pagan Record Of More
The Danger, the Fright, the Fear,inhabits not Me,but what is near.Positive Outcomes,for any given Scenario,seem unclear,almost a Hoax.A Dangerous Ground,to rely upon,or Stand when,Reporting is Lacking Integrity,of "What has Been."A Collective Repair,non-existent in society.As Hatred Bleeds,our need to Rage,"Becomes You."Pulled-OUT-of School,Wisdom Challenged,by 'Whom?'Graduates Past,declare and I paste:*The Outcome of American Christian Education - Katherine Dang, Philomath FoundationEvery philosophy or view of education has its own peculiar set of consequences which are eventually revealed in the lives, character, and conscience of its pupils.
In an education with an emphasis on Biblical reasoning, i.e. American Christian education, individual self education begins to occur around the ages of ten through twelve. With adequate guidance the pupil develops a growing capacity to read, reason, write, and research on his own. Herein is the necessity for self-teaching texts and guides. When the Biblical foundations are laid in the childhood years, the path of reasoning and the inspiration for learning is established for individual self teaching. As children are taught to walk on their own, to eat their meals on their own, to dress themselves on their own, and to work on their own, why are we not expectant that they be taught to learn on their own? Is it not reasonable to expect that self-teaching be an outcome of one’s education?
An invaluable consequence of American Christian Education is the pupil’s acquiring the art of self-government or the skill of Biblical reasoning. When children are regularly exercised in their own ability to read and reason, to deduce principles from ideas, to draw inferences and correct conclusions, and then to articulate and write them, this then is the essence of original scholarship.
In truth, one’s own education is his first individual enterprise, the first step towards his pursuit of happiness or his own vocation and livelihood. From God is mankind given a title to his own happiness, his own enjoyment of the fruits of his own labor. Parents and teachers owe the pupil only the rudiments, the first fundamental principles or foundations of life and learning. The pupil owes it to himself to build upon these foundations to reach maturity and adulthood. His years of youth are his years of building and engaging in the self-enterprise of pursuing his own happiness or livelihood.
American Christian Education is a new deal when one considers the conventional aim, content, and approach to education of today. While America is awash with socialism, American Christian Education is the antidote for modern socialism. American Christian Education creates cutting-edge generations, generations not socialized, trained, and accustomed to thinking and acting only as a part of some group. Individuals knowing how to be independently dependent upon the absolute principles of all of life and living will begin the undoing of socialism in America.Raped of my own education,my Family Supports,this Avid Idea,Practiced on Me.Left to my own devices,Evolution took Pity,made me learn nothing more than,Turn Away,from this Ignorance of the Day.I State,I Am and You will be Due,forMy ERUPT,upon Humanity.~Sincerely Yours,A Seer, A Sage, A Genius Savant, A Prodigy & Probably More,not the OUT-COME of a christian Take,but theNatural Gifts Bestowed upon MY Life by Creation Herself at Birth,not here,but in the Bosom of Her Heir.With More Than Pride,I State,~The Continue~A PAGAN RECORD~A Very Personal Roar!!~*The Characteristics of American Christian Education - Katherine Dang, Philomath FoundationWhen teaching is distressful for the instructor how much more distressful does it then become for the learner? How unjust is this outcome for the poor individual who is a novice at the feet of someone supposedly learned but driven to demonstrate his competence by demanding that his learners perform an arbitrarily determined degree of competence within arbitrarily determined constraints of time?
If the teacher is driven to teach, then does he not become a virtual taskmaster of his students; and they become burdened with heavy, unreasonable loads to bear? The injustice is so much the greater offense when the novice is but a child.
Biblical education by definition is easy and light. Scripture tells us how children are taught: "For precept must be upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little." Isaiah 28:10. When one is taught the principles by which to reason in a given subject, and then consistently exercised in reasoning from principles, then he becomes free from, and independent of, rote learning.
American Christian education affords the training of individual reasoning in which one may come to his own correct conclusions in any given subject. Below are what may be identifiable characteristics of American Christian education:
1. Liberty for the individual to reflect, believe, and follow principles -- as opposed to enslavement to the strict letter of imposed, formulated, standardized answers.
2. Lessons are suited to one’s capacity; given an easy yoke to bear; one is not being given more than he can bear -- as opposed to straining under a heavy burden of unreasonable compliance to an arbitrarily standardized load of work.
3. Simple, uncomplicated principles and ideas to master -- as opposed to having to master by rote an overwhelming amount of minute facts and information.* Katherine Dang of the Philomath Foundation
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Title: My Horse Needed Ponies? No. My Pony Needed Horses? Well, what is a voice? Words A Voice is a shoe. Words, And the tongue?
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- Presents, a Life with a Plan. My name is Karen Anastasia Placek, I am the author of this Google Blog. This is the story of my journey, a quest to understanding more than myself. The title of my first blog delivered more than a million views!! The title is its work as "The Secret of the Universe is Choice!; know decision" will be the next global slogan. Placed on T-shirts, Jackets, Sweatshirts, it really doesn't matter, 'cause a picture with my slogan is worth more than a thousand words, it's worth??.......Know Conversation!!!
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Now, you are able to build a machine and not a human corpse.
Attention Phil Swift,[BRAND NEW FOOTAGE: Flex Paste CLEAR Director’s Cut Commercial] this is a sensor, literally, this sensor is word defined on Google as word is word calculation: What is a computer sensor? In the broadest definition, a sensor is a device, module, machine, or subsystem that detects events or changes in its environment and sends the information to other electronics, frequently a computer processor.
2.
Neuron Identifiers MeSH D009474 NeuroLex ID sao1417703748 TA98 A14.0.00.002 TH H2.00.06.1.00002 FMA 54527 Anatomical terms of neuroanatomy
You searched for
"WANT" in the KJV Bible
30 Instances - Page 1 of 1 - Sort by Book Order - Feedback
- 2 Corinthians 8:14chapter context similar meaning copy save
- But by an equality, that now at this time your abundance may be a supply for their want, that their abundance also may be a supply for your want: that there may be equality:
- Psalms 23:1chapter context similar meaning copy save
- (A Psalm of David.) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
- Philippians 4:11chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.
- Job 31:19chapter context similar meaning copy save
- If I have seen any perish for want of clothing, or any poor without covering;
- Proverbs 24:34chapter context similar meaning copy save
- So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth; and thy want as an armed man.
- Psalms 34:9chapter context similar meaning copy save
- O fear the LORD, ye his saints: for there is no want to them that fear him.
- Proverbs 6:11chapter context similar meaning copy save
- So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.
- Proverbs 10:21chapter context similar meaning copy save
- The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.
- Proverbs 13:23chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Much food is in the tillage of the poor: but there is that is destroyed for want of judgment.
- Luke 15:14chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
- Job 30:3chapter context similar meaning copy save
- For want and famine they were solitary; fleeing into the wilderness in former time desolate and waste.
- Job 24:8chapter context similar meaning copy save
- They are wet with the showers of the mountains, and embrace the rock for want of a shelter.
- Psalms 34:10chapter context similar meaning copy save
- The young lions do lack, and suffer hunger: but they that seek the LORD shall not want any good thing.
- Jeremiah 33:17chapter context similar meaning copy save
- For thus saith the LORD; David shall never want a man to sit upon the throne of the house of Israel;
- Ezekiel 4:17chapter context similar meaning copy save
- That they may want bread and water, and be astonied one with another, and consume away for their iniquity.
- Proverbs 13:25chapter context similar meaning copy save
- The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul: but the belly of the wicked shall want.
- Proverbs 21:5chapter context similar meaning copy save
- The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want.
- 2 Corinthians 9:12chapter context similar meaning copy save
- For the administration of this service not only supplieth the want of the saints, but is abundant also by many thanksgivings unto God;
- Proverbs 22:16chapter context similar meaning copy save
- He that oppresseth the poor to increase his riches, and he that giveth to the rich, shall surely come to want.
- Judges 18:10chapter context similar meaning copy save
- When ye go, ye shall come unto a people secure, and to a large land: for God hath given it into your hands; a place where there is no want of any thing that is in the earth.
- Jeremiah 35:19chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Therefore thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel; Jonadab the son of Rechab shall not want a man to stand before me for ever.
- Jeremiah 33:18chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Neither shall the priests the Levites want a man before me to offer burnt offerings, and to kindle meat offerings, and to do sacrifice continually.
- Proverbs 14:28chapter context similar meaning copy save
- In the multitude of people is the king's honour: but in the want of people is the destruction of the prince.
- Amos 4:6chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And I also have given you cleanness of teeth in all your cities, and want of bread in all your places: yet have ye not returned unto me, saith the LORD.
- Isaiah 34:16chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them.
- Deuteronomy 28:48chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Therefore shalt thou serve thine enemies which the LORD shall send against thee, in hunger, and in thirst, and in nakedness, and in want of all things: and he shall put a yoke of iron upon thy neck, until he have destroyed thee.
- Mark 12:44chapter context similar meaning copy save
- For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living.
- Lamentations 4:9chapter context similar meaning copy save
- They that be slain with the sword are better than they that be slain with hunger: for these pine away, stricken through for want of the fruits of the field.
- Judges 19:19chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Yet there is both straw and provender for our asses; and there is bread and wine also for me, and for thy handmaid, and for the young man which is with thy servants: there is no want of any thing.
- Deuteronomy 28:57chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And toward her young one that cometh out from between her feet, and toward her children which she shall bear: for she shall eat them for want of all things secretly in the siege and straitness, wherewith thine enemy shall distress thee in thy gates.
You searched for
"TOWN" in the KJV Bible
12 Instances - Page 1 of 1 - Sort by Book Order - Feedback
- Mark 8:26chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And he sent him away to his house, saying, Neither go into the town, nor tell it to any in the town.
- Habakkuk 2:12chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Woe to him that buildeth a town with blood, and stablisheth a city by iniquity!
- John 11:1chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Now a certain man was sick, named Lazarus, of Bethany, the town of Mary and her sister Martha.
- Matthew 10:11chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And into whatsoever city or town ye shall enter, enquire who in it is worthy; and there abide till ye go thence.
- John 11:30chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Now Jesus was not yet come into the town, but was in that place where Martha met him.
- John 7:42chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Hath not the scripture said, That Christ cometh of the seed of David, and out of the town of Bethlehem, where David was?
- 1 Samuel 16:4chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And Samuel did that which the LORD spake, and came to Bethlehem. And the elders of the town trembled at his coming, and said, Comest thou peaceably?
- Joshua 2:15chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Then she let them down by a cord through the window: for her house was upon the town wall, and she dwelt upon the wall.
- 1 Samuel 27:5chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And David said unto Achish, If I have now found grace in thine eyes, let them give me a place in some town in the country, that I may dwell there: for why should thy servant dwell in the royal city with thee?
- Mark 8:23chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And he took the blind man by the hand, and led him out of the town; and when he had spit on his eyes, and put his hands upon him, he asked him if he saw ought.
- 1 Samuel 23:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And it was told Saul that David was come to Keilah. And Saul said, God hath delivered him into mine hand; for he is shut in, by entering into a town that hath gates and bars.
- Luke 5:17chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And it came to pass on a certain day, as he was teaching, that there were Pharisees and doctors of the law sitting by, which were come out of every town of Galilee, and Judaea, and Jerusalem: and the power of the Lord was present to heal them.
You searched for
"FORM" in the KJV Bible
23 Instances - Page 1 of 1 - Sort by Book Order - Feedback
- 2 Timothy 3:5chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
- Ezekiel 43:11chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And if they be ashamed of all that they have done, shew them the form of the house, and the fashion thereof, and the goings out thereof, and the comings in thereof, and all the forms thereof, and all the ordinances thereof, and all the forms thereof, and all the laws thereof: and write it in their sight, that they may keep the whole form thereof, and all the ordinances thereof, and do them.
- Mark 16:12chapter context similar meaning copy save
- After that he appeared in another form unto two of them, as they walked, and went into the country.
- Philippians 2:6chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
- Ezekiel 10:8chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And there appeared in the cherubims the form of a man's hand under their wings.
- 2 Timothy 1:13chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.
- Romans 2:20chapter context similar meaning copy save
- An instructor of the foolish, a teacher of babes, which hast the form of knowledge and of the truth in the law.
- Job 4:16chapter context similar meaning copy save
- It stood still, but I could not discern the form thereof: an image was before mine eyes, there was silence, and I heard a voice, saying,
- Isaiah 45:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
- Philippians 2:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of a servant, and was made in the likeness of men:
- Jeremiah 4:23chapter context similar meaning copy save
- I beheld the earth, and, lo, it was without form, and void; and the heavens, and they had no light.
- Isaiah 52:14chapter context similar meaning copy save
- As many were astonied at thee; his visage was so marred more than any man, and his form more than the sons of men:
- Romans 6:17chapter context similar meaning copy save
- But God be thanked, that ye were the servants of sin, but ye have obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine which was delivered you.
- 2 Samuel 14:20chapter context similar meaning copy save
- To fetch about this form of speech hath thy servant Joab done this thing: and my lord is wise, according to the wisdom of an angel of God, to know all things that are in the earth.
- Ezekiel 8:10chapter context similar meaning copy save
- So I went in and saw; and behold every form of creeping things, and abominable beasts, and all the idols of the house of Israel, pourtrayed upon the wall round about.
- Daniel 3:25chapter context similar meaning copy save
- He answered and said, Lo, I see four men loose, walking in the midst of the fire, and they have no hurt; and the form of the fourth is like the Son of God.
- Daniel 2:31chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Thou, O king, sawest, and behold a great image. This great image, whose brightness was excellent, stood before thee; and the form thereof was terrible.
- 2 Chronicles 4:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And he made ten candlesticks of gold according to their form, and set them in the temple, five on the right hand, and five on the left.
- Isaiah 53:2chapter context similar meaning copy save
- For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him.
- 1 Samuel 28:14chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And he said unto her, What form is he of? And she said, An old man cometh up; and he is covered with a mantle. And Saul perceived that it was Samuel, and he stooped with his face to the ground, and bowed himself.
- Daniel 3:19chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Then was Nebuchadnezzar full of fury, and the form of his visage was changed against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego: therefore he spake, and commanded that they should heat the furnace one seven times more than it was wont to be heated.
- Ezekiel 8:3chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And he put forth the form of an hand, and took me by a lock of mine head; and the spirit lifted me up between the earth and the heaven, and brought me in the visions of God to Jerusalem, to the door of the inner gate that looketh toward the north; where was the seat of the image of jealousy, which provoketh to jealousy.
- Genesis 1:2chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.
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You searched for
"SOUND" in the KJV Bible
86 Instances - Page 1 of 3 - Sort by Book Order - Feedback
- Revelation 9:9chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And they had breastplates, as it were breastplates of iron; and the sound of their wings was as the sound of chariots of many horses running to battle.
- Leviticus 25:9chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Then shalt thou cause the trumpet of the jubile to sound on the tenth day of the seventh month, in the day of atonement shall ye make the trumpet soundthroughout all your land.
- Jeremiah 48:36chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Therefore mine heart shall sound for Moab like pipes, and mine heart shall soundlike pipes for the men of Kirheres: because the riches that he hath gotten are perished.
- Jeremiah 50:22chapter context similar meaning copy save
- A sound of battle is in the land, and of great destruction.
- Psalms 119:80chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Let my heart be sound in thy statutes; that I be not ashamed.
- Proverbs 8:14chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Counsel is mine, and sound wisdom: I am understanding; I have strength.
- Titus 2:1chapter context similar meaning copy save
- But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine:
- Job 15:21chapter context similar meaning copy save
- A dreadful sound is in his ears: in prosperity the destroyer shall come upon him.
- Titus 2:2chapter context similar meaning copy save
- That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience.
- Proverbs 2:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.
- 1 Chronicles 15:19chapter context similar meaning copy save
- So the singers, Heman, Asaph, and Ethan, were appointed to sound with cymbals of brass;
- Titus 1:13chapter context similar meaning copy save
- This witness is true. Wherefore rebuke them sharply, that they may be sound in the faith;
- Proverbs 3:21chapter context similar meaning copy save
- My son, let not them depart from thine eyes: keep sound wisdom and discretion:
- 1 Corinthians 14:8chapter context similar meaning copy save
- For if the trumpet give an uncertain sound, who shall prepare himself to the battle?
- Psalms 98:6chapter context similar meaning copy save
- With trumpets and sound of cornet make a joyful noise before the LORD, the King.
- Amos 6:5chapter context similar meaning copy save
- That chant to the sound of the viol, and invent to themselves instruments of musick, like David;
- Isaiah 16:11chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and mine inward parts for Kirharesh.
- 1 Kings 18:41chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And Elijah said unto Ahab, Get thee up, eat and drink; for there is a sound of abundance of rain.
- 2 Timothy 1:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
- Nehemiah 4:20chapter context similar meaning copy save
- In what place therefore ye hear the sound of the trumpet, resort ye thither unto us: our God shall fight for us.
- 2 Timothy 1:13chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Hold fast the form of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith and love which is in Christ Jesus.
- Jeremiah 4:21chapter context similar meaning copy save
- How long shall I see the standard, and hear the sound of the trumpet?
- Ezekiel 27:28chapter context similar meaning copy save
- The suburbs shall shake at the sound of the cry of thy pilots.
- Job 39:24chapter context similar meaning copy save
- He swalloweth the ground with fierceness and rage: neither believeth he that it is the sound of the trumpet.
- Psalms 89:15chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Blessed is the people that know the joyful sound: they shall walk, O LORD, in the light of thy countenance.
- 1 Corinthians 14:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And even things without life giving sound, whether pipe or harp, except they give a distinction in the sounds, how shall it be known what is piped or harped?
- Titus 1:9chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Holding fast the faithful word as he hath been taught, that he may be able by sounddoctrine both to exhort and to convince the gainsayers.
- Acts 2:2chapter context similar meaning copy save
- And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.
- Titus 2:8chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
- Numbers 10:7chapter context similar meaning copy save
- But when the congregation is to be gathered together, ye shall blow, but ye shall not sound an alarm.
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"GRAVEL" in the KJV Bible
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- Proverbs 20:17chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.
- Lamentations 3:16chapter context similar meaning copy save
- He hath also broken my teeth with gravel stones, he hath covered me with ashes.
- Isaiah 48:19chapter context similar meaning copy save
- Thy seed also had been as the sand, and the offspring of thy bowels like the gravelthereof; his name should not have been cut off nor destroyed from before me.
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